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In my admittedly limited experience, there is a HUGE difference. With both of my kids (currently ages 25 and 27), it was almost as if a maturity switch flipped in their brains at about age 23. And I don't really think that financial support or lack thereof had an awful lot to do with it.
Our daughter had no interest in going to college, moved out three weeks after graduating high school, moved back home six months later, out again at 21 (with a real low-life loser of a boyfriend), and back home six months later. During that time, she was holding the kind of jobs you can land with a high school diploma: hourly pay, low wages, no benefits, horrible hours, no respect, lots of stress.
At age 23, she suddenly decided to start college, got herself accepted to a local private university, lined up financial aid and student loans, and worked her way through the prescribed courses. A year after starting, she landed a job at the university in her major field of study, and worked 30 hours a week all the way through school. She moved out a year and a half ago, just graduated this past weekend at age 27, and is a mature, independent young woman.
Our son took a different path. He started school at a state four-year university right out of high school, promptly joined a fraternity, and spent the next several years in a haze of booze and sorority girls, not necessarily in that order. He got kicked out of university twice and wheedled his way back in both times. He wasn't relying on Mom and Dad for support: the kid has student loans up the wazoo, as well as working at least 20 hours a week all the way through.
Then all of a sudden, when he was 23, he suddenly got serious about studying. His grades went from Ds to Bs, his GPA improved to the point where he was no longer on academic probation, and although he still enjoys a lively social life, he actually tackles research papers, projects and presentations as soon as they are assigned instead of waiting until the night before they're due. He's three courses away from graduating, and it looks as though we'll be attending his commencement this coming December.
So, while I certainly wouldn't generalize that to all young people in the world, in the small sample that I know best, there was a gigantic difference between the late teen years and the early-mid twenties. I have read some studies that suggest there are cellular changes in the brains of late adolescents (late teens) that would seem to bear out the experience we've had in our family, which I found fascinating. But whether or not there is a physiological basis for it, I saw a huge, huge difference in maturity, outlook, attitude and work ethic in my own kids between ages 18 and 23.
I can understand what people are saying about how you support yourself at 25 but your parents support you at 18. That is the biggest difference I see between a 25 year old and someone my age.
But there's more to consider than just finances. For example, my parents support me at 18. But my 3 year old cousins are also supported by their parents. Who do I have more in common with though? The 3 year old or the 25 year old? The answer should be obvious.
Or if we want the same age gap between both examples, let's compare me (18) to an 11 year old and a 25 year old. Even in this case, I might have more in common with the 25 year old. Whether or not you support yourself is not the be-all, end-all to determine how much you have in common with someone.
GloryB brings up a good point. There are plenty of immature 25 year olds living with their parents and acting like teenagers.
Maturity is something that evolves over time. As long as you learn from your mistakes, look to the future and have goals you should be just fine. No, it's not easy and they'll be plenty of naysayers, but keep fighting the good fight.
And don't worry about the immature 25 year olds that are still living with their parents. Think of that as a motivator to strive, work hard and make good choices so you DON'T end up like them.
At 18 you are still guessing how you will handle certain situations. By 25, you've actually experienced some of those situations and found out you don't always act the way you thought you would at 18. You start learning that life is full of compromises and choices aren't as easy as they once seemed. You also learn that things that once devastated you aren't as hard as they once were.
A person who is still being financially supported by parents at 25 is probably acting more like an 18-year-old, not like a typical 25-year-old. Even if you live at home you should still be supporting yourself by 25.
The difference between 25 and 31 is also huge. The difference between 31 and 41 is even bigger, IMO.
I didn't think there would be much difference between your early 40's and your mid 50s... until I experienced it for myself and saw there were many BIG difference. And the difference between 50 and 70 is big as well.
By the time you're 25, you've (hopefully) lived on your own for a few years and earned your own living. Having to make your own decisions does change you. You can't blow off your boss the same way you can blow off your college English professor. The disappointments can be bigger, but the rewards can be bigger as well.
There were two different people inhabiting my body at ages 18 and 25. I somewhat like the 25 year old, but I wouldn't want to spend 10 seconds in the company of the shallow, immature, self-centered 18 year old.
Same goes for my kids. They're all grown now, but the teenage years are what I called the dark ages. I enjoy the heck out of my grown-up, responsible adult kids. The teen years are the price a parent pays to (hopefully) end up with self-supporting adults whom you don't despise.
In my experience, yes there is a big difference. Any period of years gives you an advantage in life experience, knowledge and wisdom, so you can make better decisions and get more mature, become more dependent and deal with life better.
I may be 22 but I only "live at home" at the moment because in the job market here I have still been struggling to find a suitably paid position to afford somewhere of my own, and it is down to financial reasons only. Obviously, I am doing everything I can to get more experience and training to overcome this.
However, I technically "left home" for university when I was 19 and lived away from home independently for three years with no problems; I do not consider myself "immature" for my age by being at home for this few months at the age of 22, especially since I am not being financially support by anybody as a child is, so I would rebuke anyone who considers me so for that, such as the opinions of some here would suggest.
I've worked hard, gotten a degree, strived to get somewhere in life, and yes I may at this point in time be at home, but as soon as financially viable, I will be living totally independently again. So I think some of the comments above about "immature 20-something year olds at home" are rather superficial and generalistic.
Everyone's situation is different, and before anyone judges anybody else, they should walk a mile in THEIR shoes.
If there's anything I learned in life it's that given the complexity of life and the hundreds of thousands of different paths lives can take, everybody's situation is very different, and there is no room in the world for proud, judgemental people who think they know it all and can speak for everybody.
We all have different goals, aspirations and decisions to make, and life is not easy for anybody.
If you're one of those who appear to have landed on your feet and think you did it all by yourself and have the right to lord it over others, then bully for you. But here's a question. Did you do it all, 100% by yourself? Really think about the question. Nobody ever "does it" all by them self.
Along the way, people have influenced you, inspired you, encouraged and helped you, and anyone who thinks they can suck it all up to their own pride needs a good kicking.
In my admittedly limited experience, there is a HUGE difference. With both of my kids (currently ages 25 and 27), it was almost as if a maturity switch flipped in their brains at about age 23. And I don't really think that financial support or lack thereof had an awful lot to do with it.
Our daughter had no interest in going to college, moved out three weeks after graduating high school, moved back home six months later, out again at 21 (with a real low-life loser of a boyfriend), and back home six months later. During that time, she was holding the kind of jobs you can land with a high school diploma: hourly pay, low wages, no benefits, horrible hours, no respect, lots of stress.
At age 23, she suddenly decided to start college, got herself accepted to a local private university, lined up financial aid and student loans, and worked her way through the prescribed courses. A year after starting, she landed a job at the university in her major field of study, and worked 30 hours a week all the way through school. She moved out a year and a half ago, just graduated this past weekend at age 27, and is a mature, independent young woman.
Our son took a different path. He started school at a state four-year university right out of high school, promptly joined a fraternity, and spent the next several years in a haze of booze and sorority girls, not necessarily in that order. He got kicked out of university twice and wheedled his way back in both times. He wasn't relying on Mom and Dad for support: the kid has student loans up the wazoo, as well as working at least 20 hours a week all the way through.
Then all of a sudden, when he was 23, he suddenly got serious about studying. His grades went from Ds to Bs, his GPA improved to the point where he was no longer on academic probation, and although he still enjoys a lively social life, he actually tackles research papers, projects and presentations as soon as they are assigned instead of waiting until the night before they're due. He's three courses away from graduating, and it looks as though we'll be attending his commencement this coming December.
So, while I certainly wouldn't generalize that to all young people in the world, in the small sample that I know best, there was a gigantic difference between the late teen years and the early-mid twenties. I have read some studies that suggest there are cellular changes in the brains of late adolescents (late teens) that would seem to bear out the experience we've had in our family, which I found fascinating. But whether or not there is a physiological basis for it, I saw a huge, huge difference in maturity, outlook, attitude and work ethic in my own kids between ages 18 and 23.
I am 18 and I am focused in college. I have a 3.6 GPA and I have no interest in partying. I am ahead in terms of how many credits I've earned. I just finished up my first year and I have 40 credits...you only need 28 to become a sophomore (and I know some people that haven't even reached that). And I'm taking summer classes to try to get even more ahead while some of my peers are just goofing off over the summer. Does that mean I am at a point of maturity right now that some people don't reach until 23?
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