Two REALLY, REALLY Curious Questions (actors, pregnant, senior, street)

[gizmo980]

P.S. This reminds of those groups that claim they can "make someone straight", usually through religious and/or psychological means (praying, studying, therapy, etc.). They might temporary shut off that part of their brain, but it doesn't change who they are inside... I'd love to see the future results, and how many have gone back to being gay.

And as for your question about his cancer treatment, I have a feeling it's more than losing his hair, and that he's just very scared. Either that, or he has some ethical issues with the medical care? We had a family friend who was a Christian Scientist, and refused treatment for breast cancer... unfortunately she died about a year later. But I guess that's his choice to make, though it's very sad to think he won't at least try to beat it.

[LoveBoating]

I have known very few gay people in my life, but he and this other lady (who is a lesbian) are very, very nice to me. After being around these two, in some ways I have really changed my opinion about gay people.

[mystree]

I too think it used to be alot different like 20 years ago it was almost shocking finding out someone you knew was gay,but nowadays it's no big thing infact I work with 2 gay men myself it doesn't bother me abit. The way I look at it who am I to judge to each his own.

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by LoveBoating

I have known very few gay people in my life, but he and this other lady (who is a lesbian) are very, very nice to me. After being around these two, in some ways I have really changed my opinion about gay people.

I'm glad to hear that. I think you have to get to know someone on a personal level, before you can understand their "side of the story"... people who don't have any exposure to a gay person (for example) will form stereotypes in their head, usually based on the media or word-of-mouth. Then you actually meet someone, and find they're human first, before they are gay/Black/Jewish/etc. I have many gay friends, and it's not like their whole life revolves around that one detail... we don't just sit around and talk about homosexuality, and wave rainbow flags while watching parades every weekend - LOL. We'll go out to dinner, see a movie, go shopping, or B.S. about all sorts of random topics, just like any other friends would. Anyway, I guess this is why I don't have many prejudices, since I grew up around such diversity... and after you've been friends with someone, it's difficult to generalize about their whole group.

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by mystree66

I too think it used to be alot different like 20 years ago it was almost shocking finding out someone you knew was gay,but nowadays it's no big thing infact I work with 2 gay men myself it doesn't bother me abit. The way I look at it who am I to judge to each his own.

I'm not sure how big your place of business is, but to have ONLY two gay employees around here would be unusual - LOL. Anyway, I don't see why it should bother someone, unless they plan to date everyone in the office... But it's great that people are generally more accepting these days, even in places where it isn't as common. Things have come a long way, though there's still a way to go - with more than just the gay community, of course.

[theqbaby]

When I was in my late teens, my best friend was a gay guy. No way to hide that one and didn't try. I had a pair of lesbian neighbors (one burnt to death in a car fire in her driveway ) that were the BEST ! People are people. I have never judged someone on what they may or may not do in their personal lifes.
I would have to agree that gays are usually the most compassionate, caring people. And are usually hilarious to hang around with.
Then again, I did run into a situation that made me feel a bit ODD. I found some trees I had wanted to buy, so we took the 2 hour drive to go pick them out. I had conversed with both husband and wife for about 2 weeks thru e-mail and phone calls before I decided to make the purchase. We drove 2 hrs. to get there. Upon arriving we meet the wife, and see another woman in the background and a teenage son. She was wearing spandex shorts with a spandex sports bra top. Blonde hair in a pointytail and painted fingernails. But something threw us, couldn't quite figure it out, something wasn't rite. They must of seen our facial expressions and explaind to us that husband was a transgender. A "heads up " would of been nice so we didn't feel uncomfortable. He prefers to sleep with women, has all his male parts, but decides to live life as a woman as far as appearance. Again, some of the nicest people we have met. Both were formerly in the service. We stayed and had I.T. in their back yard and chatted for quite sometime.Imagine the life of that poor child. They explained to us that they had been thrown out of their church and their child was also thrown out of his private school. Needless to say , it was a long quiet ride home .
To each their own ,as long as they don't push their sexual preferences on us.
As far as the cancer goes, thats a tough one. I have seen many different illness and treatments for them. I had recently met a woman in the drugstore who was buying meds. for her 94 y.o. mother. She had said, her mother did not go to a dr. until she was 80. The price of her meds, even with medicare, was over $400.00. The woman said the meds make her mom feel sick and she is not the same woman she used to be before all the meds.
I often wonder....... do I want to know and live in fear or continue to live a happy, carefree life enjoying things to the fullest. And when God pulls my card, I simply follow?
That is a tough one for me!

[gizmo980]

Hey QBaby, did you know that cross-dressers often identify as heterosexual? It's more like a fetish, where they enjoy wearing the clothing, but still are attracted to the opposite sex... of course some are gay, though. There's also a difference between transgender, transsexual, cross-dresser, etc. Not sure exactly which category the person you met was in, without knowing all the gritty details. Anyway, it's really quite interesting to learn about! On a side-note, has anyone seen the movie 'Transamerica'? It's very good, and I suggest anyone checking it out if you get a chance.

As for "giving you a heads-up", I totally understand your feelings on that... but really, what should they have done? I imagine it would be difficult to shake someone's hand upon meeting them, and say "my name's Jim, and I'm a cross-dresser"! I guess they figure you'll guess on your own, and otherwise it doesn't really matter... I don't know what lurks underneath everyone's clothing, and would prefer not to know in most cases. Plus they have to consider their safety, since there are people who might react badly to that information. But they sound like cool people, so it's nice you had a chance to hang out with them!

[theqbaby]

Originally Posted by gizmo980

Hey QBaby, did you know that cross-dressers often identify as heterosexual? It's more like a fetish, where they enjoy wearing the clothing, but still are attracted to the opposite sex... of course some are gay, though. There's also a difference between transgender, transsexual, cross-dresser, etc. Not sure exactly which category the person you met was in, without knowing all the gritty details. Anyway, it's really quite interesting to learn about! On a side-note, has anyone seen the movie 'Transamerica'? It's very good, and I suggest anyone checking it out if you get a chance.

As for "giving you a heads-up", I totally understand your feelings on that... but really, what should they have done? I imagine it would be difficult to shake someone's hand upon meeting them, and say "my name's Jim, and I'm a cross-dresser"! I guess they figure you'll guess on your own, and otherwise it doesn't really matter... I don't know what lurks underneath everyone's clothing, and would prefer not to know in most cases. Plus they have to consider their safety, since there are people who might react badly to that information. But they sound like cool people, so it's nice you had a chance to hang out with them!

Yes, I agree that it would of been hard for them to give us a heads up. But he did come right out and say "hi I'm L____anne". He explained that he wasn't a cross dresser that he was transgender. Needless to say, I did spend a good amount of time on the internet researching this. I believe , if I remember correctly, that a cross dresser, dresses this way on occassion, and a transgender Lives life this way.
I really don't know, nor do I care. They were great people !
"It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round"

[DBNN]

When I was about 19. I went to my friends house for the first time. She went into her room to change. So, I start looking around her living room at pictures on walls and tables. My friend is Indian. I see this picture of a girl all dressed up like she was on the red carpet. I asked my friend , "is that your sister" she is so pretty. You can guess the rest.
She had a look on her face of worry and she say's "no that is my brother."
He worked as a cross dresser on stage.
She never told me she had a guy brother. But she knew I was coming over so, she wasn't trying hide it.
After a kinda uncomfortable 30 seconds. She says , he will be here tonight for the party. She looks at me to see my reaction.
So, I am thinking her brother will arrive all dressed up like the photos.
When he came to the door, No wig, no make-up, no dress.
Just a nice nice nice funny funny funny guy!!

[christina0001]

I suspect it can take a long time for a homosexual person to accept that he/she is homosexual, because it is a lot easier in our society to be heterosexual, and a person might be expected to be heterosexual. Or perhaps the person might be bisexual, which would make it easier to enjoy a relationship with an opposite-sex spouse....before eventually coming to realize he or she would rather be with a same-sex partner.

As for cancer and chemo, my mother was diagnosed with cancer several years ago, and it took a lot of pleading and coaxing from the family to have her agree to chemo. She also did chemo for slightly less time than normally prescribed. I think for a lot of illnesses (especially the kinds that don't immediately make you feel physically sick), it is easy to go into denial and not want to follow the prescribed treatment.