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Old 04-25-2008, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
167 posts, read 361,799 times
Reputation: 383
Unhappy Moving to a new state. Am I crazy?

I am planning to move to another state in a couple of months. Been researching the place for the last year, visited a couple of times. I am moving there without a job, but have enough savings to last me about a year. Of course I am hoping to get a job sooner than that.
My daughter is graduating high school and will go to college in the new state. Lately, everyone I talk to looks at me strange – they say it’s crazy to move to unknown place, with no friends or relatives there, alone without a husband, and leaving a good paying and steady job here with no prospects there. I am starting to doubt myself. Am I brave or just plain crazy? I would love to hear from anyone who moved alone and it worked out, or not…

What do you think of my situation? I am crazy?
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Old 04-25-2008, 11:08 AM
 
173 posts, read 418,424 times
Reputation: 94
Sounds like you have everything planned well enough. It's a huge leap of faith to start over for anyone in a new place, but the magnitude of it all is overwhelming as a single parent. I know I can't even mention my goals for moving anymore because I'm so disheartened by everyone's negative comments. I've heard it all --"you don't know anyone there" "what if there's an emergency, who can you call" "you'll never last in a whole new state" etc. etc. Add that to having the responsibility of trying to find a decent safe place for the kids & it's a lot to think about. I think it all comes down to you have to do what makes you happy & stop listening to everybody else. You only live once, so follow your bliss.
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Old 04-25-2008, 11:26 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW / CO / SA TX / Thailand
10,792 posts, read 17,551,869 times
Reputation: 7696
Good Choice !

As long as you plan well, and expect a few hic-cups it should be fine.

Hopefully you've done some research and have narrowed your options to assure success.

I think it would be refreshing and a good adventure and a way to 'branch-out' your interests, skills and knowledge. (take some classes at your new location, it is a great way to meet folks)

(I've recently been using cheap airfares to explore new locations myself)

Here is a lengthy post you might enjoy - these are 'early' retiree's...(40's, 50's, 60's)
http://www.city-data.com/forum/retir...ity-state.html

Last edited by StealthRabbit; 04-25-2008 at 11:43 AM..
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Old 04-30-2008, 03:44 PM
Status: "Lady-Bug got Spayed today! Now she is a sh-it LOL" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: West Virginia
8,077 posts, read 16,235,750 times
Reputation: 4220
I see your Friends dont know history & how the west was won.... MOVE! My mom had 4 of us kids & we lived from FL to MD!! Oh She was a widow!
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Old 04-30-2008, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
8,763 posts, read 11,463,466 times
Reputation: 6272
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nazira View Post
I am planning to move to another state in a couple of months. Been researching the place for the last year, visited a couple of times. I am moving there without a job, but have enough savings to last me about a year. Of course I am hoping to get a job sooner than that.
My daughter is graduating high school and will go to college in the new state. Lately, everyone I talk to looks at me strange – they say it’s crazy to move to unknown place, with no friends or relatives there, alone without a husband, and leaving a good paying and steady job here with no prospects there. I am starting to doubt myself. Am I brave or just plain crazy? I would love to hear from anyone who moved alone and it worked out, or not…

What do you think of my situation? I am crazy?
We were in your same boat about a year ago. We moved from Southern California to Colorado last June. We researched our new home to death and even made a week long visit in the dead of winter. I was 23 at the time, and I took my girlfriend and her 3 kids from a previous marriage with me. We had no jobs lined up, and what we thought would be enough money to make the move and have enough to survive on for a while until we got going. All of our long time friends and family thought we were nuts.

They would say things like: (my responses in parentheses)

"Why in the world would you want to leave California?" (it's not the paradise everyone thinks it is)

"Y'know there's no jobs there" (wrong; we lived in a small town so we know what "no jobs" is like)

"Property taxes are MUCH higher there" (wrong)

"Colorado has the highest suicide rate in the country" (wrong again)

"You don't know how to drive in the snow" (we have brains and the ability to learn)

"You don't have any family there, so why do you want to move there?" (you don't need family nearby to survive)

"What's so wonderful about Colorado" (list would be too long)

"Why Colorado?" (why not?)

We had a terrible time financially for the first 5-6 months or so. That extra money we had saved dried up quickly. We both got similar jobs (restaurant) to what we had in California, and while my girlfriend lost hers after about a month, mine paid about 40% of what it did in California. We stayed afloat (barely) however, and didn't get evicted from our apartment or lose any cars etc. I got a new job in October that increased our income four-fold and we've since moved out of said apartment and are now renting a house. We are doing quite fine now and are doing better than we would have ever done in California.

So now, everyone that doubted us is surprised at how well we have done and now keeps their mouths' shut about it. The people that are doubting you probably don't have the guts to try to do that themselves, they are in their comfort zone, and probably have never tried to leave "home", at least those were the people that doubted us.

Bottom line: it can be done, but there's a good chance it'll be hard
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Old 04-30-2008, 11:50 PM
 
3,674 posts, read 6,832,432 times
Reputation: 2550
How does your kid feel about you following them around? Cutting the apron strings has to be done some time- and college is a pretty good time to do so. I'd say to stay put for a year or so and then see how badly the 'empty nest syndrom' is effecting you. As we head into a recession, leaving a good job with only one year of money seems foolhardy to me.
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Old 05-01-2008, 02:19 AM
 
Location: Laguna Hills, CA
172 posts, read 542,517 times
Reputation: 146
I think you are brave. My mom and I picked up and moved over four years ago and haven't looked back. Of course we left friends and family, however we made new friends and feel at home. Our quality of life improved and the people who doubted us feel stupid for thinking we would fail. Now I am on my way to another state to pursue a business opportunity. Good luck to you.
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Old 05-02-2008, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
167 posts, read 361,799 times
Reputation: 383
Thank you, everyone, for posting!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET View Post
How does your kid feel about you following them around?
No, you got it all wrong - I'm not following my daughter to college, we are moving together, and she will go to college there. If we would stay, she would go to college here. She doesn't want to live alone, she wants to stay at home during college years, and I am not going to push her out of the house.
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Old 05-03-2008, 10:52 PM
 
21 posts, read 77,854 times
Reputation: 23
I'm in a similar situation. My daughter is going to college in another state, needs very badly to leave this area and some of the difficult situation she has with family, and I truly want her to be successful. She won't be successful if she is stranded and lonely...she'd probably be back to her state of origin within a few months. Also, the nonresident tuition is a big problem, which can be solved if I am working in the state she has chosen. We DON'T want to live in the same house, though... So she will move to one town in the new state and I will move to another, just about an hour and a half away. I'm really excited about it, and know it will be a great adventure! I do have a job in the new state, and that helps a lot, and I don't think I'd go during these hard times without a job. I've done this before and "failed"--come running home after a year, but I think this time it will work because I'm moving to a place I can better afford, and I'm happier being alone than I was then. People are so STUCK in their routines, and I think it's really important to try something new at our age...if you don't do it now, you might never do it! Congratulations to you for taking a chance and being brave!
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Old 05-04-2008, 12:29 AM
 
3,674 posts, read 6,832,432 times
Reputation: 2550
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nazira View Post
Thank you, everyone, for posting!



No, you got it all wrong - I'm not following my daughter to college, we are moving together, and she will go to college there. If we would stay, she would go to college here. She doesn't want to live alone, she wants to stay at home during college years, and I am not going to push her out of the house.
I still am not so sure it makes sense to leave a good job and take this chance. It could end up both bankrupting you and ending your daughter's college hopes.

Can she attend a college closer to home?
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