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07-19-2012, 12:41 PM
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Location: Valparaiso, IN
29,675 posts, read 3,755,046 times
Reputation: 61667
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Paraprosdokians :)
Hi, everyone! I received this in an email message today and think it's great.
Makes you laugh and makes you think. Enjoy! 
Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humourous.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."
13. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
16. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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__________________
My posts as a Moderator will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS And check this out: FAQ
Moderator of Community Chat, Games/Trivia, History, Nature, Other Topics and Writing.
___________________________
~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
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07-19-2012, 12:47 PM
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Status:
"Not much time for CD these days but I'll post when I can"
(set 28 days ago)
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Location: Loudoun County, VA
15,691 posts, read 8,934,298 times
Reputation: 39276
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LOL these are great. And now I have a goal of seeing how long it takes me to use each and every one of these in a thread somewhere. Could take a few years to use all of them, but some I justmight use in certain thread topics right away!!!!  |
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07-19-2012, 12:54 PM
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Location: Valparaiso, IN
29,675 posts, read 3,755,046 times
Reputation: 61667
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium
LOL these are great. And now I have a goal of seeing how long it takes me to use each and every one of these in a thread somewhere. Could take a few years to use all of them, but some I justmight use in certain thread topics right away!!!! |
Hey, we're on the same wavelength, Caladium! I keep thinking of threads into which some of these would fit perfectly.  What a hoot!
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__________________
My posts as a Moderator will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS And check this out: FAQ
Moderator of Community Chat, Games/Trivia, History, Nature, Other Topics and Writing.
___________________________
~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
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07-19-2012, 01:24 PM
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Location: playing in the colorful Colorado dirt
4,487 posts, read 1,442,889 times
Reputation: 6685
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Awesomely funny!
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07-19-2012, 01:31 PM
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25,074 posts, read 6,179,102 times
Reputation: 41371
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Pammy these are lovely I am so glad you posted them. I will pass them on  thank u for being so thoughtful and considerate. U r the bees knees |
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07-19-2012, 02:03 PM
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Status:
"Not much time for CD these days but I'll post when I can"
(set 28 days ago)
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Location: Loudoun County, VA
15,691 posts, read 8,934,298 times
Reputation: 39276
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sun queen
U r the bees knees |
Hmmmm.... I feel inspiration coming on.... let me try my hand at this:
1. You are the bees knees. I am stung by your great find!
2. You are the bees knees. What a honey of a mod you are.
3. These quotes are the bees knees. So glad they elbowed their way into this forum. |
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07-19-2012, 02:27 PM
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Location: San Antonio
9,891 posts, read 5,047,832 times
Reputation: 13282
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Funny!!!
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07-19-2012, 02:58 PM
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Location: Somewhere I don't want to be
3,367 posts, read 1,260,640 times
Reputation: 5846
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I like that list, very good.
I especially like 3,4,5,6, 8 and 9.
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07-19-2012, 02:59 PM
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Location: England- rural
6,429 posts, read 3,339,386 times
Reputation: 11641
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Great stuff Pam- I like them! |
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07-19-2012, 03:07 PM
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Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
9,098 posts, read 7,266,772 times
Reputation: 26324
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PJ, lots of giggles in that post.
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