Lazy Sister/Roommate (house, to live, daughter, places)

[FrustratedSibling]

Please help? My older sister and I share an apartment. My 16-year-old daughter also lives with us. We have now shared living space for going on 3 years. My sister is so lazy she has not unpacked from the move to this apartment, and she is walking on heaps of trash and dirty clothes in her room. She does not help out with cleaning (bathroom, vacuuming, dishes, etc...) She has vacuumed the living room once within the 3 years, I think she's done the dishes like 4 times, and she cleaned the bathroom once. I am sick and tired of her! I know she suffers with depression, but she seems to make time to do other things. She sits up on the computer for hours at a time, she walks to the store, she chats with her friends, she goes to work and does a good job, so I don't get why she refuses to help around the house. My daughter feels like we are her servants, constantly cleaning up after her. She cooks and eats and then leaves the dishes for me and my daughter to clean. She never takes out the trash and she orders take out alot, so trash piles up quickly. It seems she is half lazy--she has full energy to do the things she loves to do--eat, pray(???), surf the web, go walking and hanging out with her friends, and more... She has done the same thing at other places with other roommates too. What is her problem?? I love my sister, but she's getting on my nerves. I think the last straw was when I just recently became so sick of cleaning up her dishes, that I cleaned up after her one final time and then I purchased paper plates and plastic cups and eating utensils. Guess what?? All she would have to do is eat and throw away. Well, she still uses the dishes and then sits them in the sink for me and my daughter to clean. One time, I refused to clean up after her and we ended up with gnats and there were worms in her crockpot that I had to throw out because she let it sit for several months. I ended up paying for that, but I just wanted to show her I was not going to clean up after her. Well, she won again! I ended up restoring the house and my daughter and I suffered through the filth and still ended up having to clean up!! Any suggestions??

[ellie]

Move out. If she's able to function in society, has a job, etc., she's not your problem. Move out.

[agreatlife]

Move out. Quickly.

[LaceyEx]

Give her a deadline to move-after all she's already packed!!!!

[tet tea]

Tough love.

Time to give her an ultimatum and a timeline in which to get her act and mess together.

Good luck!

[115db]

Originally Posted by ellie

Move out. If she's able to function in society, has a job, etc., she's not your problem. Move out.

I was pretty much thinking the same: One of you needs to move.

[Rance]

She's taking full advantage of you and your daughter. As long as you let her get away with it...she's going to get away with it. Do the right thing. Show her the door or start packing your stuff.

[Redrover]

Move out. You have a responsibility to your daughter to provide a safe and healthy environment for her to live in and your sister is making that impossible. Even though you love your sister (and I assume you do), you are enabling her behavior in much the same was as if she was any other type of addict (drugs, alcohol, etc.). She is disrespecting you (and your daughter) and your continuing to allow her to treat you both like that is doing none of you any good. You and your daughter deserve better so go out this weekend and start looking for a new apartment. Also, be sure that when you move out you notify all the utilities and any other shared services you may have. Be prepared for a very angry and then remorseful sister - she will likely swear to improve but you have given her more than enough time to reform her behavior. Good luck to you and your daughter - life is about to get so much better for both of you.