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Old 01-17-2011, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Back Home In TN…YAY:):)
15,877 posts, read 15,736,916 times
Reputation: 72655
Talking 29 Lines To Make You Smile....LOL

I just got this one and had to share...some we've all heard before but they can still make us smile

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED , FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? (Love it!!)

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few !
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Old 01-17-2011, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Neither here nor there
14,812 posts, read 7,798,665 times
Reputation: 32706
I can certainly agree with #8!!
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Old 01-17-2011, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,862 posts, read 26,741,328 times
Reputation: 58095
I am identifying with number 11.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Charlotte county, Florida
3,127 posts, read 2,301,177 times
Reputation: 9270
I'm all for # 3 in so many situations.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:14 AM
Status: "Hello leaves on the ground!" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Mayberry
25,777 posts, read 7,772,792 times
Reputation: 58248
I'm number 4!! LOL these are great!!
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Where Trolls get BBQ'd
131,636 posts, read 42,799,339 times
Reputation: 114039
#2 is my story and I'm sticking with it.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Airports all over the world
4,247 posts, read 3,084,624 times
Reputation: 79089
#5 for me
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Old 01-17-2011, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Abilene, Texas
8,685 posts, read 4,290,585 times
Reputation: 55296
Funny stuff, several of those apply to me....lol.
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Old 01-17-2011, 02:24 PM
 
Location: S.A., Texas ~ Home of the HUD secretary farm~
98,566 posts, read 25,126,162 times
Reputation: 134047
#4 Thanks for the reminder Lisa! .............hehe!
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Old 01-17-2011, 03:55 PM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
20,262 posts, read 11,816,160 times
Reputation: 92186
#2

This list reminds me of:

Stupid People of the World, Untie!
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