Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Other Topics
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-05-2016, 07:15 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,833,960 times
Reputation: 17884

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Star10101 View Post
I haven't regretted too much in my life. I'm lucky in that I've got to do most of the things that I have wanted to do (mostly through planning out my life, and then working hard towards my goals).

But I am trying to change things, and I'm planning to move back to England. It will be a better life for my daughter, with more prospects. However, I feel in a bit of a dilemma as it is a huge upheaval, with my daughter having to change schools. Plus I don't know what the hell I will be doing, when I get there. It is all up in the air at the moment. But I know that eventually we will have a better quality of life, so it will all be worth it in the end.

Sometimes, you just have to take a chance in life, otherwise you will always just be stuck with your life as it is.
I had to do that too, I knew it was best for both of us, but the indecision can be paralyzing! I look back and know it was the best choice I've ever made yet. When you know your doing something that will ultimately benefit her it's easier to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It'll be a positive learning lesson for her, too, watching how brave you are to make changes and everything turns out well! Good luck

I haven't regretted too much, I wish would've gotten out of my dysfunctional marriage earlier, but I was terrified and left when I was ready.

*I'm with you, Chow-- I've been burned out of my career choices 2 or 3 times in my adult life. I went back to school twice and started all over again. You have to do what makes you happy, you can always adjust your lifestyle if you have to, as you already know!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-05-2016, 07:39 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,958 posts, read 52,386,711 times
Reputation: 52452
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratherbcrazycatlady View Post
I had to do that too, I knew it was best for both of us, but the indecision can be paralyzing! I look back and know it was the best choice I've ever made yet. When you know your doing something that will ultimately benefit her it's easier to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It'll be a positive learning lesson for her, too, watching how brave you are to make changes and everything turns out well! Good luck

I haven't regretted too much, I wish would've gotten out of my dysfunctional marriage earlier, but I was terrified and left when I was ready.

*I'm with you, Chow-- I've been burned out of my career choices 2 or 3 times in my adult life. I went back to school twice and started all over again. You have to do what makes you happy, you can always adjust your lifestyle if you have to, as you already know!
The adjusting to not having "rank" in a new career would be rough, I'm a veteran in my line of work as I've been doing it 24 yrs and I'm used to telling people what to do. I've also made really pretty good money so the "starting over" part is going to be rough, but I have to figure out what is important and go for it, I suppose.

I grew up pretty poor, never missed any meals, but looking back at my upbringing to say it was modest would be well, modest, LOl. So once I got older and started making pretty good money it was nice to not worry about paying the bills and all that goes with having a good income. That lifestyle came at a price as I was always stressed out and worried way too much about work. I'm presently not employed but will be again in the fairly near future here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-06-2016, 09:25 AM
 
Location: South Wales, United Kingdom
5,238 posts, read 4,034,995 times
Reputation: 4245
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratherbcrazycatlady View Post
I had to do that too, I knew it was best for both of us, but the indecision can be paralyzing! I look back and know it was the best choice I've ever made yet. When you know your doing something that will ultimately benefit her it's easier to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It'll be a positive learning lesson for her, too, watching how brave you are to make changes and everything turns out well! Good luck

I haven't regretted too much, I wish would've gotten out of my dysfunctional marriage earlier, but I was terrified and left when I was ready.
Thanks. Yes, I think that you know in yourself, when something is the right choice. I'm glad things worked out well for you in the end.

I have no indecision about this choice, really - I'd move tomorrow if I could! My husband feels the same way too. But other things are keeping us where we are for the time being. We have a 2-3 year plan, where we hope to move within this time scale. I am literally counting down the days and months though!

I'm glad you managed to get out of your dysfunctional marriage. Although I'm not in a dysfunctional marriage, I do have a lot of dysfunctional people in my family, who seem to thrive on making a drama out of everything. So I'll be glad to get away from them when I move, and they are also one of the reasons I am moving.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-06-2016, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX & AL Gulf Coast
6,848 posts, read 11,768,856 times
Reputation: 33430
.
Regrets? I've had a few... but then again, too few to mention!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-U440tU5CA
.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2016, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
18,748 posts, read 11,735,644 times
Reputation: 64084
Are you having a mid life crisis Chowhound? John went through something similar at around 45 or 46. He hated his job, he hated his life and he was desperate for a change. I told him to go back to school and do something else but he didn't want to do that either. He didn't want to work at all which was not an option. His mid life crisis nearly had us in divorce court.

We all come to that stage in our life when we face the fact that we are on the verge of being obsolete in the work force. It is indeed an uncertain and depressing realization. For some it gets blown out of proportion, and they start making panic decisions with disastrous results. (Who are you strange man and what have you done to my knight in shining armor?)

Yes it's romantic to think about changing your life, but the reality is that it could determine whether you spend the rest of your life working or having a comfortable retirement in 15 years. Someone in your age group who in now unemployable would kill to have your secure, albeit boring job. Who's to say that the next job will be permanent or any better?

John is on the other side of the coin now and has been retired for 3 years now with a great pension. He says he's glad he stayed and sucked it up because now it's so worth it.

I'm not saying not to change your life, especially if it's for a better job, more pay, and job security. You would be foolish not to. Just think long and hard about your choices lest you wind up in the under employed or unemployable category. There was a point that I didn't care what I had to do as long as I was making money towards my financial goals. They were at the top of my priority list. Work satisfaction wasn't important. It was just a tool that I needed to make it work. When I jumped jobs it was always for more money, and yes I grew to be totally burned out at each one. It is what it is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2016, 02:26 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,958 posts, read 52,386,711 times
Reputation: 52452
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
Are you having a mid life crisis Chowhound? John went through something similar at around 45 or 46. He hated his job, he hated his life and he was desperate for a change. I told him to go back to school and do something else but he didn't want to do that either. He didn't want to work at all which was not an option. His mid life crisis nearly had us in divorce court.

We all come to that stage in our life when we face the fact that we are on the verge of being obsolete in the work force. It is indeed an uncertain and depressing realization. For some it gets blown out of proportion, and they start making panic decisions with disastrous results. (Who are you strange man and what have you done to my knight in shining armor?)

Yes it's romantic to think about changing your life, but the reality is that it could determine whether you spend the rest of your life working or having a comfortable retirement in 15 years. Someone in your age group who in now unemployable would kill to have your secure, albeit boring job. Who's to say that the next job will be permanent or any better?

John is on the other side of the coin now and has been retired for 3 years now with a great pension. He says he's glad he stayed and sucked it up because now it's so worth it.

I'm not saying not to change your life, especially if it's for a better job, more pay, and job security. You would be foolish not to. Just think long and hard about your choices lest you wind up in the under employed or unemployable category. There was a point that I didn't care what I had to do as long as I was making money towards my financial goals. They were at the top of my priority list. Work satisfaction wasn't important. It was just a tool that I needed to make it work. When I jumped jobs it was always for more money, and yes I grew to be totally burned out at each one. It is what it is.

I don't think it's a mid-life crisis per se, I've been sick of this line of work for a good while now, probably about 8 to 10 years now and I really wished I would have made some changes back then, but it is what it is what it is at this point. It's the stress I can't take anymore I've always been a person that worries about things and tries to keep things "in control" Maybe there's some seminars somewhere that I could learn some techniques in how to deal with stress. I don't know off the top of my head. I've objectively looked at it and my stress is probably about 75 percent real and with my personality type adding a bit to the mix obviously. I've come to this conclusion by sitting down with Mrs. Chow and laying out some of the things I have to deal with on a more difficult day and she pretty much gave me this face


So, I'm probably gonna to see if I can change my job role that I do or see if I can move my skill set to something else, IDK. I am starting to get concerned about age discrimination. I don't think it's a major problem at 47 if I stay somewhat within my industry, but to go to something completely different, not sure if a lot of companies would take me, again, some college kid right out of school would probably work for cheaper and they can "grow them" I've heard that term used a few times in my industry and talking with management and all. It can be subtle but still there.


IDK, like I said this so far is probably my biggest regret not taking the bull by the horns when I should have. In my industry we work on "projects" and each project could last from 2 months to 6 months. I would get on a really crappy project and be like damn, this is why I don't wanna be in this line of work anymore. Then after that I might have a project or two that isn't as bad, some headaches but doable and this pattern is probably how I settled into not making changes when I should have. I'd get a get a few good ones and be ok for a bit. I really think that is how I managed to stay for so long, when I probably should have made other plans. Basically would get lazy and coast. I also like I said was making good money so good money a bit of laziness and here I am, 10 years passed by. LOL. I've been in this line of work for about 24 years now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2016, 04:45 PM
 
Location: kill urself
51 posts, read 43,625 times
Reputation: 77
Angry my bad decision that changed my life for the worst (share yours)

ok so i was living under a guy we will call him peter. peter would party all night above me and do drugs and all kind of crap so i could never sleep when i wanted to, it also meant i could never get up when i wanted to because i got too tired. i got fired from my job because i got so physically ill and emotionally angered from tiredness that i could not function property. (i was living in supported accommodation, and the staff would get off at 11:30)

so i couldn't do anything about it, if i called the police he would know who it was and trust me, peter was not the sort of guy you wanted to start beef with. one lucky day i got My band B and was able to bid on a house/flat to move out of that craphole and BAM. found one.

the next day i organise a viewing and it was small, but perfect. it was close to town. it seem'd quite as HELL at the time. i would go back to decorate at different times. sometimes night and sometimes morning it was quiet. Little did i know of the crap storm to come...


so settled in.. about a year or two later someone throws up right outside the building. below my window funny enough. and then from that night on.... it would happen so much it seem'd like a cruel joke was being played on me.

neighbours got noisy, streets were noisy because of pubs. people would pee and vomit down the pathway of the building. all the way from 2013 to 2016 it has been getting worse. people went from partying till 1 in the morning to 4 in the morning... i hear people throw up outside ALMOST everyday. it honestly does seem like a huge joke being played on me.

whats worse you ask? well the fact i have something called emetophobia. (fear of vomit) and ironically i move to a place where you might as well make shoes out of vomit it is THAT bad. funny in a messed up way.
You might be asking, why can't you move? oh i have tried but someone ALWAYS gets to the papers of the property first. ALWAYS . i have seen at least 10 places. So to sum up, i can't sleep again, i have to deal with my phobia daily, and i have gained weight from odd eating/sleeping habits.

so.. tell me what bad decision you made that changed your life for the worst?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2017, 08:57 PM
 
27,264 posts, read 27,326,525 times
Reputation: 45777
I regret leaving Wisconsin. I could have stayed, and now wish I did, since actually it was an element (person) that was my reason for leaving, things were good and I was happy otherwise. It was someplace I could have stayed the rest of my life and finally quit moving. But my bucket list includes one more move, which will be my last one, and who knows, maybe somehow one day I'll go home! Hey it don't hurt to wish, ya know....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:23 AM
 
Location: England
26,273 posts, read 8,393,082 times
Reputation: 31334
I wouldn't know where to start with my regrets. It's best not to think too much about them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-15-2017, 02:41 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,572 posts, read 8,992,582 times
Reputation: 17937
Quote:
Originally Posted by English Dave View Post
I wouldn't know where to start with my regrets. It's best not to think too much about them.
I agree with this - I hear so many people say they have no regrets - how is that possible?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Other Topics
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top