Raising kids in south Orange County (Santa Ana, Anaheim: home, landscaping, schools)

[leighland]

Originally Posted by OC Investor2

South OC is unique in that it the size of the affluent area is so big it is quite possible to live the vast majority of your life - and for school age kids, all there lives - inside this upper middle class bubble with no exposure to people in other circumstances. The kids might see a working class gardener doing the HOA lawn, but they probably won't go to school with their kid, be their friend or even play against him or her in a HS soccer tourney.

These are not the experiences of the vast amount of americans, but in South OC they are very common. With little exposure to others in different circumstances, they can become "the norm".

You should read the fight thats going on in the Northern Virginia forums over a school called Luther Jackson (its has many, possibly up to, 30% Hispanic and 18% Asian (Vietnamese, Chinese, etc..). Its all about the new White Flight avoiding non-white , non-upper middle class kids. Believe me, the rest of the nation is doing the same thing

[JohnG72]

Originally Posted by JMadison

Much better to be surrounded by BMW's and Mercedes than low riders and junkers.

Surround your kids with ghetto attitudes, and ghetto attitudes they will develop.
.

See, the problem is ....how do you define "ghetto"?

According to some OC posters, anything that isn't Irvine or pricier is "ghetto".

And thats were the nonsense starts.

I grew up in a staunchly mix neighborhood in Los Angeles, both ethnically and financially.

I am in my 30's now and still maintain contact with several(more than 10) of the friends I grew up with.

The common denominator I'm finding was not wealth growing up, but rather #1.) did the parents stick together, and #2.) what values were instilled in the kids.

In my situation, all went to college after high school with one exception, who went to college in his late 20's. In all but one case, the parents stayed together and did not get divorced.

Currently, all of the above make at least $40K a year, most make over $75K, one is independently wealthy through his work(I dunno what he makes, but I know what he owns), and one is a VP at a small company and makes $200K plus.

My younger brothers circle of friends mirrors my experience as well, with a few having even greater financial success than my group of friends.

I'm pretty sure the majority of OC posters would describe the area I grew up in...Rosemead/South San Gabriel/Montebello/Monterey Park....as ghetto. But I'd argue that there are absolutely no opportunities I would have gained growing up in South OC than what I had where I did grow up. Further, I'd argue that experiences growing up in South OC would probably have limited me as an adult in a great many ways.

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by matzoman

People want to party,get high, and zooted in Laguna Beach that is where you find all the real hard drug use. Lots of meth arrests, grow houses in little old tiki beach shacks, large scale drug busts in South Laguna. Just google Laguna Beach high school drug problem, I think it was listed the worst in the country. Drug culture in this town goes deep and way back to the sixties with the brotherhood. Kids have to be strong with an iron will to make it out. No joke, just because there is a beach in walking distance and shiny new cars it does not make it safe family land! The small town midwest sounds like a better option for you.

The "small town midwest" is NOT a sure thing either. I know that people like to think that it is as it sounds nice (Mayberry RFD, etc.); however, drug use/drug deaths are now part of small town America as much as anywhere else.

I am in my mid 40's with children ranging in age 25 to age 7. One of my good friends growing up lost a son to drug abuse several years ago. She was devestated/grief-stricken when I saw her and that was almost a year later. Several teen-agers from our local small town high school have also died of drug overdoses/accidents. One teen-age boy (age 14 - 9th grade) hung himself in his bedroom due to years of bullying at our local middle school. We live in an affluent, very homogenous, conservative, small town in NE OH. On the outside it looks like Mayberry RFD or as close as you can get to that image. There are still meth labs going in the recesses of small town America/suburbia; there is still bullying. Don't let the outside appearances kid you, nor should they kid anyone else nor should they lull anyone with a false sense of security or immunity to the drug issue, or the pressure teen-agers feel growing up.

P.S. There are shiny new cars here too, breast augmentations, plastic surgery, designer clothes, shoes, and handbags, fancy vacations, etc. and a lot of old money...maybe not beaches, but everything else that money can buy.

Some people need to get out more and realize that America's modern problems have infiltrated all parts of our country, that no part is immune. They need to realize that S. OC does not hold the inventory on the problems of raising children in today's day and age.

[Donna7]

[quote=OC Investor2;9292278]I do think OC is unique in its materialism and affluence. The difference v. many of the places named is the size of the zone or circle of affluence. As mentioned every major metro area has its tony precints and upscale suburbs that have many of the same issues as OC. However, in most of those other areas adults and most kids are exposed to other socio-economic spheres and people as they go about their everyday lives.

QUOTE]

I do NOT think that OC is unique in its materialism and affluence. Secondly, I am even MORE sure that adults and most kids in other areas are NOT exposed to other socio-economic spheres and people as they go about their everyday lives (as stated above). People tend to stay within their sphere of influence and they associate with people in their socio-economic group.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by Donna7

P.S. There are shiny new cars here too, breast augmentations, plastic surgery, designer clothes, shoes, and handbags, fancy vacations, etc. and a lot of old money...maybe not beaches, but everything else that money can buy.

I've written this myself several times. The least virtuous thing about OC isn't the materialism. It's the traffic and high housing costs (including taxes). But some people could legitimately counter those with job opportunities and great weather. With housing prices falling and falling and falling, that negative is becoming less of a problem.

[pecosbill]

I have 3 kids, 1, 7, 10 and I am planning to move to OC (probably Irvine...) I am coming from NJ (around Princeton)
As many post have said OC may not be alone in the "appearance" and show off race... I am coming from France and in France it is "bad" to have money... In the US people are proud of it and they want to show it. Difference in culture I guess. I believe that the "financial crisis" will get back some people a sense of humility and common sense...
In Princeton we have the very same type of kids that go for Lunch with designer bags in 50 USD place at 12 years old in Mom Escalante... Parents fault... Wrong values

My daughter turns 10 last week and we had 7 kids over with some great food, movie, sleep over etc... the girls love it has they spent a lot of time together, in my opinion much better than a 500 USD party for 2 hours in a restaurant or beauty salon... Much more work for the parents but great fun...
As far as culture in the US I may want my kids to be more open minded, cultured divers, outdoor , "green" (CA spirit ?) than have a bible, gun culture (no offense) where exclusion is of a different type...

I want my kids to be raised "outdoor" in a "green" mindset so California is a good option for us... My older daughter wants to be Marine Scientist...

Cheers
Pecosbill

[Charles]

Originally Posted by pecosbill

In Princeton we have the very same type of kids that go for Lunch with designer bags in 50 USD place at 12 years old in Mom Escalante... Parents fault... Wrong values

How about "relatively different" values? It's all relative.

If you have the money, what's wrong with buying things like Escalades or nice purses? That doesn't make someone bad.

Compared to kids in Tijuana or Havana or Pyongyang, your brand new Camry, cell phone, flat screen TV, and MP3 player are "wrong values".

[pecosbill]

Originally Posted by Charles

How about "relatively different" values? It's all relative.

If you have the money, what's wrong with buying things like Escalades or nice purses? That doesn't make someone bad.

Compared to kids in Tijuana or Havana or Pyongyang, your brand new Camry, cell phone, flat screen TV, and MP3 player are "wrong values".

Charles, must be right... values are all relatives, Lets say that I don't want my kids to experience 50 USD lunch in designer close at 11 years old and drive them around in a very earth unfriendly car... This is my values and my choice as a parent.
Would those kids become bad young adults... probably not.

[Mach50]

Originally Posted by JMadison

Materialism and Shallowness beat crime and poverty any day of the week.

I've lived in may metro areas across the country. South Orange County would be a top tier choice in my opinion.

Much better to be surrounded by BMW's and Mercedes than low riders and junkers.

Surround your kids with ghetto attitudes, and ghetto attitudes they will develop.

Don't know about you, but I'd rather have kids that aspire to "the good life" and realize it takes some effort and planning to get there, than believing if they shoot good hoops they might get into the NBA or worse attitudes for that matter.

Poverty sux. Wish there was a good cure for it for everyone.

Ahh and there we have the definition of the ORANGE CURTAIN.

While I agree, living in the ghetto will make kids ghetto for the most part, 'product of the environment'. I wouldn't raise my kids in an area where they have no sense of reality either, where the only time they talk to someone in poverty is when they are getting a big mac or getting the bimmer washed.

What happens when they have to leave sweet little, pristine, sterile (can't wash your own car) Irvine, for the bad streets of New York City for employment? I have seen this, it usually produces the notorious California weenie snob kid attitude..."OMG you guys have gum on ground? ewww". "Homeless"...eww.

Kids have to leave the nest, they will at one point be unprotected by your safe little quadrant of OC. Will they be prepared for what is outside the Orange Curtain? For your sake, you better hope they get a high paying career before they leave. Also better hope they don't rebel against you and head to the "ghetto".

I recommend visiting Los Angeles or San Francisco to get a glimpse of reality once in a while, you know, to keep their feet on the ground.

[NaplesRes]

I don't mind wealth in a neighborhood or area. I actually like it.

What bugs me about south oc (the inland part ie not newport and laguna) is there isn't true wealth yet there is extreme pressure to appear wealthy. It's materialism without the means. In old money neighborhoods with real wealth you don't see this materialism. You only see it in middle / upper middle class areas.

In south oc it's unusually ridiculous because you drive around and see all the cookie cutter houses and cookie cutter shopping centers and the houses with no yards with frontal facades defined by garage doors and it's impossible to think of this place as wealthy if you've ever seen a truly wealthy place. And the numbers bear it out. The average income for inland south oc neighborhoods even when the economy was strong was never more than 100k/year. In socal that is nothing. And since jobs in south oc were so tied to mortgages, real estate, etc I bet you'll see some folks take some pretty big hits and since they lived in a place of materialism they will likely be very leveraged and it will be hard for them. It's sad actually.

Raising kids with pressure to appear wealthy when you are in fact not wealthy is truly a disservice to your children.