Comedy, WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: (houses, phone, relatives, pregnant)

[John1960]

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just
another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to
a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world
is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too
icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest
when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.. One mood all the
time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day
vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the
slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything
on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only
have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a
pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes..

No wonder men are happier.

[Magnum Mike]

LOL..

And you should also mention, give us a beer and we'll do anything around the house!

[nomoresnow]

And no wonder we women are always ticked at you!

[StuckPA]

Nice joke...if only it were true.
I rarely see depressed women,it seems they were created with more of the 'happy gene'.

[fallfanatic]

john1960....

LOL...What a great post and so very true!!
Mike...I don't know if my DH would do anything around the house for a beer, but the chances are much more likely, that he'd at least think about it....

[InLondon]

Originally Posted by John1960

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just
another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to
a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world
is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too
icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest
when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.. One mood all the
time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day
vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the
slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything
on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only
have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a
pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes..

No wonder men are happier.

All of this seems true.

[JoeSo]

Ok let's do an updated version-

Your last name stays put.

Women hyphenate for status.

The garage is all yours.

The REST of the house is theirs!

You can be President.

Eh hem...Hillary?

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

In France you can

The world is your urinal.

I've heard stories

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

Come on,you clean up after us don't you?

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Ever watch 'Toolbelt Divas'?

Same work, more pay.

'EOE'.

Wrinkles add character.

Botox infomercials.

Wedding dress $5000.

eBay...

People never stare at your chest
when you're talking to them.

We don't spend $2000 each one to cause that

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

We're more practical.

One mood all the
time.

Less females in jail

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Get to the point then

You know stuff about tanks.

2 words...Home Depot

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Why can't they still be your friend?

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

You don't always need Victorias Secret,most of the time no one even knows

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Again,practicality.

You can play with toys all your life.

What do you do with kids & houses?

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

So can you,ever been to the beach?

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Didn't you just complain about shaving?

[Journey2LS]

Men are such lucky bastards!

[Rcm58]

There are no tv channels dedicated to older bitter men...like Tine Daily, Melissa Gilbert, Farrah Faucet made for tv movies.

No mens groups recommending we leave our families whenever times are bad.

Dr's don't tell you they think your depressed and write you a prescription for meds.

[StuckPA]

Originally Posted by Rcm58

There are no tv channels dedicated to older bitter men...like Tine Daily, Melissa Gilbert, Farrah Faucet made for tv movies.

No,just war movies and westerns

No mens groups recommending we leave our families whenever times are bad.

No,they just leave.

Dr's don't tell you they think your depressed and write you a prescription for meds.

That's because society doesn't expect men to get 'depressed',just 'suck it up' is what you're supposed to do. Yet men are much more angrier,just another manifestation.