Etiquette question (daughter, actor, kids, birthday party)

[stmaarten]

Your child is invited to another child's birthday party. You respond with a: "yes he/she will be there." The night before he/she develops a high fever and you call the next day to let the parents of the birthday boy/girl know that your son/daughter will not be able to attend the party. Do you still send a gift?

[enlightenme]

I am not answering this as an expert, but as how I would handle it....I would only send a gift if it was a close friend. If this is more like a classmate or casual friend, I would probably not give the gift. For me, the deciding factor would be: would I want to give this friend a gift even if he/she weren't having a party? Also, anyone with kids understands how they get sick on a day's notice and expect such cancellations.

[RockyMtnr]

Yes. Same as in the world of grown-ups. Deliver the gift on-time.

[stmaarten]

Great advice, enlightenme. Thank you!
Rockymtnr, not sure what you mean. How can the gift be delivered "on-time" if the child is sick and can not attend the party? Maybe I misunderstood?

[SpeedyAZ]

Ditto, unless the kid is a close friend of the party-giver, I probably wouldn't. If they are, then yes.

[Racelady88]

If I had already purchased the gift I would drop it off before the party.

[momof2dfw]

If I'd already purchased the gift and it was a close friend, I'd get them the gift. Might not be on the day of the party as you are going to be tending a sick child and the other parents should understand that. Typically, and this is just from my own experiences w/ my two children, they only get invited to close friends parties anyway. Most parents we know tend to limit the size of the party and so it is usually close friends. When it is one of those parties where the parents invited EVERYONE the child comes into contact w/ and more (know some of those too), then no. I would not send the gift or give it to the child later.

[cleosmom]

If the gift has been purchased, then yes I would make certain the child got it the next time the kids see one another. If no gift has been purchased, I'd simply have my child write a note/card and mail it to the birthday child saying they were sorry they had to miss the party due to being ill, yes even though you've already informed the parents your child isn't going to be there.

[square peg]

The birthday child and parents thought enough of your son/daughter to extend an invitation. Responding positively implied that your son/daughter would attend and bring a gift. I would think that the birthday recipient will appreciate all of the gifts from the other kids and by extension reminisce later on of how they were enjoyed. It's too bad your child can't go and be take part in the fun, but the gift should be sent. Otherwise, your child will not only miss the party, but the important afterthoughts as well.

[seashelly]

I would. Chances are the gift is already purchased for that particular person anyways.