Answer to "Why Do You Still Live in Oklahoma?" (Edmond: homes, transfer)

[Atlguy39]

Thats alright Flint, just nitpick away. I don't really care. Your conclusions are off but those are your conclusions. Again, religion doesn't bother me, I'm just not as religious. Conservatives aren't small minded, extremists can be. Are you going to argue with me about that? Are you going to argue that the majority of people who live here haven't lived anywhere else? They live in a bubble. Maybe some are well traveled, but probably many aren't. It doesn't matter. I'm wasting my time making my points.

[flintysooner]

Atlgiy39 - I think your opinions are genuinely held.

I believe as long as you depend on external citcumstance for your happiness you will be disappointed.

[Atlguy39]

Flinty, I can agree with you there, but that's not relevant to this discussion. As a self help junkie, I'm very aware of what you're referring to and agree.

[flintysooner]

Quite a few years ago now I happened to complete a Myers-Briggs questionnaire. The psychologist explained that my profile was INTJ (Introverted-iNtuitive-Thinking-Judging). This was new to me then but I found it extremely helpful then and have continued to benefit from knowing about it.

If you fit that profile it might help you to search for INTJ and dating or INTJ and relationships and just read a bit about what you find.

Truly my best wishes for you.

[the12ronin]

flinty - Nice classy last line directly above. Impressed with that. Ya never see that kind of measured turnaround in most of the other forums

bchris - I think you're a great poster in here, and what I particularly respect about you is that you went from not having the nicest things to say about OKC in earlier posts to now having a bit of a better opinion and even sticking up for it a bit here and there as you come to know and understand it better. That's a class act, and shows me something truly fair and balanced.


I'm just popping in here as I've been following this thread, and really feel atlguy deserves a bit of a break. I mean, he's obviously a decent guy, and is just really a fish out of water in his new locale.

He hasn't openly bashed OKC in any way which you never see on C-D when someone's having trouble in a new city, and he -is-trying to make it work. He's just frustrated. Y'all should be getting behind him and rallying him instead of taking apart every little thing he says and making it as if he has some chip on his shoulder in general.

I myself am contemplating a move to OKC, and I happen to be the polar opposite of him, complete extrovert and very friendly and comfortable with just about any decent folks.

But I still feel reservation about the move. I have many of the same concerns he does with friends and dating, and I know firsthand having lived in multiple major cities how much locals can be closed and stand-offish. OKC has to be even moreso given it's relative isolation and less-than-transient nature.

In my experience, it usually takes a breakthrough with a local or two and then your social world starts unfolding right in front of you in your new home. I'm sure he'll find his way, but for heaven's sakes, encourage the lad, don't further ostracize him for his relatively different stance on certain aspects than the OK norm. That only serves to prove his point that outsiders are branded as such and don't have much of a chance before they are thrown to the wolves.

Just my 2 cents I'm mentioning. I wish I could help ya atlguy, but I don't know the lay of the land yet so I can't really give you that specific advice. Just be yourself, and sooner or later, your going to find the one person who relates to you, and from there, the friends should start to materialize.

edit: I am curious though guys, is the dating that barebones in OKC? I am extremely single, and it's important to me that at 31, I can find a decent bunch of fish in the sea in my age range who are not mothers or hitched, or anything else that negates them as prospects. I keep hearing this over and over about the dating scene being null and void in OKC proper, and I'd really like someone(#1soonersfan maybe, since he lives mid-town) to really shed some light on this. I know the pickings won't be along the lines of a larger more densely populated city, but it has to be at least existent or all the extrovertedness in the world is not gonna make a spit of difference.

[Atlguy39]

Well written, the12ronin. Obviously, I was frustrated in my posts. I usually write better and express myself in a less confrontational way. You're right about people proving my point though. As much as "Okies" like to say they're welcoming and help each other (as is the case with the tornadoes), they're really not all that welcoming (my office aside). I know part of that is me being quiet and introverted, but I'm not that bad. As I said, I force myself to be social, just have some anxiety around people I don't know. Its only around people I don't know. Unfortunately, thats everyone here outside of the office. I take that back, I have met lots of people, but again, not integrated into their social circles yet.

Flinty, I'm an ISTJ. I know all about Myers-Briggs. I've done that and many other personality assessments, in part to decide on a career direction and part for personal life reasons. Its pretty darn accurate, particularly on the I score. I'm a high introvert. I don't love that about myself, as it would be soooo much easier if I were extroverted, at least in the U.S. (I say U.S. because not every country is extroverted like we are).

[flintysooner]

Originally Posted by Atlguy39

Flinty, I'm an ISTJ. I know all about Myers-Briggs. I've done that and many other personality assessments, in part to decide on a career direction and part for personal life reasons. Its pretty darn accurate, particularly on the I score. I'm a high introvert. I don't love that about myself, as it would be soooo much easier if I were extroverted, at least in the U.S. (I say U.S. because not every country is extroverted like we are).

I thought you might be. There's quite a few of us, too.

I was one of those who always wondered if I was actually adopted. In high school and certainly in college when everyone else was eagerly anticipating the football game I was feeling guilty because there were few things I dreaded more. And if I attended it took at least 2 days of being alone approach normal.

And I'm surrounded by S's who think these little, trivial details are so important that it nearly drives me crazy.

However, in my case when I began to understand some of my peculiarities I was able to compensate in some cases and at least prepare for the consequences when I couldn't.

Since you're a planner you may have a bunch of S's, F's, and P's surrounding you, too.

[flintysooner]

Originally Posted by the12ronin

I am curious though guys, is the dating that barebones in OKC? I am extremely single, and it's important to me that at 31, I can find a decent bunch of fish in the sea in my age range who are not mothers or hitched, or anything else that negates them as prospects. I keep hearing this over and over about the dating scene being null and void in OKC proper, and I'd really like someone(#1soonersfan maybe, since he lives mid-town) to really shed some light on this. I know the pickings won't be along the lines of a larger more densely populated city, but it has to be at least existent or all the extrovertedness in the world is not gonna make a spit of difference.

I wasn't very good at dating when I was young and aging didn't much improve me.

I quite looking and then love found me.

PS - It just took one, too.

[the12ronin]

Originally Posted by flintysooner

I wasn't very good at dating when I was young and aging didn't much improve me.

I quite looking and then love found me.

PS - It just took one, too.

That it does my friend, that it does.

[_redbird_]

Originally Posted by Atlguy39

Redbird, I'm a planner. Not to mention in my career field, I can't just drop everything and move and find a job within a month, or even a year. Its just that way. So I think your suggestion is absurd. Then again, you don't know my industry and maybe yours is in high demand and easy to find jobs. I don't know many industries like that other than maybe oil and gas, and thats not what I do.

Actually, I said I DON'T RECOMMEND moving without a plan!! I also said you would not do it. Come on, guy, you are trying to hard too remain unhappy.
My way may be absurd, but who is stating they hate it here? I don't wallow in self-pity. I get up and do something about it. I think that's why they call our pale face friends "Sooners". It takes guts to get up and move.

Besides IMO if you are an introvert, you will have the same scenario where ever you land.

I don't know your field and you don't know mine. Pay attention to what you read before you post.