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Unread 01-17-2011, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Back Home In TN…YAY:):)
15,285 posts, read 14,346,924 times
Reputation: 70710
Talking 29 Lines To Make You Smile....LOL

I just got this one and had to share...some we've all heard before but they can still make us smile

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED , FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? (Love it!!)

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few !
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Unread 01-17-2011, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Neither here nor there
14,813 posts, read 6,827,963 times
Reputation: 32681
I can certainly agree with #8!!
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Unread 01-17-2011, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,862 posts, read 24,006,574 times
Reputation: 58009
I am identifying with number 11.
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Unread 01-17-2011, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Charlotte county, Florida
3,006 posts, read 1,917,171 times
Reputation: 8808
I'm all for # 3 in so many situations.
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Unread 01-17-2011, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Mayberry
25,002 posts, read 7,030,803 times
Reputation: 56183
I'm number 4!! LOL these are great!!
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Unread 01-17-2011, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Where Trolls get BBQ'd
131,695 posts, read 39,622,377 times
Reputation: 113875
#2 is my story and I'm sticking with it.
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Unread 01-17-2011, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Airports all over the world
3,640 posts, read 2,556,344 times
Reputation: 74371
#5 for me
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Unread 01-17-2011, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Abilene, Texas
8,083 posts, read 3,684,516 times
Reputation: 52336
Funny stuff, several of those apply to me....lol.
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Unread 01-17-2011, 02:24 PM
 
Location: S.A., Texas ~ South of the border~
95,488 posts, read 21,621,955 times
Reputation: 127873
#4 Thanks for the reminder Lisa! .............hehe!
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Unread 01-17-2011, 03:55 PM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
19,561 posts, read 10,205,968 times
Reputation: 87946
#2

This list reminds me of:

Stupid People of the World, Untie!
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