Ways to Annoy a Yankee........ (house, names, wife, kids)

[vasinger]

Inspired by John1960....

WAYS TO ANNOY A YANKEE



* Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

* Pronounce all one syllable words with two.

* When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left."

* Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

* When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

* Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

* Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.

* Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

* Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

* Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .)

* Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

* Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

* Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "pee-can."

* Put Tabasco on everything.

* For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!" say , "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

* When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . . banana ones.

* Name all of your children "Bubba."

* Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

* "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.

* Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.

* Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

* Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..

* Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there. . ." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."

* Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

* Call 'em a yankee. Works every time.

[BrianG]

Originally Posted by vasinger

Inspired by John1960....

WAYS TO ANNOY A YANKEE



* Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

* Pronounce all one syllable words with two.

* When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left."

* Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

* When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

* Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

* Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.

* Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

* Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

* Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .)

* Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

* Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

* Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "pee-can."

* Put Tabasco on everything.

* For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!" say , "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

* When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . . banana ones.

* Name all of your children "Bubba."

* Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

* "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.

* Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.

* Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

* Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..

* Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there. . ." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."

* Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

* Call 'em a yankee. Works every time.

Just tell me you are a red sox fan and that will do it !!!

[vasinger]

Originally Posted by BrianG

Just tell me you are a red sox fan and that will do it !!!

Okay, I'm a red sox fan.

[BrianG]

Originally Posted by vasinger

Okay, I'm a red sox fan.

how'd you like the beating we gave you tonight?

[Futcha]

The weather one... How's driving a convertible in the rain? You can shovel snow, not rain. Ask anybody from New Orleans.

This is a good list. You can tell by my above comment it annoyed me.

[northcountrygirl]

Great list! But I don't find it very annoying! Yes, I'm a Yankee born and raised and soon to be a Tennessee transplant and I'm looking forward to some of the things on the list. People up here have to move fast to keep from freezing solid!!!!! Slowing down will take some time but I'm looking forward to it immensely. The rest I'll get used to.

[sweetclimber]

Way to annoy a rebel, I mean southerner

just move there!

[Ohiogirl81]

I reckon y'all can bring a box of moon pies to my Pennsylvania house any time!

[Marylandkitten]

Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81

I reckon y'all can bring a box of moon pies to my Pennsylvania house any time!

I'm a 'fixin to, ma'am!

[MonaLisaVito]

Stare at them with a dumbfounded look on your face while they're talking to you and then say "your ain't from round here, are ya"