Seeking encouragement (Guthrie, Choctaw, Harrah: work, new home, crime)

[carvers wife]

After planning our move for a couple months we made it here last Friday. Maybe I'm just not giving it enough time, but I'm failing to see the OK friendliness that I read about that ultimately brought us here...I guess the gates aound peoples' houses go way back, but I really don't understand it. It seems contradicting to the friendliness to me. We took a walk on Sunday evening to meet the neighbors only to find out one family wouldn't answer their door and the other's gate was closed and locked. Can someone explain this to me? Is it not a desireable thing to have company? In New York I never locked my home if I was in it and would welcome company at any time...This puzzles me. Are there concerns I'm not aware of that would make me want to close and lock my gate here (In Choctaw, by the way)?

The other thing is, all this rain has my shower, washer and toilet backed up and stinking like crazy. The plumber tells me it's just because of all the rain and, when things dry up, they'll flow like normal again. Thankfully we have dual plumbing, so, although I can't do laundry atleast we have an extra bathroom and shower. Should I be more concerned than I am about this issue before our closing or does it make sense that he is right? What about this rain? Is there hope for it to stop anytime soon? It's not normal is it? I heard it's going to make the ticks and other bugs bad.

I'm keeping the faith that things will be better, but could use some encouragement that we did make the right decision.

keeping in mind my son is 16. We went to the Bass Pro Shop today and also heard the OKC Memorial was a must-see. Any other ideas of what we can venture out to do without spending a lot of money? Any organized paintball or biking parks or anything else along those lines for him?
Thanks in advance for your help.

[Synopsis]

I'm sorry to hear that your experience hasn't been a good one. However, you've only been there less than a week and I think you should just give it time. You might also live in a neighborhood where people are just not as friendly, I don't know. I do know that Oklahomans are generally VERY friendly. As for the rain, this is not normal but occasionally happens and happens everywhere. Frankly, it's better than being in a drought like the one we suffered for the last few years. Keep the faith CW and you will do just fine.
As for things to do in OkC that aren't too expensive, I'm sure there are many. Read some earlier threads and there are posts with all kinds of things to do. I don't live there or I would help you out. Actually, I think this should have been posted in the OkC forum; you might get more responses as it appears this is where you live. Oh, and the OkC memorial is a must-see.

Good luck! Not that you'll need it.

[Guthrie Kid]

I am curious, what side of the Metro did you move to?

Here is a link to some reviews of a paintball facility in Guthrie:

Adventure Zone Paintball Field (Guthrie, Oklahoma) - pbreview.com

Sorry, I now see you said you are in Choctaw.

[Jammie]

Carver, hang in there. It's got to be a big step to move and you're going to be more sensitive to surroundings and people right after you move there. Where did you move from?

[nmnita]

Carver,

I am sure as time goes by things will change. Locking doors and gates is just something most people have done for years even in OK. I am shocked you didn't do it in NY. Good for you.

The rain has to be adding to your frustration. We found the people in OK to be very friendly on our visit there a few weeks ago. NO, not everyone, you will find sour pusses no matter where you live but everyone said hi, bye, nice day, thank you etc.

You may also be trying a little too hard and taking your neighbors by surprise. Give it time, say hi to everyone you see, but maybe knocking on doors could seem to they like being overly aggressive as we all know people from these areas are a little more laid back and a little slower to accept certain things. I started to say "a little slower" but that might be taken the wrong way.

Good luck and enjoy the summer, the sights and your new home when the rain stops. It will.
Nita

[jessaka]

So you live in a small town outside of OKC. I think you will notice the friendliness when shopping and just dealing with people. Knocking on doors may not get an answer, but saying hello to neighbors when they go outside should. If you are religious find a good church, if not try the Unitarian since they are more into socializing and don't care what your beliefs are, or join a club. The Chamber of Commerce has a list of them.

I made a new friend at church when I went up to say hello and added, "would you like to exchange numbers and see if we could become friends?" We talked for 2 hours on the phone the other night and have a lot in common. Now we are going out in a few minutes because she wants to find a certain book to buy. It took me 8 months to get up the nerve to say this to someone, but something told me that I would really like her, and I do.

I also meet people when I walk my dog. One day I found it so strange that people who were outside stopped what they were doing just to watch me walk through their neighborhood. One lady exchanged conversation with me and gave me a plant. I have yet to go visit her again. And every day I say I will. Now I have a plant or two to give to her.

So, just don't worry, be friendly, but don't knock on doors. Maybe there is a reason why gates are locked? Crime? So I think you will have better luck joining a club or going to church. To me, the Unitarian Church is a club since I don't go to services, I just go to the groups that I like there.

[peggydavis]

I think I would be a lot more concerned about the plumbing. It should NOT back up just because it rains a lot. Something is wrong.

As for the neighbors who wouldn't answer the door, maybe they thought you were church people.

I used to live in Harrah, the next town to your east.

[carvers wife]

We went to church last Sunday and my son went to a youth event the other night and found some kids who are going into his grade and he wants to join the gym with them to get trained for football. I am surprised how many people attend a Wednesday evening service here, and may try one of them as well...For today being a week, I guess I'm off to a good start. Next week we're planning on going out for fireworks. I've never been so bold as to just ask someone to be my friend, but I've never been so needy for a girlfriend as I am right now either.

We have a motorcycle and would be out riding during the daytime (My hubby works evenings), and I would be taking my dog for a walk (She so needs to get out of the house) in the evenings if the rain would stop, which they say will be early next week.

I still have a concern about the plumbing, too, but the plumber tells me this problem is common and describes my 'symptoms' to a tee. I also met a couple in the laundrymat with the same issues. They said it last happened to them in the 50's and once things dried out they were fine.

So, all things considered, I'm keeping the faith and optimism and believing I'll really enjoy life here in the near future.

[jessaka]

carver's wife,

I've never been so bold as to just ask someone to be my friend, but I've never been so needy for a girlfriend as I am right now either.

That is why I only said, "Would you like to see if we can become friends?" And if you have not really make a close friend after 9 months, you will understand why I finally reached out. Much like your knocking on doors.

Years ago when I lived in a small town of 200, I had driven down to my mailbox in the rain, and I met another woman there. She and I began talking, ignoring the rain, and she said, "Would you be my friend?" I said, "Yes." I never forgot her kind gesture, and we became very good friends. We are still in contact with each other. Of course you need to use your intuition or it wouldn't work. I had a feeling about the woman that I approached, and I was correct on it.

[peggydavis]

Are you on a septic tank or on a city sewer?

You should try to go down to Bricktown for the 4th of July fireworks. You can park in the Sante Fe parking garage for $5 I think, the demonstration is free. For less traffic, does Tinker AFB still put on its fireworks? You have to ride a shuttle into the base, but is not so crowded as Bricktown & is free.

Glad to hear that your son is making friends. Church is big with kids that age in providing social activities.