What would you do? (best, daughter, girls, kids)

[thefer]

a little back ground first.Whatwould you do if you had a 29 yearold daughter with two beautiful little girls and she had a drug and drinking problem. What I really want to know is if my decision is off the wall or you all would do the same? She has to go to court tomorrow for her second DWI.
She has no way to get there. Would you take her? I'll tell you later what I'm going to do. Just want to hear you thoughts on the matter.

[Roaddog]

My sister in-law has a son, he has a drug and drinking problem, she helped him out of fixes and stood by his side until it was appearant she was not doing any good, he got arrested and his car impounded, she didn't help him in any way and he was mad, he didn't go visit her and she didn't him but now that he can't turn to her he seems to be straightening up.
I think she did the right thing.

[thefer]

Thanks Roaddog, That is pretty much where I am with her. I think it is called tough love. I've helped over and over and am the main care giver of the grandchildren. I can't turn my back on them but something is going to have to shake her tree before it is to late.

[emjbulls]

Heck to the no, and I'd also be calling CPS. Great that you feel like cleaning the mess up that your daughter made, but making sure that your granddaughters come out adjusted should be of more importance than helping someone continue to screw up their life.

[thefer]

I'm scared to get the DSS involved because they are so strange here. I keep the girls mostly,she is never around them when she is messed up. But it is so hard to see your only child destroy herself. She has a chemical embalance and I'm trying to ride this out until she is to the point of wanting help to get her life straight. I'm just scared she is going to destroy herself before that happens.

[thefer]

Got to leave for a while, the girls are at bible school this week and it's time to pick them up.Keep giving some suggestions and I check back later tonight.
thanks!!!

[canibeyou]

When it comes to decisions like this..... flip a coin.

I'm being serious.

Heads- you take her; Tails- you don't.

And when the coin lands on a particular side and you find yourself saying "Let me try it again".... you have your answer.

Tough Love is exactly that. Tough. Best of luck on your decision and prayers for your daughter.

[HIF]

One word- CONSEQUENCES. She needs to have some.

And in my state, they have something called "temporary guardianship by a relative"-keeps the kids out of state involvement. And it can be filed on your own- no need for any attorney, but you must get the parents sign-off. In my case, "temporary" is going on ten years...but I have a brilliant, happy, well-adjusted grandchild, so I don't want to rock the boat by going for permanent custody.

Good luck to you- I know it must be tearing you apart.

[vpcats]

Can she get a cab or public transportation to get to court? I think she HAS to go to court right? What happens if she's a no show? What do you think would happen if she does get there? If there is no other way for her to get there unless you take her, think about what you prefer the outcome to be if she shows or she doesn't.

As far as enabling your daughter to keep screwing up, it's very difficult not to help but if she's on the path to destruction, she's going to have to hit bottom to wake up, and hopefully that will happen in such a way that it will be a happy ending.

But are there any programs there you can get her into, even against her will, for detoxing? In Florida we have the Baker Act and you can force someone into it. There's another thread here where it details all about the Act.

In the meantime, do what you can for the kiddos. They're innocent.

[Beretta]

I would take her and I would make sure that I did everything in my power to protect the girls; starting with guardianship of some sort.