GED TEST (Actual Answers- Funny but (house, buying, senior, places)
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The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends
to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot
yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
(Simple,
but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the
heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
I,O,U.. (what the heck!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I
came, I
saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its
meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
(OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends
to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot
yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
(Simple,
but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the
heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
I,O,U.. (what the heck!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I
came, I
saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its
meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
(OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
This answer would be technically correct if the person had listed something like basil instead of vinegar. The question doesn't specify "seasons of the year".
I've never understood why kids drop out of school and then immediately go for a GED. My coworker's dumb a** kid did the same thing.
While these are hilarious they are not actually questions on the GED Tests.
(begin rant)
Five seperate tests make up the GED Tests one each in Mathematics (90 minutes to complete); Social Studies (70 minutes to complete); Science (80 minutes to complete); Language Arts, Reading (65 minutes to complete); and Language Arts, Writing (75 minutes to complete). The writing test includes writing an essay (45 minutes to complete).
Mathmetics test the following areas:
*number operations and number sense
*measurement and geometry
*data analysis, statistics, and probability
*algebra, functions, and patterns
Social Studies test the following:
*History (US or Canada, and World)
*Geography
*Civics and Government
*Economics
Science covers the following:
*Physical Science (physics and chemistry)
*Life Science
*Earth and Space Science
Language Arts, Reading test gives you several things to read and each one has a question about the content to test a person's reading comprehension skills, analysis skills, application skills, and synthesis skills,
Language Arts, Writing Part I test:
*Organization
*Sentence Structure
*Usage
*Mechanics
Language Arts, Writing Part II:
*Test takers are given 45 minutes to write on their assigned essay topic They are given a score from 1-4.
1. Inadequate
2. Marginal
3. Adequate
4. Effective
If a person score 1 or 1.5 on the essay they must take both Language Arts Writing sections again.
A person must receive a standard score of 410 or above in each of the five tests AND a total standard score of 2250 points
Everyone looks down on people who have a GED, thinking they are some stupid high school drop out, when in reality 60% of High School Graduates fail the GED Tests on their first try. When in High School, a person can get by with barely any effort or remembering things from prior years (USUALLY). This GED test covers everything learned in a four to six year period and that info must be recalled in a short amount of time under pressure. I feel that the GED actually measures what the kids have not only been taught, but what they actually retained.
Sorry for the rant, but I had to get my GED when my mother and I moved my senior year into a school district that wouldn't accept my credits from a high school 30 miles away and in the same state. They wanted me to redo the 4 years of hell I had already put in. I told them no thanks (I don't think I was actually that nice) and as soon as my other class graduated I went down and took the test. Passed it on my first try.
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)
) and as soon as my other class graduated I went down and took the test. Passed it on my first try.