Need help getting my teenager adjust to the OC when we move (Santa Ana: appointed, homes)

[Humanoid]

Orange county is a pretty materialistic area, but its not filled with rich kids and things of that nature contrary to the other comments. There are a few "rich" areas (in reality they aren't very wealthy areas), but these are the exception not the rule. Orange County isn't Beverly Hills. The median household in Orange County makes $61k a year, so clearly not everyone is driving BMWs etc.

Anyhow, if you're current living in a metro area or close to a metro area then your daughter will probably fit in just fine. California is filled with transplants. If you are living in a smaller community then there may be some culture shock, the fashions etc are pretty different.

In OC the school tend to be fairly large and no group of kids stand out as popular due to there being so many students.

I wouldn't go this far, even though the schools are big there are still groups that are considered the "cool kids".

[Donn2390]

Originally Posted by EscapeCalifornia

So what are you doing in Apple Valley?

I lived in OC for over 50 years and loved every second of it. If I were still working, I would still be living there. I moved to the desert when I retired, to enjoy a little slower pace, but I still travel frequently to visit friends and family all over OC. One of the reasons we picked Apple Valley is because it is only an hour away from beautiful OC.
I am happy where ever I live. Your goal in life seems to bad mouth every place you have been, or heard of. I think you really need to "EscapeCalifornia"!
I want you to move to a place that makes you happy so we can hear good things from you..

[L-88]

Originally Posted by missionhome

Which city will you be living in or where will she be attending high school? There is a huge fluctuation is my opinion of the culture of schools and communities in Orange County with some areas more materialistic than others. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MATERIALISTIC. While there are kids that drive BMW's, the VAST majority do not. Most kids have a job, drive regular cars like a 1999 Corolla, buy regular clothes, etc... At a school like Laguna Beach High School, sure maybe a higher proportion of the kids are driving Range Rovers, but at most OC schools, the kids are just regular kids. If your daughter chooses her friends correctly she will be fine.

One thing I like about the size of high schools here in OC is there is not as big a heirarchy system. The children of my cousins in Indiana have said that there is still a major popular and unpopular system at their schools there and their kids are not popular and hate school because of hazing and such. The schools are smaller so everyone knows each other well and the athletes tend to "rule the school". In OC the school tend to be fairly large and no group of kids stand out as popular due to there being so many students. I think the jocks throwing the band kids in the trash cans doesn't happen here like it does back in Indianapolis. As long as your daughter is willing to be open she will be fine. She has to be the brave one. She can't expect to walk of campus and have ten people walk up to her and say "Welcome to our school, can I show you around!!!!" That WON'T happen. I know at my kid's school, they pass people they have never seen before or can't even remeber seeing everyday so most people won't even know she is new. If she is outgoing, she should find friends quickly. Sports, academic groups, school clubs, music groups, and other extracurriculars increase her opportunities to make new friends.

Best of luck, ask as many questions as possible in this important move.

Trabuco Hills HS has a program for new students. Kids in the PAL class take each new student on a tour of the campus and show them the ins and outs of the school. The new kids quickly find out there is someone they can go to if they need some help.

I have observed kids from other communities come to THHS, and they seem to quickly fit in. The kids are friendly as are the teachers. The school is a non-threatening environment to its school community. They do a great job with kids at that high school.

[Mach50]

Originally Posted by Nee Nee in Cali?

Hello everyone...

We are planning to move the OC sometime over the summer. I have a 16 year old daughter that is devistated that we are moving so far away.

What kind of things are there that might help her adjust to being a "California Girl"

As always, thanks for your help!

I believe you are moving from Kentucky right?
I will tell you right now, California kids can be quite brutal to Southerners (Just like Southerners don't take kindly to Californians).

California is most likely going to shock your child right now, I know jobs can be a great lure to CA but at her age you may want to just ride out the last 2 years of HS there, then send her off to college and then make your move to CA.

You need to consider that there are many things out here for a kid to do, the beach, mountains, malls...that can be a good thing. However, it can also make a good kid, bad as it can derail her education.

Now if she has thick skin, motivated in school, can handle the bullish kids and their attitudes then it might be good for her.
However, if it were my child I would stay and finish out HS there, especially if she is already devastated you are moving, expect a major whiplash IMO.

[missionhome]

I do agree that moving a child during high school can be a very bad move. I could not imagine moving my children during high school. If your daughter is fairly ingrained in her school too and her life there, it can be especially hard. Transition years are usually better, for example moving before freshman year, as opposed to in the middle of their high school career. I agree with Mach, if she is really upset about moving, she won't be happy anywhere you move. This isn't just a California thing, but if you were to move her to Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Texas, etc... your child will have to adjust. Even moving high schools in the same city can be a major adjustment, let alone half way across the country.

[denverian]

Originally Posted by Nee Nee in Cali?

Hello everyone...

We are planning to move the OC sometime over the summer. I have a 16 year old daughter that is devistated that we are moving so far away.

What kind of things are there that might help her adjust to being a "California Girl"

As always, thanks for your help!

First, get her hooked on drugs. Pot should be a good starting point. If she's at all smart, help her at least act dumb. She should have no geographical knowledge of anywhere outside Orange County, no political knowledge, and her entire brain should be focused on shopping, drugs, drinking, cell phones and her phony friends. You may need to get her a boob job and bleach her hair too. Oh, and tons of makeup and perfume will help her fit righ in. The pot will help her appear to be stupid as well.

Hope this helps - take my advice and you'll have an OC girl in no time

[mrwumpus]

I'm an OC native who likes OC in general.

Your daughter will not escape the Barbie girl body-image pressures in OC because it is predominant here. It's unavoidable. Every day I see Barbie moms who look and dress like their 15-yo daughters. It still makes me chuckle when I see them because at a certain distance you can't tell which is the mother. And they're all very skinny. I remember it starting in the 80s so these are second generation Barbie girls. In fact my wife and I are convinced that there is an actual OC gene that results in these tiny, wire frame girls. It is deeply ingrained here and girls who do not conform for genetic or personality reasons will suffer socially. Here, thin is eternally in. Even my wife, who does not look like Barbie, has trouble and pines to live in another state where it's OK to be a little overweight.

My four-year old daughter is already picking up on it. She's been begging me to let her pierce her ears because her friends in preschool are pierced and she's beginning to think that maybe being taller than her friends is bad. She also talks about the size of her eyes, though I think her Disney Princess obsession is more to blame for that. She also wonders why her friends have more toys and bigger rooms than she does. We figure girls have it tough enough so we're hoping to move to a state where looks and things are not the most important thing.

Also, this is just anecdotal, but my Jr. High and High School experience in OC (Buena Park and La Palma) had a lot of very cruel kids, at least verbally cruel. I remember seeing fat girls tormented to tears and the short-haired "different" girls tormented to tears. One family, who had the unfortunate last name of Zitnick, legally changed their last name when their son entered High School due to all the trouble it gave him in Jr. High and elementary. I assumed, and still think, that this is just normal everywhere, but my wife insists that her schools in Washington and Oregon were not like that. I'm not convinced but there it is for what it's worth. Maybe this has changed now?

All that to say, despite OC's obsession with looks and materialism there are some good people who have their priorities in a more ennobling order. I just think it's extra tough on girls here, especially those who as I said do not conform to the Barbie image and end up in the outcast crowd, who aren't helpful either.

[Donn2390]

I think you people are not understanding that, in today's modern world with the inner net, U-tube, cable TV, etc, that the "Barbie Doll" OC girl image is not restricted to Orange County, but is everywhere in the country.
There may be more examples in OC, because there is a much greater population, but be assured young girls all over the nation are watching MTV, U-tube, etc, and are emulating what they see. It doesn't matter if the girls are raised in Anaheim, or stuck away on a farm in the middle of nowhere, they are emulating everything they are exposed to in our vast electronic world.
I'm going to put my money on the ladies 16 year old daughter fitting in immediately, totally up to speed on the clothing styles, the talk, every facet of life in Orange County. There isn't a fence at the border keeping the rest of the country in the dark ages. Styles are the same everywhere. If the girl is friendly and outgoing, she will fit in perfectly in no time.

[slove1106]

Originally Posted by Nee Nee in Cali?

Hello everyone...

We are planning to move the OC sometime over the summer. I have a 16 year old daughter that is devistated that we are moving so far away.

What kind of things are there that might help her adjust to being a "California Girl"

As always, thanks for your help!

Well well. I'm in OC and actually moving TO Kentucky in the next couple years... (Cadiz) By the way, was in Cadiz for a week this month... Loved the place! I don't know why you'd want to leave such a beautiful state.

[New2Oro]

Originally Posted by Donn2390

I think you people are not understanding that, in today's modern world with the inner net, U-tube, cable TV, etc, that the "Barbie Doll" OC girl image is not restricted to Orange County, but is everywhere in the country.
There may be more examples in OC, because there is a much greater population, but be assured young girls all over the nation are watching MTV, U-tube, etc, and are emulating what they see. It doesn't matter if the girls are raised in Anaheim, or stuck away on a farm in the middle of nowhere, they are emulating everything they are exposed to in our vast electronic world.

Well said. I completely agree.