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Old 09-18-2006, 10:39 AM
 
Location: PSL,FL
421 posts, read 469,004 times
Reputation: 87

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If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when " Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.


Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.


Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can ' t Get Enough " ?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.


Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
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Old 09-19-2006, 10:58 AM
MHT
 
434 posts, read 2,254,619 times
Reputation: 166
Default comedy

Great! I needed a good laugh today. Why isn't there funny stuff like that on t.v. anymore?
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Old 09-19-2006, 11:26 AM
 
Location: God's Country
23,015 posts, read 34,378,820 times
Reputation: 31644
I always watched Hollywood Squares. I loved what you posted!!!!! It did make me laugh and bring back some good memories. We need more laughter in the world today, THANK YOU!!!!!
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Old 09-19-2006, 11:44 PM
 
Location: PSL,FL
421 posts, read 469,004 times
Reputation: 87
Ah, ppl who know what's good..lol...so glad you enjoyed it..i loved Laugh-In..
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:29 AM
 
Location: Albert Lea,Mn
28 posts, read 143,118 times
Reputation: 33
Brought back memories.Thanks for the laugh.Remember the Dean Martin roasts?Way better than the retarded version on comedy central these days.
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Old 09-20-2006, 08:36 AM
 
Location: God's Country
23,015 posts, read 34,378,820 times
Reputation: 31644
Quote:
Originally Posted by pintofury View Post
Brought back memories.Thanks for the laugh.Remember the Dean Martin roasts?Way better than the retarded version on comedy central these days.
I agree!!!! They were very funny. You don't have to have a dirty mouth to be funny or naked people to make movies better.
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Old 09-20-2006, 10:30 AM
MHT
 
434 posts, read 2,254,619 times
Reputation: 166
Default comedy

I agree!! Why do they think that they have to have all the swearing and nudity to make a movie? I loved the Dean Martin roasts, Bob Newhart, Laugh-In, etc.
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Old 09-20-2006, 12:09 PM
 
Location: God's Country
23,015 posts, read 34,378,820 times
Reputation: 31644
Quote:
Originally Posted by MHT View Post
I agree!! Why do they think that they have to have all the swearing and nudity to make a movie? I loved the Dean Martin roasts, Bob Newhart, Laugh-In, etc.
I don't know, it doesn't add anything to the movie. It makes me said how easy it is accepted by people.
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Old 09-20-2006, 01:06 PM
MHT
 
434 posts, read 2,254,619 times
Reputation: 166
Default movies

Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA View Post
I don't know, it doesn't add anything to the movie. It makes me said how easy it is accepted by people.
I know what you mean. Do they think that everyone talks that way? Until the public doesn't support those movies they will keep making them. I haven't been to a movie other than an animated children's movie with my nephews for years.
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Old 09-20-2006, 01:24 PM
 
Location: God's Country
23,015 posts, read 34,378,820 times
Reputation: 31644
Quote:
Originally Posted by MHT View Post
I know what you mean. Do they think that everyone talks that way? Until the public doesn't support those movies they will keep making them. I haven't been to a movie other than an animated children's movie with my nephews for years.
Me either, when I watch tv it's the Game Show Channel (old game shows like Hollywood Sq) or TV Landland (old shows like Bob Newhart and I Love Lucy or The Weather Channel ha. I don't watch the anything on ABC,CBS or NBC.
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