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The only reason why LA seems more open is because there are way more people in LA and san diego. If you do percentages, San Diego is better.
La is full of white women who want to marry rich. But it's not just white now lol I know a lot of Persian and Asian and even Latina women who do this now.
If you go to LA, if you go to where 99% of black people live aka south central long beach etc, they are all dating lack people. If you happen to see a black person in beverlyhills or maybe the valley, he or she is in the 2% of black people not counting celebrities, so obviously dating white has a higher chance than dating black.
The only difference between O.C and LA is the beach communities in LA are more "hollywood" so you will see more interracial. San Diego is known to seperate itself from LA and OC.
Atlanta strikes me as a center for upper-class black people. I just saw a lot of black people there who appeared to be well-off, well-dressed, and driving cars I can't afford. Meaning, if you're a well-educated black person, you probably have many dating opportunities there. Plus I saw many interracial (black and white) couples.
Thanks for sharing your experiences and point of view. And thanks for the compliment. I think we have the same exact "theory", that people are typically attracted to who/what they are exposed to the MOST. So very true. Although, I have seen some instances where someone "new" or "exotic" comes to a new town, and people flock to them because they're actually DIFFERENT from "the norm". Some people are actually attracted to those who are different from what they see each and everyday. So I guess it just depends honestly.
I agree that maybe OC is probably not the best place for an interracial gay couple raising a biracial child. I've never experienced any discrimination (to my knowledge), but I DO know that OC is VERY conservative. Much more conservative than I realized before moving out here lol. But if you got a "vibe" from the area, then by all means, I don't blame you for moving.
Haha! Actually I'm from the Suburbs lol. In fact, SoCal is much more "urban" than anywhere I've lived in my life to be honest. But I did grow up on the East coast, so even though I grew up in suburbia I had access to a major city about 30-35 minutes away. So it wasn't completely the sticks lol.
I just think the main difference is that on the East coast there's more black people in general, so IR dating and bw dating black AND other race men is pretty common back where I'm from because there's SO many more bw and black people in general.
So I'm honestly thinking (as another poster mentioned) that because of the few population of blacks in OC, and black women ESPECIALLY in OC, some men just haven't even been around bw long enough to even develop an attraction or get to know us.
Also, if the OC area is ultra conservative (as I'm suspecting), I can see why this has made some groups/demographics/those who have an alternative lifestyle shy away somewhat. I'm thinking it might be even a little tough for a gay or lesbian individual to find "love" out here in OC, so I'm sure it's not just bw noticing a difference. Not saying there aren't some who live out here (there are), but it might be a tad tougher in all honesty, as opposed to going to areas that are more gay friendly. I actually saw more openly gay individuals back where I'm from. I'm sure it's more "open" in LA.
Now as far as bm are concerned...I have no idea what's going on there. But there's a definite DIFFERENCE between bm on the west coast and bm on the east coast. It's a subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless.
Very interesting... Why is this?
San Diego hates the hollywood LA and the rich OC. If you go to the beach in San Diego, you will see a lot of black women white men. Also the "Asians" in San diego are mostly Filipino, and they actually date Mexican and white, as opposed to the Chinese etc in LA who exclusively date white, so I guess it gives white men more options when they date out.
If you want a black man. Go to Southeast San Diego or South central LA, this is where 95% of black people in southern california live, and 99% of them are dating only black people.
If you want other races, then San Diego. I would say LA, but LA is very flaky if you want marriage. LOTS of wannabe actresses etc. It's hard to find a "good man" in la beacuse they are all players mostly on the west side. If you're black east side has mexican gagns so no. so a "good man" is sought after by many many women of all races. I know a white guy, model, degree from USC, rich family, at one point he was juggling 17 women. All 'wannabe models' white latina and Asian. LA is one of the most segregated cities in America, it's not harmounious when it comes to races. It's segregated to the point that Asians have their own "Beverly Hills." If you see a lot of black women and white men couples on Santa Monica or venice beach, once again, that is most liekly because she is one of few black women there. If you can afford to live there, then yes, I would try that.
But anywhere in U.S is better than OC for blacks lol. Even the south and boston.
I know you aren't comfortable with online dating, but I truly feel it is perfect for people in "low density" situations. Example would be gay people mixed into typical suburban neighborhoods. People with specific but relatively rare desires in partners.
If somehow you could feel comfortable chatting up someone online and meeting in a safe public place, I think it would serve you very well. I know there are lots of flakes, but have a system to weed them out. Learn to accept a failed meeting as not wasting time, and invest little in the first date. Potential dating partners are in the same boat you are, and I am certain there are some good people out there.
I grew up in San Jose back in the 80's and then moved to South Cal in the 90's and realized as a BW, I was invisible even though I am friendly, open to other cultures,have a great smile, 115lbs and 5'4'. The cultures I grew up around never showed me any love beyond friendship. I finally met someone who was a transplant working in CA who took notice. I think due to the large Mexican and immigrant cultures they tend to like the exotic look of their own women like the long black hair and exotic eyes. I have heard if you move to CA as a BW bring your husband, partner, boyfriend with you because men will ignore you in Cali. When I finally moved to the Midwest is when I became visible again and got attention from WM and BM.
I find the White guys with a partiality toward Black girls to be a small grouping indeed. That's not to say more White guys don't find Black girls attractive, it is just dealing with the other things e.g. violent Black males, the crime rate and drug usage. Enough to drive many , lets just say, gentle and many times hot White guys away forever.
Make no mistake, many a hot Black girl will eye a potential partner outside of their own race. The practical aspect to keeping that relationship, should never be completely ignored. The problem is , we need to hear more from the educated hard working Black community. All we seem to see and hear is the bad stuff. Yes, the high crime rate, the gangster culture, the rap lyrics, the cop hating, the school teacher beatings, the drug usage, and the list goes on.
When respectable and hard working Black folks, are there are many, would wrest the reins away from the thugs and gangster culture that pervades much of our daily lives, then we would be seeing far more hot Black girls with guys outside of their race in relationships. Until then , there needs to be a sea change in public perception formed by what the media feeds us regarding dating a Black female.
Wow! that seems kinda shallow that others base a whole perception of a race on what the media chooses to project. Just because I learned about slavery and have seen police shootings of unarmed black men, do I think all Caucasians are prejudice or biased.
Hey OP, You could try a dating service. Don't laugh they can work just make sure it's one that has standards. I met my wife at one 23yrs ago so I know it's possible.
I agree with some others... most of the interracial parings seem to be between white men and asian women and to a lesser extent mexican women. Other pairings seem rare.
I grew up in San Jose back in the 80's and then moved to South Cal in the 90's and realized as a BW, I was invisible even though I am friendly, open to other cultures,have a great smile, 115lbs and 5'4'. The cultures I grew up around never showed me any love beyond friendship. I finally met someone who was a transplant working in CA who took notice. I think due to the large Mexican and immigrant cultures they tend to like the exotic look of their own women like the long black hair and exotic eyes. I have heard if you move to CA as a BW bring your husband, partner, boyfriend with you because men will ignore you in Cali. When I finally moved to the Midwest is when I became visible again and got attention from WM and BM.
Hey! Glad to hear from a fellow bw in this thread!
I had completely forgotten I even started this thread lol.
Is San Jose totally different from Southern CA? If so, in which way? (I've never been)
YES, I agree with you, the culture is definitely different out here. I too feel "invisible" as well, but I feel invisible to EVERYONE....men, women, children lol. I find that sounthern Californians are friendly, but you have to go out of your WAY to talk to them and strike up a conversation more so than you do on the East Coast. Whereas on the east coast, usually people strike up conversations randomly, or at least acknowledge you when you walk down the street or pass each other. Here, people seem to almost avoid eye-contact with you lol. Idk if people are just shy, afraid, or what. I used to think it was a "racial" thing (people aren't used to seeing a lot of black people in OC maybe?), but then when other friends of other various races started telling me that they get the same type of treatment from people, I started realizing that maybe it's just a "Southern California" thing. Or maybe it's just an "OC thing" and I need to get out of my bubble more lol.
It's more "community" based back on the east coast as well, so that may have something to do with it. There's a lot of history over there. People have ancestors who have lived there for hundreds of years. Out here, I don't think there's a strong sense of community. People are nice, but not going to be initiators. In other words, once you talk to them, they are friendly, but they're not going to go out of their way to try to talk to you or get to know you. Even at parties sometimes.
In fact, many people here have told me that they can tell I'm from some place else because I'm so "friendly", "warm" and "open", and that this is just not really the case out here. Seems people find it hard to trust people out here or something. Like, people stay to themselves or their cliques, and if they don't know you, then they are afraid to get to know you. I can't quite put my finger on it, but that's the vibe I get.
Idk if that's how it is in LA as well, but it's definitely like that here in OC. I find it challenging just to make friends out here. I have heard locals echo the same sentiment. I have made some really good friends since moving out here, but if I were new to the East coast and had spent the same amount of time on the East coast, I would have made 10x more friends by now. I think people are just more generally interested in other people back where I'm from on the East coast.
Here people seem like: "I don't know you....and I don't care to know you...." lol....
Idk...might be just the vibe I'm picking up on, but even locals and those born and raised here say the same thing.
And yes, the guys are definitely different out here lol. I can go to another state and get tons of attention from guys of all races, but out here, it's almost like I don't even exist. Or, sometimes I'll get the impression that a guy is interested (great conversation, good signs, etc), and I'll be flirting, giving out interested signals.......but he won't make a move! Almost like guys expect girls to chase after them out here or something. It's really strange lol.
It's sad that it seems so superficial out here ..... Idk, maybe SD and LA are different though....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother1
Hey OP, You could try a dating service. Don't laugh they can work just make sure it's one that has standards. I met my wife at one 23yrs ago so I know it's possible.
Lol....I won't knock online dating completely.....I might try it a little later on if I reach my breaking point, but typically I do prefer to meet guys the "old fashioned way" in person. I just feel like there's so much less pressure, you can immediately tell that they are a real person, and not someone faking to be someone else behind a computer screen, etc.
I'm actually supposed to be meeting a guy that an older couple that I know of wants to hook me up with. I might be meeting him this weekend! So, we'll see!
Last edited by Sunny_View; 06-29-2016 at 03:34 PM..
Sunny_View thanks for starting this thread I thought I was the ONLY one! I agree with everything that Mcgregor_Show stated and I feel the same way you do! I work in LA and I still feel "invisible", but even my girlfriends that live int he city say that they are having trouble. Yes, LA is full of players, very flakey people. My hope is to find a transplant, someone that lives here but wasn't raised here. I sent you a PM, as I too live in North OC but I'm on the border of LA County so it's not too bad.
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And thanks for the compliment. 
I think we have the same exact "theory", that people are typically attracted to who/what they are exposed to the MOST. So very true. Although, I have seen some instances where someone "new" or "exotic" comes to a new town, and people flock to them because they're actually DIFFERENT from "the norm". Some people are actually attracted to those who are different from what they see each and everyday. So I guess it just depends honestly. 
Idk, maybe SD and LA are different though....
