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Old 04-15-2012, 08:43 PM
 
479 posts, read 833,346 times
Reputation: 444

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Firstly, don't compare oneself to others, follow...accept...and listen to your own internal drummer.

Figure out where you're at on the testosterone bell curve. 20 percent of males for ever and ever amen...have always had higher sex drives, and have always cycled through multiple encounters with women. 60 percent have always been interested but more stable. 20 percent have lower drives but are able to focus their attention in amazing ways to the benefit of society. Some forgo relationships with the opposite sex all together, or they form the most stable of partnerships when finding their match on the female side of the spectrum.

Wherever you fall on the scale, honor your path...with self acceptance and you'll naturally come across the right type of mates. Notice that's plural. Monogomy is an honorable goal, but we're all still monkeys and it's more natural for the guys with lower testosterone to achieve that goal.
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Old 04-15-2012, 08:55 PM
 
1,206 posts, read 1,731,524 times
Reputation: 974
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soviet View Post
24 years old, heterosexual male... what would you tell someone in their 20's, like me?
The game is sold, not told. And, before I'd tell it, I'd sell it!

Last edited by Just1Fan; 04-15-2012 at 09:08 PM..
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Old 04-15-2012, 08:58 PM
 
5,460 posts, read 7,735,710 times
Reputation: 4631
I would tell myself the following:

1. Work and academics aren't everything -- don't spend all your time working and studying. Life is meant to be lived also!

2. Life is serious; you can bank on that. It is inevitable -- extremely serious things such as bullying, crime, death, marriage, divorce, infirmity, disability, tragedy, unfairness and injustice, mass human suffering, and other unpleasant items can and do happen every day, and many times we are powerless to stop them. Humor alone isn't going to cut it, and if you can't see the seriousness and solemn nature of the above, how are you going to be able to effectively cope with such circumstances, when they enter your life?

3. People always say that "rejection isn't personal". Sometimes that is true -- and then again, admittedly other times, rejection *is*, in fact, 100% personal. Learn to forgive yourself, and don't beat yourself up every time, about every single rejection...and even if 100% rejection is all you've ever known.

4. Marry sooner rather than later, and as soon as possible before 30, even if other priorities such as job, academics, etc. need to slide to reach that...else you will end up over 30, totally girlfriendless, with no loving wife and utterly alone, with no one, and wondering why you missed the boat, and why you never had a real chance at love to begin with...
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:17 PM
 
2,152 posts, read 3,384,994 times
Reputation: 1695
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
I would tell myself the following:

1. Work and academics aren't everything -- don't spend all your time working and studying. Life is meant to be lived also!

2. Life is serious; you can bank on that. It is inevitable -- extremely serious things such as bullying, crime, death, marriage, divorce, infirmity, disability, tragedy, unfairness and injustice, mass human suffering, and other unpleasant items can and do happen every day, and many times we are powerless to stop them. Humor alone isn't going to cut it, and if you can't see the seriousness and solemn nature of the above, how are you going to be able to effectively cope with such circumstances, when they enter your life?

3. People always say that "rejection isn't personal". Sometimes that is true -- and then again, admittedly other times, rejection *is*, in fact, 100% personal. Learn to forgive yourself, and don't beat yourself up every time, about every single rejection...and even if 100% rejection is all you've ever known.

4. Marry sooner rather than later, and as soon as possible before 30, even if other priorities such as job, academics, etc. need to slide to reach that...else you will end up over 30, totally girlfriendless, with no loving wife and utterly alone, with no one, and wondering why you missed the boat, and why you never had a real chance at love to begin with...
geeze debbie downer much?
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:17 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
4,287 posts, read 7,992,562 times
Reputation: 3938
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
4. Marry sooner rather than later, and as soon as possible before 30, even if other priorities such as job, academics, etc. need to slide to reach that...else you will end up over 30, totally girlfriendless, with no loving wife and utterly alone, with no one, and wondering why you missed the boat, and why you never had a real chance at love to begin with...
Um.......any reason in particular for #4? I ask because A. I'm just 5.5 years away from that milestone & B. I'm on an educational & career path where I shall not be particularly stable until I'm in my 30's. So your message has been quite worrying.
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:18 PM
 
2,152 posts, read 3,384,994 times
Reputation: 1695
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I wish I had known in my 20's how much doing regular yoga would have done for me over the age of 40

Get in good exercise routines in your 20's and you'll reap the benefits decades down the line.

On the relationship front...I wish I had been quicker to understand when someone "rejected" me that it wasn't because there was anything "wrong" with me.

When mutual chemistry doesn't exist it's nobody's fault and doesn't mean you've done anything wrong.


The sooner people "get that" the happier, less jaded and whiny they'll be
i think this is the hardest thing i've been dealing with that yes I'm an ok person if i get rejected and it could be an issue with the other person
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:48 PM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,224,712 times
Reputation: 26458
Money and things don't define who you are.
Don't pick a partner using logic. Wait for love.
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:51 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,711 posts, read 11,700,540 times
Reputation: 7604
That I had A.S. and the next 10 years would be exactly the same as far as the whole 'dating, love, sex' stuff is concerned. I probably would've gave up a loooong time ago had I known this. What a waste of years and energy on a fool's errand.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
542 posts, read 1,096,076 times
Reputation: 666
I wish i knew that it was ok to be alone and just date instead of being in serious relationships. I also wish i knew that it was ok to let go of someone as soon as things start going bad, instead of hanging on and trying to prove i was the better person. I would have been better to myself if i just let go.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:13 PM
 
Location: The Present
2,006 posts, read 4,293,918 times
Reputation: 1987
I'm still in my twenties, but I wish that I had properly learned not to give an F about things earlier in life.

If I knew what I had known now, I would have been pounding away in my teens.

There's no such thing as a "safe" route. Ambition is everything.

Don't get caught up with dirty chicks or damaged goods. I nearly did but I dodged a bullet hard.

Don't be afraid to play the devil's advocate, it always helps to view things from a different perspective.

Don't sleep on anyone, a ruthless game is being played out there and people are either pimps or getting pimped hard. Don't be "simp" and definitely don't be that guy. Develop a foundation learn the game and bend the rules so they work in your favor. A good deal of the time your conditioned to think in terms of altruism and while that's nice it'll get you eaten up like a sushi special at lunchtime, hence the saying "no good deed goes unpunished".
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