what doctors say and what they're really thinking... (house, to buy, percent)

[John1960]

* "Welllllll, what have we here...?"
(He has no idea and is hoping you�ll give him a clue.)

* "Let me check your medical history."
(I want to see if you�ve paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.)

* "Why don�t we make another appointment later in the week."
(I�m playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time or I need the bucks, so I�m charging you for another office visit.)

* "We have some good news and some bad news."
(The good news is, I�m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you�re going to pay for it.)

* "Let�s see how it develops."
(Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.)

* "Let me schedule you for some tests."
(I have a forty-percent interest in the lab.)

* "I�d like to have my associate look at you."
(He�s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.)

* "I�d like to prescribe a new drug."
(I�m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.)

* "If it doesn�t clear up in a week, give me a call."
(I don�t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.)

* "That�s quite a nasty looking wound."
(I think I�m going to throw up.)

* "This may smart a little."
(Last week two patients bit off their tongues.)

* "Well, we�re not feeling so well today, are we?"
(I�m stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?)

* "This should fix you up."
(The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.)

* "Everything seems to be normal."
(Rats! I guess I can�t buy that new beach condo after all.)

* "I�d like to run some more tests."
(I can�t figure out what�s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.)

* "Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
(You�re crazier�n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who�ll split fees with me.)

* "There is a lot of that going around."
(My God, that�s the third one this week. I�d better learn something about this.)

* "If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
(I�ve never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I�m off next week.)

[Vesper]

Umm....John, you find really strange stuff interesting...

I don't think that's good.