Flat Busted & All Alone in Oregon? (Portland, Eugene: apartment, condo)

[Babette's Mom]

I'll be blunt: I've lived (if you want to call it living) in Marblehead, Massachusetts for 7 loooong, excruciating, miserable years and have been commuting into (filthy, rude, stinking, decaying, chaotic) Boston the last 2 years for work and if I don't get out of here very, very soon, I'm going to throw myself off the Tobin Bridge. I moved here because I had always wanted to be in this historically rich and aesthetically pleasing area (I'm originally from the midwest which has no history and is ugly as can be). You know, the "quaint" New England thing, but I bitterly regret the day I dragged my sorry behind across its state -- oh, I beg your pardon -- COMMONWEALTH line. I live in a shabby apartment in part of someone's house in a snotty little burb, live from paycheck to paycheck, freeze in the winter and do a slow burn in the summer (no A/C allowed in the crumbling old colonial dump of a house with wiring from circa 1900!), and, despite my best efforts and despite the fact that I ain't too hard on the eyes, I still can't find a man! Mainly because there are none within a 1000 mile radius. As for "friends" -- don't even get me started. I know a grand total of two people. While I'm the sort who will get out of bed at 2 AM to pull my friend out of a ditch if need be, these people have an "every man for himself" attitude. If the going gets rough, they get going.

I've had an invitation to move to Portland. Oregon, not Maine, thank god. However, my sister lived there in the late 70s and early 80s and is warning me that it's rainy, depressing, full of homeless people and has no jobs. She paints a picture of me moving there to stay with my friend, finding no job (thus, no $$$ to get my own place) and ending up flat busted, with my savings wiped out, and no where to go except a refrigerator box parked under a nice, dry underpass. Ugh!!!

I had rather thought that maybe this might be a good move for me -- 3,000 miles away from Boston can't be anything but GOOD. I've visited Portland (and most other places in Oregon) three or four times, and I thought it was rather peaceful and green. Yeah, I saw how lousy some parts of Portland are, but Boston has it's own lousy pockets, so what else is new? I don't plan on living in those places, anyway!

Like I said, I'm 47 and single. Sure, it would be easier to make a big move like this if I had a boyfriend/husband, but I don't. I do admin assistant work which pays poorly whether you're in Boston or the middle of nowhere, so I also don't have a great career which can pave the way for me to move comfortably anywhere I want. I'm just trying to have a little happiness before I die or the entire world explodes, so I'm asking for your input. What's the deal with Portland? Or any other city/area in Oregon? Good idea? Bad idea? Are the people at least approachable? Can a person at least make friends with reasonable effort? What's your take on it? I'm open to any one's opinions. Let 'er rip!

One thing: gloomy, rainy days don't actually bother me. I actually dislike lots of sunshine and high temps, especially high humidity. So if that's one of the negatives, we can cross that off right now.

[findingmesomeday]

My own opinion is that you would like Seattle better than Portland. And neither city is more expensive than Boston.

[Silverfall]

Portland is fabulous! I lived there before heading down to Salem and loved it. I came from the Chicago area, so slums and homeless are a matter of perspective. From my perspective, coming from Chicago, the big city issues are fairly small potatoes compared to Chicago.

Maybe if you share some of your interests, people can direct you to neighborhoods. There is also a separate Portland forum as well.

[haggardhouseelf]

Hi Babette's Mom... I've lived in Eugene (2 hours south of Portland) and Redmond (eastside of Seattle area)... I'm a married mother of two so my perspectives and expectations of a place are prolly much different than yours, but wanted to say that if you are single and looking to meet other singles - I would tend to agree that Seattle might be a better fit for you!

Seattle also would have more for you in terms of jobs and housing and other opportunities which would improve your quality of life. I DO NOT recommend the Seattle or eastside area for families simply because it is too congested and too expensive - for families - and because I know Oregon has mroe to offer for families... but for single people, the Seattle and Eastside area is awesome. Especially if you are wanting to go to school or pursue any sort of career or you just enjoy living in a beautiful place. LOTS of single guys there, too... the "techies" who are recruited for Microsoft and Boeing and whatnot...

As far as the closed-offish'ness (that's what I call it...) of people... the Pacific Northwest in general seems to be a place where people tend to keep to themselves more. It's a pretty tough nut to crack when it comes to making strong friendships. People are very polite and nice here, but generally not very open at first to outsiders. If you volunteer or work with the same people over an extended period of time you will more than likely make friends slowly that way, but don't expect it to happen very quickly. Expect to have to work to build trust and prove to the people you're around everyday that you are worth their investment of time and energy towards growing a strong friendship.

In my experience, too, in the past 5 years... the people who befriended me very quickly were eventually more trouble than they were worth and I ended up distancing myself from them. One even became somewhat of a stalker... no fun. Another lady used me to get to my kids - she started off being super nice and cozy with me... and then when I began to feel comfortable around her she began asking to take my kids off alone to different places. This weirded me out so

[mikemorrow]

IMHO puck the city. To fast, and hard to get around if you have little to no cash. Go to a big town. Get to know it's people, and if you realy want a job you can find one. The people will get to know you by name. The jobs will be with low pay but you will not need as much to live. Trust me on this one. I'm moving to Coos Bay, I know nobody, have no job, and just enough money to last 2-3 months. I will buy a bike and peddle the town. No gas money, and that is one big savings.
I wish you the best of luck.

Starting over is a rough thing to do. Just do it right and the rewards will come. But if the city fails you again, look me up. I'll be happy to give you a hand.
Mike

[Babette's Mom]

Thanks to everyone who has responded. Good information to mull over.

haggardhouseelf (love that name!) - I'll check out Seattle and see what's cookin'. My brother lives in Port Townsend, so I would at least have some family nearby for moral support, if nothing else. And it would be nothing else since I've never had an invite from him to come out, and my sister had a miserable time living with him for a short time while looking for a job, etc. I'm sure he would look like this if he even suspected I was checking out "his" corner of the world!

mikemorrow -- what can I say? Wow...to move somewhere you have no job and just enough money for 2 - 3 months! I salute you. I did exactly that when I moved from the midwest to Mass. I had an apartment in advance, but no way to pay the rent! I had to hustle, and there were some scary moments, but it all worked out without a hitch -- money was always there when I needed it. It was almost magical, like the Universe was conspiring to help me live in this place that I loved so much. Went a long way toward making me feel that I had done the right thing. It's so strange how it all went so badly later on! At least I know I can move somewhere "cold" and make it...but I was only 39 then. And the economy was a bit healthier then. I have a lot more trepidation now than I did then, but hearing that you're going to do it makes me feel less shaky about it! Best of luck to you!!!

[pshinspections]

If your money situation is good, Seattle. You must have a car there to get around, though. If your money situation is average, Portland. Their mass transit system is far superior to Seattle, and the job situation is slightly better.

[haggardhouseelf]

I agree with pshinspections... it would be very tricky to get around without a car in the Seattle and most definitely the eastside area (Redmond, Bellevue, Kirkland, etc.) unless you were to live and work in the same neighborhood and could walk or bike easily (and don't mind doing so in horrible weather most of the year). We lived in a little community called Redmond Ridge which was very expensive but also very walkable. My husbands office was two blocks from our apartment and our children's school less than a mile away. We had a grocery store, bank, post office, etc. all across the street so that community was wonderful for people who do not want to depend on a car. It was very woodsy, too, with hiking and equestrian trails and lots of trees and an 800+ protected wilderness preserve across the street as well. It was a lovely place - but rent was close to 1800. per month for a small two bedroom apartment... and homes were in the $400K and up range.

You might want to consider Eugene, OR. It is even more affordable than Portland and is in a great location - one hour to the west you're on the amazing Oregon coast and one hour to the east and your in mountain wilderness with snow sports and hot springs and pure glacial lakes... some lakes are so pure they have been compared to distilled water. Eugene also has a very good bus system and an awesome network of bike trails. It's an easy place to get around without a car. Rent is much less expensive as well. We are currently renting a two bedroom for less than $800 per month in a very nice neighborhood while we shop around for homes to buy. You can find nice 2 and 3 bedroom homes for $180K and up here without any problem and condo's for even less than that. Sometimes I forget I'm on the West Coast, as every other place along the west coast is so crazy expensive!

There are jobs here as well - contrary to what many people gripe about. It's just that there are not many people here willing to get the training they need for the jobs available (it's a college town, go figure?), and also it seems a lot of people here are too picky when it comes to working. If you truly are willing to work whatever job, you'll be able to find plenty of jobs here. Home Depot and Costco seem to always be hiring... Market of Choice is currently hiring. I joined eugenejobs.com and get emails daily of new job postings. Most are entry-level. You'd do fine here I think!

[threedaughters]

I have to second Eugene. We do have a good bus system and cheaper housing then Portland. Come visit and I bet you won't leave!

[mikemorrow]

I agree. If you want a city, Eugene is the best in my book.