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I find the White guys with a partiality toward Black girls to be a small grouping indeed. That's not to say more White guys don't find Black girls attractive, it is just dealing with the other things e.g. violent Black males, the crime rate and drug usage. Enough to drive many , lets just say, gentle and many times hot White guys away forever.
Make no mistake, many a hot Black girl will eye a potential partner outside of their own race. The practical aspect to keeping that relationship, should never be completely ignored. The problem is , we need to hear more from the educated hard working Black community. All we seem to see and hear is the bad stuff. Yes, the high crime rate, the gangster culture, the rap lyrics, the cop hating, the school teacher beatings, the drug usage, and the list goes on.
When respectable and hard working Black folks, are there are many, would wrest the reins away from the thugs and gangster culture that pervades much of our daily lives, then we would be seeing far more hot Black girls with guys outside of their race in relationships. Until then , there needs to be a sea change in public perception formed by what the media feeds us regarding dating a Black female.
I dated a black girl for a few months back in NY. Never had a problem with her or her family. They were definitely not Oreos, but were Well educated, funny, sincere and genuine and far away from living the thug life. I liked her parents taste in music, didn't like her brothers. I'm still friends with her almost 30 years later.
The Puerto Rican girl i dated was cool, so were her parents, but her brothers were real jerks. I was never intimidated by them (I was in much better shape than they were in) but the snide (non-joking) racist remarks were pretty bogus.
San Diego. I see black female white male everday. Even latino male and black female.
I wouldn't recommend Los Angeles or OC, both seem open but they are not. "Interracial" is basically limited to white men with Asian and Mexican women. Unless you happen to have A LOT of money and live in the very white area of LA.
White male black female pairings don't get a lot of hate. Sure people will stare but no one is going to be racist to you when the guy is there. The opposite pairing not so much.
Southern California is very white washed. Regardless of what people say Black-white marriages are most harmonous in the South, where they are used to each other.
In California, with latinos, south Americans, arabs, Asians, Indians, and European immigrants, there is a clear racial hierarchy. You might have to deal with "we're not white but better than you" from ALL.
When people say every black man is dating out of his race in California, that's not even close to being true. California is the one place where blacks are constantly in the hood. Even in San Francisco. There are probably only a few places in Caliofrnia where blacks don't live in ghettos. So if you see a black man or woman in a predominantly white area, mostly like they are have some money which means better dating options. How come you picked OC? OC is VERY republican. Southern California and most of North is very whitewashed. Most races are trying to be white per se. Some races can achieve this status. Others simply cannot. I have noticed white men are way more open to dating black women now. But even in San Diego, blacks live in the Southeast, so when you see black woman or all black women in north San Diego dating a white man, that's only like 2% of the black population in San Diego. But yeah San Diego, lots of white men and black female couples.
OP: What is it specifically about Orange County that makes black males here uninterested in dating black females but interested in all other women, especially white women?
Last edited by LuvSouthOC; 04-19-2016 at 07:57 PM..
I think the biggest issue is that OC is only 1 - 2 percent black, you are a true minority.
But on the other hand, most of the people I know in OC are very open minded and don't care what race a person is.
My circle of friends is very open, lots of interracial and mixed faith couples.
Its even more apparent when you walk by a college or High school and see that most groups of friends are about as diversified as the UN. Race really isn't an issue for most people under 40.
You have to put yourself out there. Nobody is going to come to you if they don't know who you are. Clubs, Teams, Churches, Meet-up groups. Even Match.com - where I met my wife (because most of the women in my sport club, and graphic design group are either married or gay).
Yes, I think the main thing is that there aren't a lot of blacks here in OC to begin with, so perhaps some don't even know how to come across to bw. If all you see of bw is what is portrayed in media, then you will have a very false and skewed idea indeed.
But as a whole I know OC gets a bad rap on the racial issue, but so far I haven't had any negative experiences. Aside from the lack of dating prospects (or even attention) out here in the area, I personally haven't experienced any negative or even any racial issues towards myself or even others. People seem to be pretty open-minded here. Now whether they really are or not is probably up for debate. But if they are prejudiced, they seem to keep it to themselves. There are a LOT worse areas in the US where racial tensions run high as far as I'm concerned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by scirocco
I find the White guys with a partiality toward Black girls to be a small grouping indeed. That's not to say more White guys don't find Black girls attractive, it is just dealing with the other things e.g. violent Black males, the crime rate and drug usage. Enough to drive many , lets just say, gentle and many times hot White guys away forever.
Make no mistake, many a hot Black girl will eye a potential partner outside of their own race. The practical aspect to keeping that relationship, should never be completely ignored. The problem is , we need to hear more from the educated hard working Black community. All we seem to see and hear is the bad stuff. Yes, the high crime rate, the gangster culture, the rap lyrics, the cop hating, the school teacher beatings, the drug usage, and the list goes on.
When respectable and hard working Black folks, are there are many, would wrest the reins away from the thugs and gangster culture that pervades much of our daily lives, then we would be seeing far more hot Black girls with guys outside of their race in relationships. Until then , there needs to be a sea change in public perception formed by what the media feeds us regarding dating a Black female.
And see that's what is so sad. My whole entire family is made up of well-educated, professional, God-fearing, friendly, upstanding citizens. None of us have done drugs or gone to prison, and we certainly don't have a "thug" mentality. If anything I was raised upper middle class (not that this should make a difference anyway), but it's sad that due to some of the few "bad" that ruin it for the good, as well as media oversaturation of the same old "rhetoric", people just assume that black = thug, drugs, crime, violence, etc. SMH.
That is SO far from the truth. I have several black friends and family members who don't fit this description at ALL and never will. It's sad that it's an automatic assumption though. Smh....
Quote:
Originally Posted by DinsdalePirahna
I dated a black girl for a few months back in NY. Never had a problem with her or her family. They were definitely not Oreos, but were Well educated, funny, sincere and genuine and far away from living the thug life. I liked her parents taste in music, didn't like her brothers. I'm still friends with her almost 30 years later.
The Puerto Rican girl i dated was cool, so were her parents, but her brothers were real jerks. I was never intimidated by them (I was in much better shape than they were in) but the snide (non-joking) racist remarks were pretty bogus.
And see, this is how MOST of the black people I knew and grew up with were. It's not an anomaly. In fact, I'd venture to say that there are more of THESE types of black people than there are the kinds portrayed on the news. In fact, the news is only showing a very SMALL percentage of people who commit crimes. If I went by everything I saw on the news or portrayed around me and in the media, I would have a very distorted view of a LOT of people actually.
It's just sad that people assume that a few bad apples make up the entire race, and that's just so not true at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by McGregorShow
San Diego. I see black female white male everday. Even latino male and black female.
I wouldn't recommend Los Angeles or OC, both seem open but they are not. "Interracial" is basically limited to white men with Asian and Mexican women. Unless you happen to have A LOT of money and live in the very white area of LA.
White male black female pairings don't get a lot of hate. Sure people will stare but no one is going to be racist to you when the guy is there. The opposite pairing not so much.
Southern California is very white washed. Regardless of what people say Black-white marriages are most harmonous in the South, where they are used to each other.
In California, with latinos, south Americans, arabs, Asians, Indians, and European immigrants, there is a clear racial hierarchy. You might have to deal with "we're not white but better than you" from ALL.
When people say every black man is dating out of his race in California, that's not even close to being true. California is the one place where blacks are constantly in the hood. Even in San Francisco. There are probably only a few places in Caliofrnia where blacks don't live in ghettos. So if you see a black man or woman in a predominantly white area, mostly like they are have some money which means better dating options. How come you picked OC? OC is VERY republican. Southern California and most of North is very whitewashed. Most races are trying to be white per se. Some races can achieve this status. Others simply cannot. I have noticed white men are way more open to dating black women now. But even in San Diego, blacks live in the Southeast, so when you see black woman or all black women in north San Diego dating a white man, that's only like 2% of the black population in San Diego. But yeah San Diego, lots of white men and black female couples.
Yes, San Diego (for some reason) seems a LOT more open when it comes to IR dating than OC for some reason. I still don't get why. San Diego is a lot LESS diverse (imo) and seems more "affluent" and "uppity" than Orange County, but I could be wrong. Maybe that's just my perception as an outsider.
Thanks for the geographical information.
Why do you say LA as well is not as "open" as it appears? I've been to LA quite often, and it seems to be a LOT more diverse than OC and I definitely see more bw getting more "love" lol out there. Probably not as much as the East Coast, but definitely better than the OC area.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvSouthOC
OP: What is it specifically about Orange County that makes black males here uninterested in dating black females but interested in all other women, especially white women?
I have no idea! That is something you would have to ask black males, because I'm asking the same question you are!
San Diego. I see black female white male everday. Even latino male and black female.
I wouldn't recommend Los Angeles or OC, both seem open but they are not. "Interracial" is basically limited to white men with Asian and Mexican women. Unless you happen to have A LOT of money and live in the very white area of LA.
White male black female pairings don't get a lot of hate. Sure people will stare but no one is going to be racist to you when the guy is there. The opposite pairing not so much.
Southern California is very white washed. Regardless of what people say Black-white marriages are most harmonous in the South, where they are used to each other.
In California, with latinos, south Americans, arabs, Asians, Indians, and European immigrants, there is a clear racial hierarchy. You might have to deal with "we're not white but better than you" from ALL.
When people say every black man is dating out of his race in California, that's not even close to being true. California is the one place where blacks are constantly in the hood. Even in San Francisco. There are probably only a few places in Caliofrnia where blacks don't live in ghettos. So if you see a black man or woman in a predominantly white area, mostly like they are have some money which means better dating options. How come you picked OC? OC is VERY republican. Southern California and most of North is very whitewashed. Most races are trying to be white per se. Some races can achieve this status. Others simply cannot. I have noticed white men are way more open to dating black women now. But even in San Diego, blacks live in the Southeast, so when you see black woman or all black women in north San Diego dating a white man, that's only like 2% of the black population in San Diego. But yeah San Diego, lots of white men and black female couples.
Judge a country by its Prison system. In the United States, grade each state by it's own Prison system. In California, once the facade of false smiles, big promises and fake attitudes is taken away, we see the state for what it is worth. Sadly, the reality of life in California is far from the endless sunshine and love many associate with the state. Take the prison system. One of the harshest and most brutal in the land. We a see a microcosm of real California in the jails and prisons. Where in other states, joining a gang is optional , in California it is mandatory due to the crucible like atmosphere in many prisons. The rules are hard and clear to understand. You stay with your own race. Period. Toe the line and you have a better chance of survival.
Surprised ?......shocked even?....well it is the truth of life in California. Not far removed from life in general here. Racial lines are distinct and clear. Many will be let known of the disapproval towards dating outside your race. Again, this is not the deep south. Maybe, in fact it is worse in many ways.
Was it a step too far to expect so many racial groups to coexist in peace and harmony under the blue skies and endless sunshine in California?. The alarmingly high rates for incarceration would suggest all is not so well in the Golden State.
- I live in San Francisco, yes that liberal mecca by the bay. In my 26 years living here, seeing a Black woman and a White guy is such a rarity, many would actually stop for a while and take another look.
Interestingly enough, White male and Asian female pairings have become par for the course here. Nothing unusual at all in that regard.
For all those Black ladies out there, who just can not understand why White guys keep a bit more distance and are reticent in general. It is not you. It is just the culture, with less emphasis on decency and civility toward people inside and outside your own race. Shame really. Because there are some really sweet Black girls out there who would love to share their love.
My POV as a white man married to a black man... people are sexually attracted to the types of people who surround them. I grew up in a 99% white suburb and never had any attraction to anything but white guys. Then I joined the military and was surrounded by all races, and many black men. After that, I realized I was then also attracted to black men (and other non-whites). My guess is that in an area like OC where there are so few black people, many non-black men just haven't been exposed to black women enough to develop an attraction.
We lived in OC for 10 years and experienced a little prejudice for being a gay couple, but race didn't seem to be an issue. We ended up having kids via surrogacy (and chose to have biracial kids) and left OC because we didn't think it would be a good place for a gay couple to raise biracial kids.
But hang in there... you sound like a good catch for someone!
I'm not originally from CA (actually I was born and raised on the East Coast), and I'm a black woman who is open to dating ALL types of guys from various backgrounds (race/ethnicity/color/culture doesn't really matter too much to me...I go for who the man is as a PERSON), BUT...I can't help but notice the stark CONTRAST with how I'm treated whenever I go back home to visit, vs how I am treated out here in this area (invisible). When I go back home I get hit on ALL the time. I never noticed how much more attention I got back home until I moved out here honestly. Out here, the men don't even make eye-contact with me it seems. I'm practically invisible. Even when smiling it's like people are afraid to look you in the eye or something lol. I know there aren't a lot of bw out here in OC (maybe the lack of dating choices is the reason why lol) and I know there isn't a high pop. of blacks here in general (about 2% last time I checked), but I mean seriously...we don't bite lol!
I just feel really invisible out here.....to ALL men (even black men unfortunately).
My guess is where you go "home to visit" is a city. If so, it's harder to compare it to OC, with OC being a suburb. My hunch is you'll have better prospects in LA. Look at the NYC mayor and his wife.
I'm from suburbia that was 98% white. One of the guys I sort of grew up with (he's somewhat older) is black and he married a white woman. I was at his wedding. They're still together twenty-something years later. All this is honest, btw.
I don't understand being invisible to black men, though I'm very far on being any kind of expert on relationships.
Last edited by curiousgeorge5; 04-22-2016 at 01:09 PM..
Reason: Add something.
The only reason why LA seems more open is because there are way more people in LA and san diego. If you do percentages, San Diego is better.
La is full of white women who want to marry rich. But it's not just white now lol I know a lot of Persian and Asian and even Latina women who do this now.
If you go to LA, if you go to where 99% of black people live aka south central long beach etc, they are all dating lack people. If you happen to see a black person in beverlyhills or maybe the valley, he or she is in the 2% of black people not counting celebrities, so obviously dating white has a higher chance than dating black.
The only difference between O.C and LA is the beach communities in LA are more "hollywood" so you will see more interracial. San Diego is known to seperate itself from LA and OC.
My POV as a white man married to a black man... people are sexually attracted to the types of people who surround them. I grew up in a 99% white suburb and never had any attraction to anything but white guys. ........ My guess is that in an area like OC where there are so few black people, many non-black men just haven't been exposed to black women enough to develop an attraction.
We lived in OC for 10 years and experienced a little prejudice for being a gay couple, but race didn't seem to be an issue. We ended up having kids via surrogacy (and chose to have biracial kids) and left OC because we didn't think it would be a good place for a gay couple to raise biracial kids.
But hang in there... you sound like a good catch for someone!
Thanks for sharing your experiences and point of view. And thanks for the compliment. I think we have the same exact "theory", that people are typically attracted to who/what they are exposed to the MOST. So very true. Although, I have seen some instances where someone "new" or "exotic" comes to a new town, and people flock to them because they're actually DIFFERENT from "the norm". Some people are actually attracted to those who are different from what they see each and everyday. So I guess it just depends honestly.
I agree that maybe OC is probably not the best place for an interracial gay couple raising a biracial child. I've never experienced any discrimination (to my knowledge), but I DO know that OC is VERY conservative. Much more conservative than I realized before moving out here lol. But if you got a "vibe" from the area, then by all means, I don't blame you for moving.
Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousgeorge5
My guess is where you go "home to visit" is a city. If so, it's harder to compare it to OC, with OC being a suburb. My hunch is you'll have better prospects in LA. Look at the NYC mayor and his wife.
Haha! Actually I'm from the Suburbs lol. In fact, SoCal is much more "urban" than anywhere I've lived in my life to be honest. But I did grow up on the East coast, so even though I grew up in suburbia I had access to a major city about 30-35 minutes away. So it wasn't completely the sticks lol.
I just think the main difference is that on the East coast there's more black people in general, so IR dating and bw dating black AND other race men is pretty common back where I'm from because there's SO many more bw and black people in general.
So I'm honestly thinking (as another poster mentioned) that because of the few population of blacks in OC, and black women ESPECIALLY in OC, some men just haven't even been around bw long enough to even develop an attraction or get to know us.
Also, if the OC area is ultra conservative (as I'm suspecting), I can see why this has made some groups/demographics/those who have an alternative lifestyle shy away somewhat. I'm thinking it might be even a little tough for a gay or lesbian individual to find "love" out here in OC, so I'm sure it's not just bw noticing a difference. Not saying there aren't some who live out here (there are), but it might be a tad tougher in all honesty, as opposed to going to areas that are more gay friendly. I actually saw more openly gay individuals back where I'm from. I'm sure it's more "open" in LA.
Now as far as bm are concerned...I have no idea what's going on there. But there's a definite DIFFERENCE between bm on the west coast and bm on the east coast. It's a subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by McGregorShow
The only reason why LA seems more open is because there are way more people in LA and san diego. If you do percentages, San Diego is better......................The only difference between O.C and LA is the beach communities in LA are more "hollywood" so you will see more interracial. San Diego is known to seperate itself from LA and OC.
Very interesting... Why is this?
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And thanks for the compliment. 
I think we have the same exact "theory", that people are typically attracted to who/what they are exposed to the MOST. So very true. Although, I have seen some instances where someone "new" or "exotic" comes to a new town, and people flock to them because they're actually DIFFERENT from "the norm". Some people are actually attracted to those who are different from what they see each and everyday. So I guess it just depends honestly. 
