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Old 01-13-2009, 10:43 AM
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
23,552 posts, read 57,518,496 times
Reputation: 24415


Originally Posted by yo vanilla View Post
It's easy to make it work. The positive aspects of daycare are the social interactions of the kids. Otherwise for us, anyhow, my kids would have nearly no friends at all.

There's no right answer, there's too many situational factors. Not to point a finger, but I wonder about some of he things you listed. Extra cell phone line costs me $10/month. Housecleaning and dry cleaning? We do it ourselves. Pack our own lunches regardless; otherwise you're looking at spending a couple hundred a month on eating out and gaining weight from all that extra food anyhow. That goes to show that it's easy to spend way more money than is really neccessary! Further if we need to go to a doctor appt, school function, meet Joe the plumber, we leave work early that day or use some vacation time.

I can see the friends thing being a plus. Our kids had each other and loads of friends from church. Without that and only one kid, my wife would have gone crazy trying to keep a child occupied. One of the benfits of twins is that they occupy each other. Eventually she found other professional moms and met with them for play time and socializing, but it took a while. There are not a lot of stay at home moms in OC.

With me working 70 hours a week and my wife working 40 - 45, plus spending another 6 to 10 driving, we had no time for chores errands or house cleaning. Fortunately, in So Cal. housecleaning services are fairly inexpensive. Even the non-illegal ones have low prices becasue they are in competition withthe services that use illegal labor. We also ran into repeated problems when Joe the plumber or bob tehe builder said that he would arrive between 9 am and noon and did not show up until 3 p.m.

With one kid I can see it being workable. Two is getting difficult, when you get to three or more, forget it. Unless you have incredibly flexible employment, you will evnetually have to choose between work and being an involved parent. I go through times when I leave for work before anyone is awake and return after everyone is asleep. Fortunatly that is only occaisionaly and then I can usually take some time off to make up for it.

Some people we know choose work over invovled parenting and their kids got by ok. The kids are normal although not that strongly bonded to their parents. However, even if you make 40-50 K a year is it worth the net 10 to 20K to miss out on everything? If you are both making 100k plus and your lifestyle is dependant on that much income, there is really little choice. Luckily for us, my wife was only making $33,000. If she was making $100,000 plus, I do not think that we would have done it.
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Old 01-13-2009, 01:28 PM
Location: Orange County, California
1,017 posts, read 2,603,049 times
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You could always split your shifts like my husband and I did, and avoid childcare costs while both continue to work...
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