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Old 01-17-2011, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Back Home In TN…YAY:):)
15,653 posts, read 15,022,877 times
Reputation: 71895
Talking 29 Lines To Make You Smile....LOL

I just got this one and had to share...some we've all heard before but they can still make us smile

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED , FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? (Love it!!)

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few !
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Old 01-17-2011, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Neither here nor there
14,812 posts, read 7,297,031 times
Reputation: 32686
I can certainly agree with #8!!
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Old 01-17-2011, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,862 posts, read 25,314,913 times
Reputation: 58053
I am identifying with number 11.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Charlotte county, Florida
3,059 posts, read 2,082,968 times
Reputation: 9106
I'm all for # 3 in so many situations.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Mayberry
25,395 posts, read 7,383,710 times
Reputation: 57163
I'm number 4!! LOL these are great!!
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Where Trolls get BBQ'd
131,664 posts, read 41,103,065 times
Reputation: 113977
#2 is my story and I'm sticking with it.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Airports all over the world
3,945 posts, read 2,808,473 times
Reputation: 76883
#5 for me
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Old 01-17-2011, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Abilene, Texas
8,386 posts, read 3,973,125 times
Reputation: 53792
Funny stuff, several of those apply to me....lol.
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Old 01-17-2011, 02:24 PM
 
Location: S.A., Texas ~ Home of the HUD secretary farm~
96,838 posts, read 23,260,967 times
Reputation: 131238
#4 Thanks for the reminder Lisa! .............hehe!
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Old 01-17-2011, 03:55 PM
bjh
Status: "Stored at 72 degrees Fahrenheit" (set 13 hours ago)
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
19,906 posts, read 10,954,070 times
Reputation: 90124
#2

This list reminds me of:

Stupid People of the World, Untie!
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