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Growing up on a farm in Northeastern Indiana, back in 60's, I knew nothing about being "open-minded". I don't even thing the wording even exsisted back then. I didn't even hear the wording while I was in the Navy, stationed in San Diego, Ca. in the 60's/70's. It wasn't until I got out of the Navy and decided to continue living in Southern California for a while that I stated hearing the words "open-minded". When I got into civilian life, I found out very fast just how "faced-paced" and how "anything goes" Southern Californa really was. Coming from farm type lifestyle and really never letting go of (in my mind) that lifestyle, I had real problems living in Southern Calif. If I would say "no" to certain things, people there would say to me, "you need to be more open-minded".
Well, I got married and moved here to Colorado, which I think is much better. I'm not told here to be more "open-minded" like I was there.
It is so bad NOT being so "open-minded" and not accepting anything/everything that goes on? From being around me (and out of Calif), my wife is less "open-minded" than she use to be. She is originally from Michigan, which like Indiana, just isn't that "open-minded".
There are just some things in life that some people just refuse to be/change and one of mine is "being open-minded". From traveling thru Montana, Wyoming, Kansas, Oklahoma and some other States......I have talked to a number of people there that don't like being "open-minded" that much.
You comments (bad/good/indifferent) will be appreciated.
I have come to dislike many of the catch phrases that our society uses. To me, being told to be "open minded" means: Your morality does not match my morality, so you should "open your closed mind" and take on my morality, or at least be quiet about it so I don't have to hear about it from you.
Most likely not everyone that does a reply to this Thread will agree with you and us, but we think your reply is GREAT!! If there are certain things in society I DON'T want to accept, please don't try to MAKE me accept them. The more people tell me "your wrong" for not feeling this way or that, the more I will rebel.
I don't think there is anything wrong with having an open mind about ideas others want to present. What that means to me is hearing them out and making up my own mind as to whether I want to accept or reject what they are saying. Being open-minded does not mean you have to be swayed by someone elses beliefs or thoughts.
I agree with Twinkle Toes. Being open minded doesn't necessarily mean having to adopt other's beliefs, especially when they're patently incompatible with yours, it simply means instead of brushing them off because you believe they are wrong, you give them the respect of airtime...
In that respect...I'm growing less "open-minded"..
I also agree with Twinkle Toes & Momark, just because your open minded doesn't mean you have to change your mind or opinion. It just allows you to open your mind to other ideas and maybe learn something or become more tolerable. Life's so short I don't know why anyone would be closed minded and not try to learn something new and be open to new possibilities.
I agree with Twinkle Toes. Being open minded doesn't necessarily mean having to adopt other's beliefs, especially when they're patently incompatible with yours, it simply means instead of brushing them off because you believe they are wrong, you give them the respect of airtime...
In that respect...I'm growing less "open-minded"..
I certainly agree with the philosophy of this point and think in the purest form, it is what the term "open minded" means. But:
Here is what I see in converstion as being pretty standard (and where I believe the original post was seeing).
"I don't believe in Gay Marriage"
"hey, you have to be more open minded"
You can replace "gay marriage" with most social topics and get the same outcome.
I believe this "catch phrase" conveys a much darker side than just "you should listen opposing sides". It asks (not requires) for this person to change their believe in that by "opening" their mind means that they will accept a different belief, or tollerate this belief. This is born out be the fact that the statement was not "you should not believe in gay marriage...", but it was a statement of personal belief.
As an exteme example (underline extreme), let's say somebody where to tell you that they believe that having S ex with children was perfectly acceptable. If you had, and stated your strong belief that this was wrong to do, would you be willing to then have an "open mind" to the thoughts and ideas of a Pedophile? They exist and are a social slice of our society, but could you ever conceive of accepting this behavior? If your answer is "no", then you are, in terms of how the "open minded" converstion is handled, closed minded.
I also find that some who think they have an open mind, when they hear my beliefs become the most closed mided and intollerant people I know.
In City-data I have found that the vast majority of poster are actually closed minded to their social/political beliefs, meaning that nothing anyone says will change their minds, but are open to discussing these differences. This I believe is healthy and is why I really enjoy participating with the forums, for is a true case of having an "open mind".
While living in Southern Calif., I was told that I should be completely
"open-minded" (and accepting) about gay people including marriage, having/adopting kids and living locations. And, not to start a war in this Forum, but IMO (and my wife's).....if we don't want to believe in gay marriage, or gays having/adopting kids (no matter what your sexual preference is, people MUST think about kids: how they will be raised and who they are raised by) and, not everyone wants to live by a gay couple.
I was also told to be "open-minded" (tolerating) of body piercings/tattoos.
If we don't like the body piercings and tattoos, should that be ok also???
Shouldn't those opinions be ok to express. I keep reading in this Forum about how we all live in the U.S. and have the RIGHT to express opinions.
Fact is, there are two gay people where I work at and I talk to both of them...not shun or ignore them. I'm polite. I'm friendly, but that is where it stops. The wife and I are polite to people with body piercings/tattoos, but being polite sure doesn't mean we think it's "cool" looking.
We think it's one thing being a descent listener, but being PUSHED into believing things we don't want ot believe in, is a totally different thing.
Here is what I see in converstion as being pretty standard (and where I believe the original post was seeing).
"I don't believe in Gay Marriage"
"hey, you have to be more open minded"
You can replace "gay marriage" with most social topics and get the same outcome.
Exactly, and I think that's what this thread is probably about (topics like gay marriage and many others). Why does the "open mind" have to be only on the side of the person who ACCEPTS the more challenging view? Would a gay activist be open-minded to a religious fundamentalist who doesn't believe in gay marriage? Being open-minded means open and that is not a one-directional exchange of ideas!
Quote:
Originally Posted by the dufferz
As an exteme example (underline extreme), let's say somebody where to tell you that they believe that having S ex with children was perfectly acceptable. If you had, and stated your strong belief that this was wrong to do, would you be willing to then have an "open mind" to the thoughts and ideas of a Pedophile?
I do personally believe in being open-minded to HEARING them. If Osama bin Laden came over to my house, I would listen to him. I want to understand people, even if I think they are "the enemy" because the more I understand about others, the smarter my choices will be.
For example, if you listen to the viewpoint of pedos, then you can learn more about how to protect children. When your mind is closed to hearing what they have to say and what they feel, then you lose the opportunity to learn valuable information that can help you and others live a better life. And you might even learn that there are p-philes who are not "evil" because they don't act out their fantasies, it's just a feeling they have that they cannot control. In this case, you might be able to help them channel those feelings toward something that would help them relieve the stress that could cause them to act out and harm a child.
We must always remember the goals of our values. Why do we dislike p-philes? Because many of them harm children. So our real goal is to protect children, not to hate p-philes.
Going back to the less controversial issue of gay marriage, what is the real goal of people who are opposed to it? Most say that it would violate the sanctity of marriage. Now this is an interesting argument because the idea of marriage in our culture is largely based on religion and procreation. Therefore, the word "marriage" is almost OWNED by straight people who are religious. It has already changed to include people who are atheists or any other type of belief, but only if they're a man and woman. Did that change violate anyone's marriage?
Now what if we push the boundaries farther --- if 2 men or 2 women get married, how does that really affect you in your own personal marriage? I don't understand why people would be offended or upset by this, but I am open-minded to the views of people who want to close the definition of marriage. I honestly don't care, I don't think it matters one way or the other, but it's one of those values that people are passionate about so I am open-minded to both sides. Maybe if I had a passionate belief I wouldn't be open-minded, I don't know....
You see what I'm doing? I'm waffling! Our culture (and most cultures) place a high value on NOT being open-minded! We say that it's good to be open-minded, but if you look at how people behave you will see that truly open-minded people are not respected. Bill Clinton was a fairly open-minded president and he was attacked for it and called a "waffler." Well, I proudly call myself a waffler because I am always open to new points of view and I often change my mind.
Nobody knows the Truth, we are always learning. A person who is stuck in one point of view has stopped learning and those are the people who believe the world is flat. Knowledge is advanced by people who are open to new ideas, who are seeking and who freely admit that they do not know everything. We are all using this thing called the Internet to communicate. One thing we know about the Internet is that the people who created it were open-minded enough to learn how to invent something that few people thought was possible 30 years ago. The fact that you are each here using this new medium is proof that you are at least open-minded enough to accept new technology and new methods of communication, and you are willing to share your thoughts with complete strangers!
While living in Southern Calif., I was told that I should be completely
"open-minded" (and accepting) about gay people including marriage, having/adopting kids and living locations. And, not to start a war in this Forum, but IMO (and my wife's).....if we don't want to believe in gay marriage, or gays having/adopting kids (no matter what your sexual preference is, people MUST think about kids: how they will be raised and who they are raised by) and, not everyone wants to live by a gay couple.
I was also told to be "open-minded" (tolerating) of body piercings/tattoos.
If we don't like the body piercings and tattoos, should that be ok also???
Shouldn't those opinions be ok to express. I keep reading in this Forum about how we all live in the U.S. and have the RIGHT to express opinions.
Fact is, there are two gay people where I work at and I talk to both of them...not shun or ignore them. I'm polite. I'm friendly, but that is where it stops. The wife and I are polite to people with body piercings/tattoos, but being polite sure doesn't mean we think it's "cool" looking.
We think it's one thing being a descent listener, but being PUSHED into believing things we don't want ot believe in, is a totally different thing.
It's interesting what people are open to versus what they're not open to. For me gay couples just aren't a big deal and I have no problem with them raising children. I know a divorced dad who's gay who's a great dad and his children adore him. I honestly don't think they're freaked out or love him any less. Then you could have been raised by my dad, straight, but an absolute a-hole with a drinking problem and an inability to tell the truth! I'd take a gay dad who was a good dad over my own any day! But, I understand that that is a sensitive issue and how you perceive it is how you perceive it.
When it comes to extensive tattoos and piercings...I just have problems with it. I kind of unintentionally react with people who do that the way I do with people whom I find out are Scientologists...as soon as I become aware of that I'm like; "I'm outta here!" I realize it doesn't affect their brains or what kind of people they are socially for the most part, but I have trouble overcoming my revulsion and I have to dig to find and show respect for them. It's not fair to them I know, but that's my instant gut reaction. But I could work with them and be polite and keep it professional no problem. Heaven forbid they start going outside professionalism into their beliefs though or I'd be: "OK, beam up to your flying saucer with your Thetan pals and your big shoes and vamoose!". I'm not open to hearing about it or being solicited. That to me is crossing the line if it's not invited by me first.
Here on this forum I ran into a Buddhist who proceeded generally to declare what about Christianity is relevant and what isn't and said that Jesus has no bearing to the admonitions of Leviticus or the New Testament, completely illustrating a complete lack of knowledge about what Christianity is or the unity of scriptures, or even tying Jesus to the Godhead (why would God the Father inspire the Old Testament only to have God the Son completely oppose it???). So I challenged the statement and openly said..."I'm sorry, you don't know what you're talking about." Well, for that I was informed I have a lack of "intelligence"!!! Open-mindedness doesn't mean accepting pure crap from people who are ignorant in what they're talking about and I'm not one who'll keep my mouth shut in the name of political correctness to ignore such ignorance. So, I guess on the surface it comes down to separating private from public and as long as different incompatible opinions meet on a professional level that doesn't interfere with that goal, we can all tolerate each other. That to me is open-mindedness. It doesn't mean having to accept the other's viewpoint or abstaining from pointing out misinformation or false facts.
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You see what I'm doing? I'm waffling! Our culture (and most cultures) place a high value on NOT being open-minded! We say that it's good to be open-minded, but if you look at how people behave you will see that truly open-minded people are not respected. Bill Clinton was a fairly open-minded president and he was attacked for it and called a "waffler." Well, I proudly call myself a waffler because I am always open to new points of view and I often change my mind. 
