Difficulty getting my child to play with neighbor child. (home, neighborhood)

[pasquestions]

My 9 yo kid had the courage to go over to my neighbors kid recently, he introduced himself and his friend to her, an 11 yo. The first time he met w/ her she was playing with three other children (1 boy - 8 yo, 2 girls - 10 & 11 yo) outside. They talked and played for a little bit about 20 mins or so until the girl and her three friends went inside. However after that first encounter it has taken a turn for the worse; my kid has tried two more times to play with the girl and each attempt (while she was playing outside) has resulted in the father calling in the girl after 5-10 mins of talking between the two kids, in fact while on xmas break and on the very last day of vacation time my son saw the girl outside twice in the later portion of the afternoon. He walked over saw the girl with her two other friends and after 5 mins the father called her in for 'home work'. An hour later evening about, my kid saw her again outside with one of her friends, gain he walked over there and discovered again from the girl that she was only getting a ball from outside (dad asked her to get) + still needed to complete homework

Obviously there is a problem of some kind here and I don't like it; how do I proceed with this delicate matter?

[nphomeowner]

Maybe talk to the parents and just ask if there is a problem with your child playing with theirs? Sometimes just out right asking is the key. Maybe once the parents meet you they won't be concerned anymore.

[jdoty]

Talk to the girl's parents.

[kyle19125]

It sounds like maybe some kind of discrimination at work. If not racial, perhaps socio-economic? It's really sad how often that gets passed along to the next generation.

[FloridaKash]

Talk to the parent. I feel more comfortable with my kids playing with others once I meet their parents. Introduce yourself, talk for a little bit, make conversation.

Or.... maybe they have another child in their home, locked up... under the stairs... and aren't looking to make new friends. Or... maybe the have a methlab or growhouse and don't want any attention!

Just kidding. Seriously though, introduce yourself.

[kyle19125]

Originally Posted by FloridaKash

Or.... maybe they have another child in their home, locked up... under the stairs... and aren't looking to make new friends. Or... maybe the have a methlab or growhouse and don't want any attention!

Well, one never knows anymore. Just when you think you can't make this stuff up you read or hear about it.

[theoldnorthstate]

always meet the parents first. keep the kids under your visibility unless you make agreement with neighbor for neighbor to watch them.

maybe something simple like 'i don't let my kids play with others unless the other parents are known, present...'

[JanND]

I think I would back off, you are being a bit pushy imo. Why would you want to keep pushing when the father is definitely hiding something or is just plain weird.

Keep an eye on the Dad. But I wouldn't push or confront, it is his right to avoid neighbors if he chooses.


So what's the rest of the story. Anything unusual about your kid, his kids or neighborhood? Could the kids be contagious?


Meanwhile get your son involved in some activities or perhaps invite a couple of his classmates over.

[HokieGCC]

Something may be "off" and I would just observe for a while. I would not let my child go into another home unless I was comfortable with the parents etc (you never know is going on). That means getting to know the parents first.

[ClC053103]

This post was 4 years old- not sure why anyone decided to bring it back to life!