Two REALLY, REALLY Curious Questions

[ScranBarre]

Some people will do anything to "live a lie" and try to portray a false image of themselves to society. I happen to be a gay person myself, and I likewise dated one of my best female friends back in high school while secretly dating a guy from the Poconos so that nobody would suspect me of being gay and terrorize me for it. Like it or not, much of this nation remains downright hostile towards gays (not so much lesbians, as most straight men are hypocrites who still like to fantasize about two women together, but I digress).

In the end, this "lie" made me even more miserable than you could imagine, and I even attempted suicide (I still think it's a pity sometimes that I wasn't successful). My girlfriend broke up with me after a while because she didn't want to be "tied down" when she left on a quest to locate her estranged mother, which was sadly enough a RELIEF for me. In the long run, I cared very deeply about Tiffany, even spending $300 on her for a wonderful Valentine's Day date and trying to make her as happy as I possibly could, but I just didn't have any sort of "physical" attraction to her whatsoever---she felt like a pleutonic companion to me or perhaps just a very close sister.

Finally, my boyfriend also broke up with me after a year because my parents had just finally stumbled onto my relationship with him and scared him away. My "Beloved Brooklyn Bulldog" was no more, and my father threatened to kick me out of his house for being gay, as well as threatening to "take me out back and shoot me himself" when he learned I was suicidal.
This is why we gay people ruin the lives of straight women and have children left and right; if you straight people would just learn to BUTT OUT sometimes and stop being so hostile and hurtful towards us, then we wouldn't feel any sort of need to "live a lie." There's a reason why the suicide rate for gay/lesbian teenagers is so high, and the refusal of one's family and friends to accept him/her is one of the biggest factors.

I finally came out during my senior year of high school and posted a romantic blog about my ex-boyfriend on MySpace, in hopes that him seeing me "out" and longing for him back in my life would cause him to have a change of heart. No such luck could be had by me. When I came into school the next morning, I thought I'd be beaten to a bloody pulp by our mostly Conservative, straight, upper-middle-class suburban student body, especially since my blog had received hundreds of views. In contrast, nobody really even brought it up, and those who did ask me "Is it true?" were supportive when I nodded my head. I rose through the ranks of popularity as the only openly-gay individual out of a high school of 1,100+ students, and I even won a class poll for being "Most Likely to Brighten Your Day" after straight girls flocked to me en masse for constructive support in dealing with their boyfriends.

Do I have any regrets about coming out? No. I only wish my family could be supportive of me instead of hating me so much for not living up to their expectations. Other than feeling like the "Black Sheep" to my family and being lonesome as a direct result of being fearful of dating again "under the radar", my life otherwise is great. I'm in a stable job, have a steady income, I'm on the Dean's List, and I have a number of friends in college, none of whom are ill-disposed towards me just because I'm "different." My ex-boyfriend and I have been talking and hanging out again; he's been under a lot of stress, pressure, and depression lately, and he finally realized that he was much happier when I was by his side as a support system. Currently, I'm at a crossroads. He wants me back, and I want him back, but I'm fearful that if my parents find out about us again, all hell will break loose and this time I'll go all the way with my attempted suicide. Life is perfect outside of my loneliness, and having Eddie, my "Beloved Brooklyn Bulldog" back in my life again would be the perfect complement to a promising future for us both. Unfortunately, I don't want to live a life in which starting a relationship would destroy my family, as they've gone back into denial about my homosexuality.

In conclusion, the only reason we gays attempt to deceive society into perceiving us as "straight" is because so many of you are so cruel to us if you learn the truth! McGreeveys and Foleys are on every block in America; you truly don't know everyone as well as you think you do! Even when I came out, almost everyone I knew was in denial, thinking it was a ploy for attention, because I'm generally the epitome of masculinity and aggression. We come in all shapes and sizes! LOL!

[jkmewright]

Yup, I bowled in a gay bowling league and 60% of the participants had been heterosexual and/or married in their past lives. Alot of them had children from these marriages as well. Some said they were confused. Some wanted to try to be "normal" and not be social outcasts (darn shame). Some liked both sexes. There are so many factors that you just can't pinpoint any particular one. What I do know is that now they are relatively happy. As happy as you can be when you can't walk down the street showing affection to your loved one. I loved most of them and was proud to be their friend. At the time I was pregnant and we called the guys "granny" and "auntie" lol
As far as the guy refusing chemo. That's a hard one. We have had many discussions about this one. A neighbor refuses to have a blood transplant and she may well die. Her children are all mad at her for "committing suicide" and they fight constantly. IMHO It's her choice as it's about what she needs and what she feels she can deal with.

[Callie_D]

Scranton, please don't consider suicide again! Families can be very oppressive if you don't turn out the way they think you should be, but you have to live your life the way that makes you happy. I agree society is still very hurtful toward gays, but eventually, most people will learn to live and let live. You seem like a truly kind person, (and very attractive from that photo), and I'm sure the world is a better place with you in it.