Understandign Califronian (high crime, homes, school)

[Coldjensens]

Recieved this E-mail recently. It is titled a Wyoming interpretation of California lingo, but it is pretty applicable to any visitors who want to fully understand the lingo. Besides, it is funny.



-----
>
>Wyoming Translations of California Euphemisms.
>
>In California = In Wyoming
>
>Diverse or Lifestyle Choice= Sinful and Perverted
>
>Arsenal of Weapons= Gun Collection
>
>Delicate Wetlands= Swamp
>
>Undocumented Worker= Illegal Alien
>
>Cruelty-Free Materials= Synthetic Fiber
>
>Assault and Battery= Attitude Adjustment
>
>Heavily Armed= Well-protected
>
>Narrow-minded= Righteous
>
>Taxes or Your Fair Share= Coerced Theft
>
>Commonsense Gun Control= Gun Confiscation Plot
>
>Illegal Hazardous Explosives= Fireworks or Stump Removal
>
>Nonviable Tissue Mass= Unborn Baby
>
>Equal Access to Opportunity= Socialism
>
>Multicultural Community= High Crime Area
>
>Fairness or Social Progress= Marxism
>
>Upper Class or "The Rich" = Self-Employed
>
>Progressive, Change= Big Government Scheme
>
>Homeless or Disadvantaged= Bums or Welfare Leeches
>
>Sniper Rifle= Scoped Deer Rifle
>
>Investment For the Future= Higher Taxes
>
>Healthcare Reform= Socialized Medicine
>
>Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater= Conservative
>
>Truant= Homeschoolers
>
>Victim or Oppressed= Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
>
>High Capacity Magazine= Standard Capacity Magazine
>
>Religious Zealot= Church-going
>
>Reintroduced Wolves= Sheep and Elk Killers
>
>Fair Trade Coffee= Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
>
>Exploiters or "The Rich"= Employed or Land Owner
>
>The Gun Lobby= NRA Members
>
>Assault Weapon= Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
>
>Fiscal Stimulus= New Taxes and Higher Taxes
>
>Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting= Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
>
>
>--
>
>

[Twinkle Toes]

Understandign Califronian

I'm still scratching my head over this one. I'm trying to understand what the heck this says!

[Coldjensens]

Yes. That is really confusing. - - IF YOUR HAIR IS YELLOW!

[Deezus]

Why are people in the sticks so obsessed with California?

[robbybee]

jealousy, maybe?

[Fontucky]

From the state that gave us the Matthew Shepard torture and murder. There's your righteous.

[CAVA1990]

Originally Posted by Fontucky

From the state that gave us the Matthew Shepard torture and murder. There's your righteous.

And Dick Cheney!

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by Coldjensens

Yes. That is really confusing. - - IF YOUR HAIR IS YELLOW!

Mine's Blue-Black.

[sjnative]

Originally Posted by Deezus

Why are people in the sticks so obsessed with California?

There's not much else to talk about there.

I did enjoy this list, though as I would actually call it "balanced"- it didn't really bash either state. Most hinterland-derived descriptions of CA just bash the state and pretty low-grade, too.

[DinsdalePirahna]

Originally Posted by sjnative

There's not much else to talk about there.

I did enjoy this list, though as I would actually call it "balanced"- it didn't really bash either state. Most hinterland-derived descriptions of CA just bash the state and pretty low-grade, too.

Try living in Missouri for two years. There is an unfounded hatred of Californians there. They think we are all liberal, granola-eating, birkenstock-wearing, surfing-crazed hippies that shop at Trader Joe's who are hell bent on "Californicating" the state with socialism.