|
01-29-2008, 10:31 AM
|
|
Senior Member
Status:
"still unpacking..."
(set 8 days ago)
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2007
3,066 posts, read 2,187,513 times
Reputation: 2683
|
|
Funny: Australian Tourism Board
 
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not .... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? ( USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum.(USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
|
|
01-29-2008, 10:36 AM
|
|
Senior Moments!
Status:
"reefer madness: reefer quits when hauling dairy stuff"
(set 9 days ago)
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2007
4,376 posts, read 3,374,755 times
Reputation: 5705
|
|
LOVED 'em all! |
|
01-29-2008, 03:11 PM
|
|
Livin Life Down A Long Dirt Road
Status:
"Hangin in Naptowne..."
(set 10 days ago)
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: I live in Alaska but my heart is in Sweden
10,817 posts, read 8,610,801 times
Reputation: 7923
|
|
|
Which way is north in Austrailia! Ahahahahahahaah...
__________________
People may doubt what you say...but they will believe what you do...
|
|
01-29-2008, 05:30 PM
|
|
No longer a member
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2007
4,834 posts, read 1,682,567 times
Reputation: 2197
|
|
Excellent post...too funny! Those Aussies sure have a different sense of humor. |
|
01-29-2008, 06:53 PM
|
|
Attitude Of Gratitude
|
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
17,357 posts, read 5,821,309 times
Reputation: 21378
|
|
Quote:
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
|
LOL... They're all hillarious, but the one above is the best!  |
|
01-30-2008, 12:44 AM
|
|
_______________
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont / NEK
3,341 posts, read 2,711,820 times
Reputation: 4160
|
|
|
Nine of those Qs came from the states. Once again, it looks as though America wins.
Loved the responses.
|
|
01-30-2008, 04:00 PM
|
|
Visitor from Planet Quatt =^..^=
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Cosmic Consciousness
3,861 posts, read 3,686,991 times
Reputation: 1819
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by southdown
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.(USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
|
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Yes, so harmless!!! Love it love it love it, love it all!! Thanx so much!!! Fabulous!!! |
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
|
|
Welcome to City-Data.com forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with 700,000 other registered members. User profiles and some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your free account you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 15,000 posts/day about local topics and you will see fewer ads. 
Linear Mode
