Weight tolerance in Bend & surrounding areas?????????? (Eugene, Salem: house, living in)

[AlabasterPrince]

My wife and I have been contemplating a move into Oregon, specifically around the Bend area for some time now as we currently live in a state that can get quite hot and almost unlivable in the summer months. We are both very much home bodies although we do love to sit out on our porch and watch the sun go down in the evenings. Problem with that is that we have both put on a considerable amount of weight in the last five years or so and I don't see that changing anytime soon as we both enjoy our food very much.

My question is "how tolerant are Oregonians with heavy people?" I have noticed that here in Nevada they are NOT at all tolerant and will go out of their way to make comments and or stare at you when you enter a store or restaurant as though disgusted by your very presence. Is it like that in Oregon? And are they many "fat" people in the areas around Bend? Or even Eugene as we haven't quite made our choice on which one yet. I know my wife would feel more comfortable living in an area where there are some women of her own size.

The reason I have posed this question to you all is a recent article I ran across while researching Oregon (Bend) on the net. It was written by a man who evidently travels around a lot and blogs about his experiences with places he's been. And in one of his articles he made mention to enjoying the fact that there were less obese people in bend than in others he had frequented as though that was some sort of problem like the rising cost of gas or groceries. I must say it was rather insulting to be looped into the same type of category.

I welcome any opinions anyone can give me on my question, honesty is welcome as well, but please no insults or anything of the sort as my wife will surely read this and I would not like to see her upset or crying from some people's insensitivity.

[Bendite]

When I moved back to Oregon from Colorado, I thought there were more people in Oregon who carry excess weight than in Colorado. Here in Bend, because it is an outdoor enthusiasts' mecca, there is certainly a focus on good health and habits. There are still a number of people who are heavy here. I don't think people really pay that much attention, but even if they did, if you are happy with your lifestyle, then what people think of your weight is of no relevance. I doubt you'd get rude comments from passers-by, though if you are extemely obese, people will look at you; that's human nature.

[AlabasterPrince]

I have always thought that the feelings of others on my appearance were irrelevant as well, but my wife does not share these views unfortunately. She is very affected by what others think and say and would even go as far as having surgery just to prevent others from making her feel uncomfortable. I don't believe that the surgery would benefit her or us in any way though because we both love our big greasy burgers and fried chicken too much lol.

My wife struggled with her weight off and on for years after having our 4 children and for a while it seemed she might win, but then her weight came back with a vengeance and diets just didn't seem to help anymore. She's been tested for thyroid problems and diabetes and other than the problems associated with the weight itself there doesn't seem to be anything causing the weight issue other than her/our love for food.

I just want to make sure that wherever we end up going that she feels comfortable in her own skin and not afraid to go places and get out of the house now and again for fear of people staring at us. And a town full of fit/healthy people who view us as disgusting or weak minded just might not be the right place.

OH, and for the record my wife and I both weigh less than 300 pounds but that is still considered morbidly obese every where that I know of.

[Silverfall]

I agree with Bendite. People who move to Oregon tend to be outdoorsy oriented, and want to take advantage of hiking, etc. I googled obese states and at least as of 2005 Oregon ranked 33 (1 being the most obese, 50 being the least).

FOXNews.com - State Obesity Rankings: Massive in Mississippi, Lean in Colorado - Fitness | Exercise | Nutrition | Physical

At least as of 2005 23.8% of Oregonians were considered obese.

You may get some looks, but I wouldn't expect people to say anything to you. Oregonians tend to generally be polite.

[westvillemama]

As a native to the state, I have to say that Oregonians in general are not very appearance oriented. It is not generally speaking a nip-and-tuck, bleach-and-wax mentality there as one may encounter in say Vegas or Miami (generalising, yet again, of course). The more common mindset is one of active lifestyle and personal freedoms, so that if a person is happy with who they are and are not pushy in personality, judgement is usually suspended or at least temporary. My stepfather is obese yet active, and he recieves little judgement and virtually no commentary or looks. He lives in a very rural mid-state area in OR.

However, like with many other issues, fatness is judged more harshly upon women than upon men, because "attractiveness" is considered a more desirable feminine quality, and heaviness is not generally equated with attractiveness. This is quite unfortunate, and probably why your wife is more uncomfortable with what other people think than you are, because they're harsher on her than they are on you. I am sad that she has encountered such critcal attitudes. A person ought to be judged on their character, not their size!

I think you might find Bend to be a pretty activity oriented and health conscious place to live, but that it is also populated with people of all body types and sizes. Oregonians in general tend to be outdoorsey explorer types, regardless of the other aspects of their lifestyle (politics, etc.) and it's catching. There are so many beautiful places to see and fun things to do that it is difficult to stay put for long! I wouldn't categorise Oregon as necessarily fat-friendly, but more fat-tolerant or fat-ignoring. People are more concerned with lifestyle than image, if that makes sense.

Good luck to you both in your decisions!

[karlsch]

What is needed is an overweight Oregonian to give an opinion. Everybody else is probably just guessing.

[AlabasterPrince]

Thank you Bendite, Silverfall and westvillemama for your kind words and encouragement. if all the people in Oregon are even one tenth as nice as you it should be a joy to move to.

Originally Posted by karlsch

What is needed is an overweight Oregonian to give an opinion. Everybody else is probably just guessing.

And yes karlsch, I agree, it WOULD be nice to hear from someone in Oregon who actually IS overweight. I know it would make my wife feel better to hear from someone who may have personal experience in the matter.

[Silverfall]

I have a friend who is obese and she said the only comments she has gotten here in Salem...

She was grocery shopping and she had just had her third child. Hair messy, looking tired, heads to the store with 3 kids in tow. Two older men came up to her (at separate times) and told her that they have birth control now.

They didn't say anything about her weight, but her overall appearance lead them to conclude that she was "white trashish" or something and uneducated.

She is not sensitive about her body though, so there may be looks or other things that she doesn't pick up on because she doesn't care what people think about her. She is a great lady.

[HMinOR]

I am definitely overweight after having our second child, and I live near Bend and shop there often. I have never received any comments other than about the cuteness of my children, which I eat up like any good mother

And just thinking of my shopping and recreating experiences in and around Bend, there seems to be in my mind quite a few different body types and weights everywhere we go. From the morbidly obese to the size 0, there is just a range of people as I imagine there are anywhere.

My husband and I do enjoy hiking with our kids, and I will say that in those activities there have been times where I felt like the heaviest person around , but I think that is to be expected in outdoor activities like that. But I just told myself at least I was there! LOL

ETA: If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a message, I would be happy to answer questions. I will say I do suffer from being oblivious as I have always been comfortable in my own skin. I did ask a friend who also is overweight, and she said she has not experienced any negativity either.

[AlabasterPrince]

Originally Posted by HMinOR

I am definitely overweight after having our second child, and I live near Bend and shop there often. I have never received any comments other than about the cuteness of my children, which I eat up like any good mother

And just thinking of my shopping and recreating experiences in and around Bend, there seems to be in my mind quite a few different body types and weights everywhere we go. From the morbidly obese to the size 0, there is just a range of people as I imagine there are anywhere.

My husband and I do enjoy hiking with our kids, and I will say that in those activities there have been times where I felt like the heaviest person around , but I think that is to be expected in outdoor activities like that. But I just told myself at least I was there! LOL

ETA: If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a message, I would be happy to answer questions. I will say I do suffer from being oblivious as I have always been comfortable in my own skin. I did ask a friend who also is overweight, and she said she has not experienced any negativity either.

My wife wanted me to thank you for your response. She says she feels much better about the possible move knowing that she wouldn't be the only one and that there are nice people such as yourself, Silverfall and everyone else who has responded here.

She even seems inspired to try losing the weight again. She's been looking into that Alli plan although I have told her I'm not sure she should, what with the "nasty" side effects and all. But I will support her 100% if she still chooses to do it.

Thanks again for everyone's help.