Voluntary Simplicity

[haggardhouseelf]

Thanks for the support and kind words silverfox and SeeBee. My husband and I do feel like we're the last of our kind sometimes. We also do not drink or go out really at all. We just have a hard time leaving our kids (We have never used a babysitter, ever. Crazy, huh?) and we also have a hard time spending money on ourselves like that.

Another thing we do which seems to create a sense of simplicity in our home is that we have always kept our kids on a very strict bedtime schedule. 7:30pm is bedtime. I know that sounds early... but they also have to get up early for school. They get between 9 and 11 hours of sleep per night, which is what our family doctor says they should be getting, so I don't feel bad about putting them to bed so early. They each have a reading light by their beds and if they aren't tired they are allowed to stay up a little while and read. We also read outloud to them - we're currently reading the first book in the L. Frank Baum - Oz series! Love Books of Wonder!

Most nights it goes like this: 7:30 we brush our teeth, get our PJ's on, and cuddle and read together until 8'ish... then they have this really cool "Moon in my Room" nightlight in their room that we turn on. It hangs on the wall and looks just like the moon - even lighting up in a way that shows the stages of the moon (or you can keep it set on a full moon). They then can choose to go straight to sleep, or they can use their reading booklights to read to themselves until they get sleepy. They may also write in their journals that they keep beside their beds. And by "writing" this usually means drawing super hero comic strips and treasure maps and alien robot monsters!! I do not read their journals (we talk about respecting privacy) but they sometimes want me to look at what they've drawn, it's so great.

This is great for my husband and I, too, because by 8pm every night, he and I have some time alone to ourselves. We sometimes just cuddle or talk, or watch a film, or lay out in the backyard hammock and watch the sky... whatever. Sometimes we are so sleepy from our busy day that we go to bed early!

I'd love to hear what other people do to simplify. I hope some more people respond. Karlaking - what do you and your family do?

[theRain]

haggardhouseelf:

I wish I heard of more parents like you. THat sounds pretty similar to how it went when my kids were small. Two are off on their own now, but one teen is still at home. I never had a schedule with mine as infants, and it worked well, they all slept through the night by a reasonable age, and despite everyone telling me I "had to have a schedule" my babies were quite easy to live with, and very portable! Once they were very mobile as toddlers, however, then a regular bedtime worked fine. I never used baby sitters, either, never wanted or needed to. Very rarely, they might spend an eve. with grandparents, but they didn't get real involved relatives, so that wasn't very available to us. We got by very well!
I hear TOO much of small children having TVs in their room, and DVD players to watch in the car, OMG I hate that.
What about talking or reading to the kids? The simple pleasures you are teaching your kids will serve them well, forever. All of my kids can entertain themselves quite well without electronics and without someone else entertaining them. We do have computers and television, and we love to watch movies, but we balance it all with lots of simple outdoor time with our dogs and horses. Also, with my kids, reading to them was a daily thing, we all loved it, and they often would see their dad and I reading books, so they of course love to read, as well.
I find it AMAZING what people think that their kids NEED. It is crazy.
Several years ago, as my older kids were moving out, my youngest and I really trimmed down our "stuff". It was great, and it makes moving so much easier! I don't want to own more junk than I can move myself!
I think the simpler, the better, and the while I have never been one to need many possessions, the older I get, the fewer I want! I don't understand being so emotionally attached to STUFF, or NEEDING to have a showroom type of home. Get out and live, DO stuff, instead of collecting stuff!!

[SeeBee]

When I was growing up, we had family friends who lived their entire lives as you've both described, haggardhouseelf, and theRain. Their parents did not allow television in the home - all their kids came over to our place to watch it! All radios and lights were turned off at bedtime.

Their father was very strict, in a good way. The kids were to be home at a certain time, if other kids stayed out later, too bad. They were each to help with house chores, folding laundry, cooking, cleaning up after dinner, taking care of the animals. If they wanted to buy something, they had to earn the money for it. If their mom sent them to the store a few miles away, a few of the boys walked together. If they wanted a tree-house, dad helped, but the kids did most of the work. Not one of them had a car given to them.

Maybe some of this sounds extreme these days, but they were one of the most loving families I have ever met. After school, their house was full of school children - including me and my siblings. It was a house full of endless things to do, and fun. Mostly, they welcomed everyone and treated everyone with care are respect.

Out of seven children (!), one put herself through medical school, and is practicing in south Texas. One of the boys has a successful import business and lives overseas. Another, whom I spoke of in a different thread, lives in the Rocky Mountains, and owns several hundred acres in the foothills (he ended up being "the mountain man" of the family!). Two other brothers own a construction business in California. They are some of the most independent and self-reliant people I've ever known.

Guess my point is that all of this was self-earned, and no one expected that anything was owed to them. They got no handouts, and worked very hard for what they have. It may be difficult to pull this off if you live in a big city, but people can still do a lot to simplify their lives along the same lines.

theRain, I like your last paragraph, there. It is amazing what people think they "need." (Myself, included). I'd also like to say to silverfox that it's wonderful what you and your wife are doing, liquidating "things". God bless that you've been together as long as you have...my parents made it to 51 years together!

It's wonderful to read everyone's thoughts on this!

[karlaking]

Thank you so much for all the responses. I am living a more simpler life now at 30 something and I must say it is very much a relief. My son seems to play better when there are less toys around him, and my life is jus easier with less STUFF around.

[notmeofficer]

Me, a retired policeman.. my wife, a retired teacher... have sought the "simple life" our whole life... the city got in the way.. as did careers... but the effort was worth it
We live happily in less than 900 square feet, how many rooms can one person occupy,heat,cool or pay for..ok Im spoiled we do have a large shop
We chose not to have children to lessen our footprint on the world
We grow much of our own organic food
We produce at least part of our power consumption.. we're working towards independence
We can build anything.. we both learned technical expertises to do so
We own everything.. no credit cards no mortgage no banks no paying someone else
We dont use government services... well most anyway.. many as we all know are built in
We are, most importantly, at peace with ourselves.. this is paramount to a simpler life