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08-24-2007, 11:27 PM
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CD News Reporter
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Join Date: Jan 2007
13,343 posts, read 8,503,410 times
Reputation: 5416
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You KNOW you're in a redneck Church when:
* The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
* People ask (when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000) whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
* When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
* Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
* A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
* The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
* Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
* Baptism is referred to as "branding."
* There is a special fundraiser for a new church septic tank.
* Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
* High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
* People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
* The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
* The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.
* The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
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08-24-2007, 11:47 PM
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Attitude Of Gratitude
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
16,633 posts, read 5,398,734 times
Reputation: 19644
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LOL... As a Christian, I have to say that I can't help but laugh at this! 
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08-25-2007, 12:14 AM
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Not a member
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Richmond
1,497 posts, read 2,351,502 times
Reputation: 345
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enough with the "redneck" jokes. I'm so tired of that word. I hate it.
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08-25-2007, 04:10 PM
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Botda Farm :D
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Maine
6,517 posts, read 2,535,744 times
Reputation: 6698
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you know you're in a "rural community church" if everyone's related
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08-25-2007, 04:27 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ohio, but moving to El Paso, TX August/September
432 posts, read 463,090 times
Reputation: 168
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There are tons of redneck churches out here.
You can tell them because their sanctuary is a trailer house with an addition. No joke. 
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08-25-2007, 04:28 PM
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If there was a perfect place it would be crowded
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: North of the Cow Pasture and South of the Wind Turbines
806 posts, read 752,727 times
Reputation: 2143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vasinger
enough with the "redneck" jokes. I'm so tired of that word. I hate it.
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Yeah without rednecks this country would just be a bunch of mall going, American idol watching, sheeple -
well it is that I guess - kiss a redneck today and have thanks that they keep things real.
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08-25-2007, 09:51 PM
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Not a member
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Richmond
1,497 posts, read 2,351,502 times
Reputation: 345
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I consider "redneck" a highly offensive term and the equivalent of the "n" word which nobody in the world is allowed to say.
Redneck is a term used by the northeast liberal media against poor southerners and middle america.
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08-28-2007, 06:35 PM
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Attitude Of Gratitude
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
16,633 posts, read 5,398,734 times
Reputation: 19644
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You might be in a redneck church if.. It has a happy hour 
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08-28-2007, 06:56 PM
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Oy vey!
Status:
"Alive"
(set 24 days ago)
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Birmingham, England
2,615 posts, read 1,670,129 times
Reputation: 2731
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vasinger
I consider "redneck" a highly offensive term and the equivalent of the "n" word which nobody in the world is allowed to say.
Redneck is a term used by the northeast liberal media against poor southerners and middle america.
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I think that's a bit of a generalisation there. Sure some people use the term derogatively but in most cases it's just used in a jokey sense like here.
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