Should I stay or should I go? ... leave OC for Ohio? (Joshua Tree: rent, quality of life)

[Count David]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

Has anyone else had a similar situation where you were happy in your career and making good money, but decided to leave just to be closer to family? (and took a job with less pay and less enjoyable)

No, I have only done the opposite.

[HB2HSV]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

Has anyone else had a similar situation where you were happy in your career and making good money, but decided to leave just to be closer to family? (and took a job with less pay and less enjoyable)

Geeze, now that you phrase it that way, my recommendation is DO NOT GO BACK!!!

What is the point to be closer to your family but you are MISERABLE? If you are not happy you will resent your family because the “make” you go back, though the reality is nobody makes you do anything you don’t want to.

Stay in LA until your career hits bottom, then maybe then you’ll realize what’s really important in life. By that time, Peggy Sue has married someone else and had his children. Mom & Dad are long gone, and where will you be?

[CA4Now]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

I don't want to live in LA or OC long term. I don't want to get married or raise a family here. I've dated and even tho the women are gorgeous, they are all waiting for the next best thing. I'd like to find someone with depth and someone that has similar values - which is hard in LA. If i do get married and have kids I'd want them to be around my family in Ohio.

You answered your question. Go back. No amount of money you make here--or anywhere--will make a difference, then.

[zeekosu]

Originally Posted by HB2HSV

Geeze, now that you phrase it that way, my recommendation is DO NOT GO BACK!!!

What is the point to be closer to your family but you are MISERABLE? If you are not happy you will resent your family because the “make” you go back, though the reality is nobody makes you do anything you don’t want to.

Stay in LA until your career hits bottom, then maybe then you’ll realize what’s really important in life. By that time, Peggy Sue has married someone else and had his children. Mom & Dad are long gone, and where will you be?

Yea, the job in Ohio isn't miserable - it's just not as challenging or rewarding as my current job in LA. Both choices kind of suck - there is loss and sacrifice with both. I'm not good accepting the loss of either decision. I think both decisions will have some level of regret in the future. I just want to figure out which one I would regret the least and do that one. ...still not sure which one that is.

It's either move back and be near family (with only slightly less pay and job satisfaction) or...
Stay for another 4 years in California and take a risk that my company will be successful, making my equity worth millions. Although, I'd be sacrificing 4 years of being near family.

[Finper]

Can you work remote? Winters here, summers there?

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

Yea, the job in Ohio isn't miserable - it's just not as challenging or rewarding as my current job in LA. Both choices kind of suck - there is loss and sacrifice with both. I'm not good accepting the loss of either decision. I think both decisions will have some level of regret in the future. I just want to figure out which one I would regret the least and do that one. ...still not sure which one that is.

It's either move back and be near family (with only slightly less pay and job satisfaction) or...
Stay for another 4 years in California and take a risk that my company will be successful, making my equity worth millions. Although, I'd be sacrificing 4 years of being near family.

If money is the main issue, your family will be better of with you in CA.

Money is not that important overall.

[zeekosu]

Originally Posted by expatCA

If money is the main issue, your family will be better of with you in CA.

Money is not that important overall.

My family is in Ohio. Do you mean if money isn't that important I should just move back to Ohio to be close to family?

[pacific2]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

My current situation:
-35 yrs old and single (but id like to get married someday)
-live in OC, work in LA
-job pays 155k per year
-job is small startup, good job, fun but sometimes long hours.
-since it's a startup you never know how long it'll stay in business based on how much investor funding is raised
-have some equity in the company. It'll take 4 yrs to vest but could potentially be worth about 2 million (if things are successful and there's an ipo - could take 10 years for this to happen, or it may never happen)
-no family or friends in California
-all my family and friends are back in Ohio

Potential opp in Ohio
-my previous employer is chomping at the bit to hire me back
-job pay potentially 120k per year
-job not as exciting as job in California
-regular hours, potential to work from home once in a while
-my family and friends are all there

When I took this job in California my goal was to stay 4 yrs, collect my equity and move back near family in ohio. I'd eventually like to put my money into things that generate passive income (like purchasing some small businesses or some subways), and then also do contract work on the side. I do have 600k worth of stock in a previous company i worked for. So that money would help with that. However, the potential to make over 2 million with this current startup is appealing. The downside is that it could happen in as short as 4 yrs, as long as 10 years, or it could not happen at all.

So, I'm not sure which direction is the best for my future goals. Any advice would be super helpful.

Thanks!

No one can make that decision for you. BTW, are you sure you are not just "homesick?" If so, your longings and rosy memories may be somewhat driven by that.

Why not try spending an entire month with your family in Ohio? That experience might help you to decide one way or another because you would find that they, and your friends, have their own lives/routines; and, as important as family is, they probably function very well without you. You may also find yourself coping with a crushing sense of boredom during that month.

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

My family is in Ohio. Do you mean if money isn't that important I should just move back to Ohio to be close to family?

Yes. Money has importance but when it is the first thing it puts the family at best in 2nd place and likely further back than that. You were doing well there.

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by pacific2

No one can make that decision for you. BTW, are you sure you are not just "homesick?" If so, your longings and rosy memories may be somewhat driven by that.

Why not try spending an entire month with your family in Ohio? That experience might help you to decide one way or another because you would find that they, and your friends, have their own lives/routines; and, as important as family is, they probably function very well without you. You may also find yourself coping with a crushing sense of boredom during that month.

That is not a bad idea as things can change dramatically when someone is gone for a bit and the experience might help decide which is best for now. I doubt that family has changed but the friends may well have made changes that leave him out now.