Irvine or LA for a single mom? (San Diego, Sacramento: city hall, rent)

[InSearchofSomethingMore]

Hi everyone,

I'm a single mom of a toddler living in Calgary. We are both mixed-race and looking for somewhere to move with more liberal mindsets, where different social identities can just live nicely together. Calgary is definitely getting worse with it's weekly anti-masker "freedom" walks and trump rallies (no, it makes no sense, he's not even running for anything in Canada), etc. Name any marginalized social identity and there will be some general sentiment against it. It is a very clean city, clean water, clean air, good infrastructure, great nature, good schools and kids' programs. But socio-culturally, if you want to live in the past, this is the place for you. The weather also sucks with winters lasting 8 months, during which time it's so cold that you can't even enjoy winter sports or anything. Well, at least it's not working for me. We have looked into moving to Toronto, which is a realistic possibility, but it is also cold (although not nearly as cold as Calgary). CA weather is definitely appealing. Because of my field, I will be able to find a job in CA and make about 100K USD which is not much by California standards (and I have had a few job offers already). In terms of mindsets, I would say Bay Area towns like Berkeley would fit us perfectly although it's very rundown there and super expensive. In terms of quality of life and safety for us, I thought Irvine would be perfect. But I know OC is the most conservative in the state which is exactly what we want to escape. But it's changing? So I thought maybe LA could offer a mix of everything that we would ideally need? But LA's schools are pretty bad eh? So overall, I am thinking Irvine or Toronto. But the weather and opportunities to be more active and enjoy the outdoors are definitely better in CA. I have been to all the cities I am considering and loved them all for different reasons. If any single parents out there have any advice/suggestions on what it's like to live there, please let me know

[TimTheEnchanter]

You are definitely better off in Irvine than Westwood. You'll get better schools and a better lifestyle. Ditto for UCI over Berkeley, for the same reasons.

[Starbar]

I second Irvine. LA is not a place I would recommend raising children. The schools are overcrowded and there is a lot of crime. On the other hand, Irvine is often voted the safest city in the country, with amazing schools. You could probably get a condo on your budget but don't expect to buy a house. Orange County is not that conservative compared to many areas of rural California like the Central Valley. It's really more of a libertarian type of conservative, people tend to vote Republican because they don't want higher taxes. That has changed however, as OC went democrat in the last 2 elections, probably due to LA people moving there. Irvine does have certain areas with a lot of very religious people, but most people are pretty live and let live. Orange County has all sorts of people and tend to be more politically moderate regardless of how they vote, and overall people are pretty polite and classy, sometimes a bit fake friendly though, but that's common on the west coast as a whole.
Have you thought about San Diego?

[timtemtym]

Irvine is fine and super diverse. We lived near City Hall when Covid started. We walk about 4-5 miles each day (lots of great parks and trails. It is great if you are a health conscious person). We did see the anti-masks protests by city hall. It made big news, but honestly it was just a bunch of old people standing on the corner yelling about masks. They weren't yelling racist stuff and we had no issues with them except for one woman who got too close to us and screamed, "We are VERY PEACEFUL! VERY PEACEFUL!" I laughed and she turned her back on me. That was it.

We moved to Texas over the summer and we deeply regret it and are ready to get back to California (this time close to the Sacramento area). Irvine is known for great schools and parents get involved in the schools which is the number 1 way to make schools better. Where I taught in LA, we literally had to bring food and have the kids put on a show to get parents to campus so we could engage with them. But those parents were working multiple jobs to pay the rent so I don't blame them. In Irvine there is much higher engagement.

100k salary will pay your rent, but here's the important difference. You might be able to get a 2 bedroom in both Irvine and LA, but the place in LA will be smaller and older with shared laundry and a parking spot that you have to fight for (I had to have cars towed out of my spots many times over the years).

In Irvine you'll get something newer (with earthquake support and a sprinkler system in your unit in case of fire). You'll have a big parking garage or open lot where you can just pull into a spot and go to your home without arguing with people. You'll get something quieter and closer to walking trails and parks without stepping around people sleeping in tents. It is a slower pace of life down there while still being a big city. We loved walking trails to the grocery store and restaurants. Irvine is diverse, but it's mostly white and Asian with middle eastern populations as well. Closer to Santa Ana or Tustin you'll find more of a latino presence.

OC has lots of good qualities. We miss the airport there. It is so easy to use and the baggage claim is one of the fastest we've ever seen (We fly 2-3 trips per month so that's important for us, maybe not important for you though).

[Racer46]

Yes Irvine would be best. I have lived in both OC and LA Counties and no question about it, chose Irvine. My brother and I grew up in OC and racism was a minimal issue and other than in a very few spots in older areas, it is a non issue now. Most are far more interested in other things than race.

[InSearchofSomethingMore]

Thank you so much for such detailed info so far!! This is very helpful! Irvine does sound amazing and is the place where I actually got a job offer. I haven't applied to anywhere in LA, but began to wonder if it was going to be a better option. Sounds like Irvine is definitely a much better choice! And yes, southern Alberta where we are is considered to be the Texas of Canada (not as diverse as Texas though).

[InSearchofSomethingMore]

Originally Posted by Starbar

Orange County has all sorts of people and tend to be more politically moderate regardless of how they vote, and overall people are pretty polite and classy, sometimes a bit fake friendly though, but that's common on the west coast as a whole.
Have you thought about San Diego?

Haha, fake friendly sounds pretty Canadian, so we are used to that :P I have thought about San Diego, but I never really spent any substantial amount of time there for me to know what it's really like. I have had short work contracts in LA before (and in the Bay Area) so a bit more familiar with the vibes of those places. We visited Irvine for 3 weeks before the pandemic just to check it out as I was scooping out places to move and knew I was going to be applying for some positions there. But honestly, everywhere on the internet there are so many great things written about Irvine, and it's great to get confirmation from the general public on here. It's more like now that I have gotten some job offers, I have started to second guess myself because I do have a child so want to make sure I don't end up messing up our life instead. But honestly, I think it will be a move for the better! It's getting to be too crazy over in our neck of the woods.

[Racer46]

Originally Posted by InSearchofSomethingMore

Haha, fake friendly sounds pretty Canadian, so we are used to that :P I have thought about San Diego, but I never really spent any substantial amount of time there for me to know what it's really like. I have had short work contracts in LA before (and in the Bay Area) so a bit more familiar with the vibes of those places. We visited Irvine for 3 weeks before the pandemic just to check it out as I was scooping out places to move and knew I was going to be applying for some positions there. But honestly, everywhere on the internet there are so many great things written about Irvine, and it's great to get confirmation from the general public on here. It's more like now that I have gotten some job offers, I have started to second guess myself because I do have a child so want to make sure I don't end up messing up our life instead. But honestly, I think it will be a move for the better! It's getting to be too crazy over in our neck of the woods.

What does your child think about it? That is important. At such a young age it may be meaningless, but if family is close to you now, it can be important.

[InSearchofSomethingMore]

Originally Posted by Racer46

What does your child think about it? That is important. At such a young age it may be meaningless, but if family is close to you now, it can be important.

My son is 3. He's happy about being able to play on the beach and about being close to Disneyland haha. He thinks everything will be the same as now, but we'll just get Disneyland and the beach on top of everything :P Another positive about California, is that you have transitional kindergarten over there. In Alberta, kids can only start school (kinder) at 5 and it is ONLY half days until Grade 1. daycare prices comparable with OC - very difficult for single parents.

[Racer46]

Originally Posted by InSearchofSomethingMore

My son is 3. He's happy about being able to play on the beach and about being close to Disneyland haha. He thinks everything will be the same as now, but we'll just get Disneyland and the beach on top of everything :P Another positive about California, is that you have transitional kindergarten over there. In Alberta, kids can only start school (kinder) at 5 and it is ONLY half days until Grade 1. daycare prices comparable with OC - very difficult for single parents.

Sounds like your son will enjoy it. I did growing up in OC near the beach.