"I don't wanna talk about this!" ... huh? (driver, kids, topics)

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

One of my old-time buddies has a habit which pisses me off sometimes. He’s an otherwise very good friend. I am wondering if this is something that I am taking too seriously or whether I have some grounds to be bothered by this.

The man is not much of a conversationalist, and is quite limited in what he talks about.

A few months ago, we were in his car. Me, him, his 4-year-old son, and another old-time buddy of ours (a single female). We were talking about politics, then religion, and then we began to talk about gays becoming ordained. He suddenly snapped, "I don't want to talk about this!"

I responded by telling him we had said nothing bigoted or rude, but then he asked us (actually commanded us) to stop talking about that. He then said his son might understand. He insisted that we'd "be surprised" at what children understand. I was annoyed but because we were in his car, the discussion ended.

Then, a few months later, we were in another (male) friend’s car. We began to talk (in a very adult and mature way) about sexually transmitted diseases.

Now, we were not in his car this time. But, he again snapped that he "didn't want to talk about this." I was annoyed (the 3rd friend, who was the owner of the car, remained silent. Whether or not he was annoyed is another issue), and this time I said, "if you don't wanna talk about it, don't. Just listen." And the driver and I kept talking about it with no dirty jokes, in a serious manner.

I have buddies and acquaintances from diverse ethnic and cultural backgrounds, and this is the only friend who ever does this. I know that there are something which aren’t pleasant to talk about, and I also know that on occasion there are times when certain discussions should be ended. But I don’t think those 2 times qualify.

Am I being oversensitive, or is my friend out of line by snapping to us about what he does or doesn’t wanna talk about?

Note: while he’s a good friend and good person, he is a pretty narrow-minded person. Limited topics of conversation aren’t the only example, but it’s the one that is most appropriate for me to ask you guys whether he’s being rude or whether I’m taking this too far.

[fuzzymystic]

hmmm...looks like nobody wants to talk about it!
But seriously, gays becoming ordained in what religion? Gay priests? Yes, a 4 year old might know what a priest is, but how would you explain to a young kid that priests are celibate? And then, how would you explain why being gay would affect being a priest, since they are celibate? You would absolutely be surprised at what kids can understand, and if they can't understand it, they can probably-even at that age-google it!

[South Range Family]

He's not being rude, he just has ostrich syndrome. There are some subjects that he is uncomfortable with so he buries his head in the sand, and pretends that they don't exist.
It's an immature way to deal with things. I'm sure that you already figured out that he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. You have to either accept him for what he is, or find friends that are more intellectually your equals. He's not going to get any smarter.

[jonjj]

I say accept the guy for who he is. Every person you know has his or her quirks. The longer you know someone, the more obvious the quirks will be. If you want his friendship, ask him when you are alone if there are any topics he prefer not to discuss. If you value his friendship, leave it at that.

[Marylandkitten]

I agree with South... it is immature.

If you stop coddling people's tantrums, they either give up and stop throwing them, or take offense and move on to friends who "will".

My advice would be... to never be at the disadvantage of being in his car for politeness' sake. That way when you choose to talk about something he may flip out about, he has no ground to stand on. If he doesn't want to participate in coversation that's fine ~ if he starts stomping and demanding that the world ceases to exist in relation to your topic of conversation... uh... time to boot him from the car. lol It's childish. He either needs to learn to deal with it, or accept the fact that being so stingy when it comes to what he allows people to talk about around him may find him a loner.