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1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning,
too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says 'Gee. Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with,'Gee Officer your eyes look
glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?'
From Big Mike's post above- #13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'......I have a good friend here in town that's a cop and he says that one often!...lol.
Don't tell them you have diarrhea. It doesn't work LOL. They still write the ticket and tell you that they will write the ticket as fast as they can! LOL... I used to be married to a state trooper so I've heard all the stories/excuses! LOL
I just got back from 2 weeks in Germany, driving those autobahns at 130MPH.
Gimme a break! I'm still thinking I'm on an Autobahn!
Comedian Paul Lynde got pulled over in Hollywood one time, driving drunk on a sidewalk with his car, cop stopped him, brought out his pad, ready to write a ticket, and what did Paul say, looking at the pad with a pen in his hand?
I'll take two cheeseburgers with fries!
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