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we can not discuss any positive points of a WA destination on the OR forum (advertising), but you can get objective advice by cross posting this on WA Vancouver forum.
Basically, it is best to live on the state you earn your income for tax and commute benefit. It is especially pertinent to review your proposed destinations and try the trip to all activities during actual commute hours. There is significant family benefit to minimize unnecessary time on the road. If you use the airport much you might want to add Camas, WA to your evaluation list.
Investigate facilities for your interests including your kids future activities. An example would be swimming of which one of these states is woefully deficient. School funding is quite different, so decide if you are willing to use a private school or home school. I've known of lots of Home school families from each side of the river, and there is significant support for that in the area. If you have any potential of utilizing College instead of High School for Jr and Senior yr, there are differences in how the states enable that process.
Are you interested in Rural or urban housing? Your stated destinations vary significantly in their town centers and services. But both are close to additional services.
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