Bugs, bugs, and more bugs! (Cherokee, Long: attorney, house, living)
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There was a Far Side cartoon years ago called 'The Dark Side of Animal Attraction' - it showed a man with all kinds of critters sticking to him...
I didn't check his underwear, I just assumed the lightning bug was a "he" because "he" was out roaming around looking for love in all the wrong places.
I wouldn't wish the brown recluse on an enemy. You don't feel them crawl. I never felt a bite. The area itched and burned and I felt ill. The area turned black. I had bites at the base of my spine, twice on my hips, and the last bite was on my lower belly. The half-dollar size was black for almost a year. They say if it untreated you can lose flesh and you can die. I always treated immediately. I hope to never meet another.
I had hives for seven months after I stepped in a nest of chiggers in the driveway. I din't know the little buggers lived in the ground. I was bit from head to toe. I still do not know how they got in between my toes when I had shoes and sox on. The only place I did not have a bite was my eyes. And luckily my throat did not swell shut - which is always a possiblity with that many bites. I now carry an epi-pen. .
Mud Dobbers aka ground wasps are a bigger problem than the wasps that nest in the eaves on your porch. You do not know where they live until you find them with the mower. They swarm as bad a chiggers. If you get enough stings it can kill.
I've seen the tarantula sunning on rocks by the porch, copperhead slithering across the road, and I found a big black snake cozied up to electrical wires that came into the fuse panel. He was cold. He scared the stuffin' out of me. The sheriff was useless so I called my attorney. He knows OK critters. He looks at the snake and poked it with his finger said he wanted to see its face. I didn't.
God loved me - the snake slithered down the wires and disappeared..The only thing Mr. Lawyer said, "He was a big boy, wasn't he?. I never saw one that big." I could have killed him. I put lilac scented moth balls under the wires and never saw snake again.
Oklahoma has a wonderful critter population from Scissortail and wild turkey to the deer and Owl and red headed woody. I had a woodpecker that tried every day for a year to poke holes in an aluminum night-light cover outside my door. The noise was like living next to a jack hammer most mornings. What joy. I was so happy when it found a new target twenty feet away. I suppose if I lived in a city and not in a wooded area in the county on a lake, I would not have had some of the problems, but in retrospect, I would return in a heartbeat. I wouldn't want to miss a minute of it - except the brown recluse.
I wouldn't wish the brown recluse on an enemy. You don't feel them crawl. I never felt a bite. The area itched and burned and I felt ill. The area turned black. I had bites at the base of my spine, twice on my hips, and the last bite was on my lower belly. The half-dollar size was black for almost a year. They say if it untreated you can lose flesh and you can die. I always treated immediately. I hope to never meet another.
I had hives for seven months after I stepped in a nest of chiggers in the driveway. I din't know the little buggers lived in the ground. I was bit from head to toe. I still do not know how they got in between my toes when I had shoes and sox on. The only place I did not have a bite was my eyes. And luckily my throat did not swell shut - which is always a possiblity with that many bites. I now carry an epi-pen. .
Mud Dobbers aka ground wasps are a bigger problem than the wasps that nest in the eaves on your porch. You do not know where they live until you find them with the mower. They swarm as bad a chiggers. If you get enough stings it can kill.
I've seen the tarantula sunning on rocks by the porch, copperhead slithering across the road, and I found a big black snake cozied up to electrical wires that came into the fuse panel. He was cold. He scared the stuffin' out of me. The sheriff was useless so I called my attorney. He knows OK critters. He looks at the snake and poked it with his finger said he wanted to see its face. I didn't.
God loved me - the snake slithered down the wires and disappeared..The only thing Mr. Lawyer said, "He was a big boy, wasn't he?. I never saw one that big." I could have killed him. I put lilac scented moth balls under the wires and never saw snake again.
Oklahoma has a wonderful critter population from Scissortail and wild turkey to the deer and Owl and red headed woody. I had a woodpecker that tried every day for a year to poke holes in an aluminum night-light cover outside my door. The noise was like living next to a jack hammer most mornings. What joy. I was so happy when it found a new target twenty feet away. I suppose if I lived in a city and not in a wooded area in the county on a lake, I would not have had some of the problems, but in retrospect, I would return in a heartbeat. I wouldn't want to miss a minute of it - except the brown recluse.
Wow. You are starting to freak me out, man!
Are you sure your house wasn't built on an old indian graveyard?
When I was 3 1/2 years old, I was taken along with my extended family to chop cotton. (The city kids nowadays probably don't know what that means.) I discovered a blister bug. It crawled on my stomach and I smashed it and smeared it all over my stomach. I got blisters all over my stomach.
When I was 4 I tried to walk on a trailer hitch of an old wagon behind the chicken house. It had a wasp nest and 5 wasps landed on my achilles tendon and they tenderized my tendon. I screamed and cried.
When I was 7 a scorpion was in my dog's little dog house, so I pulled the blanket out and accidentally stepped on the scorpion. I was barefoot. It stung me. I screamed and cried.
Are you sure your house wasn't built on an old indian graveyard?
Not entirely. I worked and lived on one side of the lake and had a weekend house on the other side of the lake. Both were in original Cherokee Territory. But only one ground was flat enough and not so rocky that you could dig it. And there were Indian houses around me.
The first recluse bite I got I was visiting another state. That is where I learned they like to live in bushes like Arbor Vita and juniper. The last were from NE Oklahoma where I lived as was the snake and chiggers and tarantula and did I mention the scorpion I found outside the door and the fire ants I found inside.
I don't mean to scare anyone, but should be aware that Oklahoma is the Native State. - and a lot of critters are native to OK! The Hives was an allergic reaction to so many chigger bites it overwhelmed my natural auto-immune system. To give you a small example the hives were in my scalp, inside my ears, bottom of teet, in between towes and fingers, back butt, arms legs neck, under my arms, face, forehead, and the private parts of my body. I slept for four months. And it was another three before they were gone. It was another two before a felt good and a year before all the shell were picked off. I looked like a dalmation. The nurse said Hives can double.. That's what happened when the first outbreak began to recede, the second outbreak began. I did nothing for 4 months except sleep, eat and void. I could not stay away awake or stand long enough to do anything else. I needed sleep; I was 60 when that happened. I knew I would be okay the first time I watched tv for 30 minutes. The chigger nest looks like an ant hill. It' ain't. I learned to spray early and four times a year.
If he had "shorts" he wouldn't have the energy to flash.........
That is one of the most original jokes I've ever heard GP, and FUNNY!
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