Funny Final Headlines (penny, name, wife, children)

[fuzzymystic]

I want this on my epitaph,
(insert my name here)
loved to laugh!

Here are some actual ones:

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.
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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the Good Die Young.
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In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
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In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna.
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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.
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A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.
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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
==============================
In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
=================================
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
dig six feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
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In a Hartscombe, England cemetery:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
==================================
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
==================================
In a cemetery in England :
Remember man, as you walk by,
as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you, I'll not consent
until I know which way you went.

[Northwoods Voyager]

Just what I needed to read on a gloomy, overcast and cold afternoon. Good one fuzzy.

[thefer]

In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna.

I want this one on my husbands!! I love it!! lol
Thanks for the laugh Fuzzy!