Todays question Monday 2-25-08 (daughter, pregnant, get out of, name)

[Karla with a K]

Good morning everyone
Yesterday at breakfast somehow the conversation turned to things that have just "popped out of our mouths before we could stop them"
Our one friend had us rolling with a few of his "gems" So today needing some laughs I decided with the "uniqueness" of our wonderful posters here is
Todays question:

Tell us your funniest "omg I wish I could of hit rewound" or "Open mouth, insert foot" moments"

Quintuple credit will go out to those that "send the drink spewing all over the computer"


Today in history:

February 25, 1751 1st performing monkey exhibited in America, New York City (admission 1cent)

Word of the day:

lissom \LISS-uhm\, adjective;
1. Limber; supple; flexible.
2. Light and quick in action; nimble; agile; active.


Today is National Chocolate-Covered Nuts Day
it is also
National Let's All Eat Right Day

lol I have no problem eating right through a box of chocolate covered nuts

[RuralCoastalGuy]

Well, Karla, once when my dear Mom-In-Law was alive and living with us, we were watching a Yankee/Red Sox ball game and The Sox were ahead by a run with one Yankee left to bat. The Yankees had 2 outs and the last batter had no balls and 2 strikes.
Well, ma'am, that Yankee hit the ball over the fence with a man on base and the &^*&^%$ Yankees won by a run...but the ball looked like it went foul...and I yelled out "No f&^*&^% Way!!!
You should have seen my face and I would have given anything to be able to re run that day. Auntie Batz turned red, blue and green but Mom just sat there and said, "Mike sure loves baseball doesn't he?".

My confession for today...

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by UncleBatz

..fence with a man on base and the &^*&^%$ Yankees won by a run...but the ball looked like it went foul...and I yelled out "No f&^*&^% Way!!!
You should have seen my face and I would have given anything to be able to re run that day. Auntie Batz turned red, blue and green but Mom just sat there and said, "Mike sure loves baseball doesn't he?".

My confession for today...

Confession.. I think you gotta do 20 Hail Marys also UB.

[tlb71]

Periodically I go over to the local recreation area to hit a few tennis balls at the practice wall. On more than one occasion I bumped into my husbands boss as his daughters play soccer and the fields are next to the courts.
One day at work he mentioned it to my husband in front of another guy(they all have pretty good senses of humor) that he saw me and said "oh, btw, do those tennis lessons come with anything extra?" The other guy then said "yeah, I saw her too and it didn't seem hot enough for him to have his shirt off". My husband knows I don't have an instructor, as he has seen me play, but went along with the joke at his expense and laughed, then pretended to be confused and call me to ask me about it.
Well the next day I met my husband at the office for lunch and a small group, including his boss were gathering in the lobby. We chit-chatted for a bit, then there was a lull in the conversation so I said "BTW, tell your wife thanks for introducing me to her tennis instructor."
The guy turned about 3 shades of red, and for once had no response. I don't know if he was embarrassed that I knew he made a joke about me having a relationship with a pretend instructor, or the fact that I said his wife introduced us. The room was dead silent for what seemed like forever and I wanted to crawl under the desk.

[mdtoaz]

So, I was at a Halloween party when I was around 21. We were all doing a little drinking (although this is no excuse). There were a few of us at a table talking (and somewhat bored) and someone came up with a "game"... if you could have any chronic disease, what would you have.

I chime in saying that I would have Tourettes Syndrome and started to rattle off why that would be my choice. Everyone on the opposite side of the table (whom I had just met that night) got very quiet, until one spoke up that the guy to his right has tourette's.

Needless to say, I wanted to crawl under the table. The worst thing?? It was his idea to play the "illness game".

[Karla with a K]

ok not sure if I mentioned this before
I teach one day a week at school, well after not being in class for a couple weeks we came back and the one teacher looked like she was 7 months pregnant now I have seen women who don't show one month then the next month look like there ready to give birth.
So did I do what every normal person would do and ask the other teacher??

NOOOOOO!!!! of course not

So I ask "are you pregnant?"
She gave me this look and said "no"
and before I could stop it out of my mouth came
"are you sure"

omg I wanted to just disappear
I mumbled something about having a dream where she had a baby

Too late the foot was not only in the mouth but far enough down that I could of tickled my tummy with my toes

[mdtoaz]

Originally Posted by Karla with a K

omg I wanted to just disappear
I mumbled something about having a dream where she had a baby

LOL!! Nice cover.

I never, ever ask if someone's pregnant unless they are waving around their sonogram picture... and even then I'm a little hesitant.

Let's just say, I learned the hard way.

[tulegirl]

Originally Posted by Karla with a K

and before I could stop it out of my mouth came
"are you sure"

"Are you sure?" THAT is priceless!

And I agree w/ mdtoaz - great save....

the funniest "rewind" moment I can remember right now was something my boss said... I'll have to think harder. Hope I don't hurt myself...

[nomoresnow]

I couldn't think of anything right off the bat, till I read Karla's.

One day at work, I was sitting at my desk, when this very pregnant co-worker waddled thru the door. I said, "Gee, your belly comes into the room 5 minutes before the rest of you!" Never having been pregnant myself, I didn't realize how that could affect somebody. She just burst into tears and waddled as fast as she could to her desk. I felt like the meanest person on earth.

[Denise in Fla]

Okay, here's my story- Hubby and I had gone to our local "cheers" pub for a sandwich and a few cocktails. I needed to use the ladies room, I had put toilet paper on the seat, my usual routine. I finnish and walk back to my booth, slide in and we continue our lunch and cocktail. As we are leaving, I slide out of the booth and start walking to the door. Hubby is calling my name in a low voice, I turn around and he is laughing, trying not to draw attention to my backside. He points at me, I turn around and there is a piece of toilet paper that is hanging from my waist to my knees! Apparently it caught in my waistband of my pants. Mind you, you have to walk around a BIG horse shoe shaped bar! You would think after sliding in and out of a booth it would of ripped? I was so embarassed I couldn't get out of the door fast enough!