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Old 01-30-2007, 04:58 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
984 posts, read 1,909,075 times
Reputation: 795
Yorkie Mom..I to lost my brother to suicide, It is so hard to understand why someone you love so much makes that choice. Stay strong, feb. is also the anniversary of my brothers death. I will keep you in my prayers..
To all of you that have lost some one you love..I aso will keep you in my prayers. Thanks grammy for letting us talk about this.
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Old 01-30-2007, 05:45 AM
 
Location: STL
1,093 posts, read 2,635,437 times
Reputation: 540
When I was 15, my boyfriend died of an OD.
I call him my boyfriend, but technically he asked me out the night that he died. I knew him for quite a while before that though. My little secret crush.

I wrote a short story about him, poetry, and a 20 page play(it was a school assignment at the time) I still look back now and I am amazed that it had such a dramatic effect on me. There is still not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I went through severe depression when he died. My friends and family really didn't understand why it had such an effect on me. To be honest, I really didn't either. Shock factor, I guess..
But to me, it seems like I matured 5 years in a month or so. I miss him a lot. I can't wait until I see him when I am in heaven. He knows he better be the first one I see.. because I have a lot to tell him!!!!
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Old 01-30-2007, 05:57 AM
 
Location: Central Kentucky
850 posts, read 1,991,008 times
Reputation: 465
Default You are awesome

Quote:
Originally Posted by grammy164 View Post
Millie, the loss of a sibling too soon is so hard--I know. Your brother sounds like he was fun to be around. I hope you and your son share your memories often. I think when we share memories it keeps a person alive--if only in our hearts......and I know what you mean--there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of all my angels.


Kimmiey, like I told you--I have a Kimmy too. A lifetime ago I was divorced. My girls' biological father decided afterwards that he wanted a new family. I know the heartbreak that caused them. Fortunately, I met someone that didn't mind becoming their Dad and being part of their lives. My oldest daughter decided a long time ago she wanted nothing to do with her biological father, but my youngest daughter did try on a few occasions to form some kind of relationship. Things didn't work out and she was able to just let it go. I often worry that I've scarred my children for life, but they're pretty awesome adults, so hopefully I haven't. And hopefully you're not. I think everything you've gone through has made you a very kind and compassionate human being. I'm sorry for your "father". He's missing out on such a wonderful person.

This is why I love you. Your Kimmiey is a very lucky girl. No, I don't think she is scarred - a little bruised maybe - but those go away. As parents, we can only do what we can. No manuels, darn it.

Your girls know you did your best, if I know it, so do they - and their father is missing out, too. It is a hard thing to do - bury someone who is living another life by choice - but I think to keep your sanity, you have too.

I tried, and your daughter has tried. That's all we can do. If they choose to ignore us - then we must be better off - as we are being protected by our Heavenly Father. That's what I have to believe, anyway.

Thank you for this thread. I am tackling these invitations today - that is hard enough.

Kimmiey
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Old 01-30-2007, 06:14 AM
 
Location: Central Kentucky
850 posts, read 1,991,008 times
Reputation: 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by poprocksncoke View Post
When I was 15, my boyfriend died of an OD.
I call him my boyfriend, but technically he asked me out the night that he died. I knew him for quite a while before that though. My little secret crush.

I wrote a short story about him, poetry, and a 20 page play(it was a school assignment at the time) I still look back now and I am amazed that it had such a dramatic effect on me. There is still not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I went through severe depression when he died
The age you were - it is very understandable. At 15, we are barely figuring out what the world is, and those crushes then hang around. I am still in touch with my frist boyfriend from 7th grade - 30 years this September.

Anything traumatic at that age never leaves, and I think it is amplified. God Bless you.

Celtic - it amazes me how a personcan think they are so alone - and then through one little thread - there are so many others who have had the same experience. I have asked myself a thousand times what I have done - but I know it wasn't me. I know how painful it is to not speak to parents. Even though my mother and I are in touch now (they never lost touch completely with the boys), for 2 years after she moved to Florida, we did not speak. She has always been very into herself (note the the 'weight' thread) and I blew it off. But moving to Florida in '04 - she refused to come for my oldest son's High School Graduation. They just didn't have the money. Ok. Good excuse, but I knew better. I just know my mother.

I told her how badly she had hurt Alex - and she said he was 18 and he should understand. NO - they don't. 18 may be a legal Adult, but it doesn't mean they have the maturity to understand why grandparetns don't care enough to come to the most important event in his life. I was 38 and didn't understand how rattan furniture was more important. (that's where the money went)

Alex just reconciled this over Christmas, as he traveled down to see them. Daddy said it was the worst mistake he ever made. They will be here for Joshua's Grad. in June, and Alex's 'wedding' (which I still pray does not happen) in March, along with Josh's 18th Birthday in March. So - they have realized it.

I hope one day your parent's will, too. And I am with you - attack me all you want, but DO NOT MESS with my children. That - I will fight to the death over.

There will be peace with all of us one day. It is not what happens to us, it is how we handle it - and I think we all are handling things well. I can tell by the posts - we are strong - and forgiving and loving. It's gonna be alright...
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Old 01-30-2007, 06:36 AM
 
Location: STL
1,093 posts, read 2,635,437 times
Reputation: 540
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmieyky View Post
The age you were - it is very understandable. At 15, we are barely figuring out what the world is, and those crushes then hang around. I am still in touch with my frist boyfriend from 7th grade - 30 years this September.

Anything traumatic at that age never leaves, and I think it is amplified. God Bless you.
Thank you I just can't believe its been going on 10 years since he died! I am being a little dramatic (this october will be 7 years, but still)

PS~I would give you rep. But I have to spread it around apparently.
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Old 01-30-2007, 06:46 AM
 
Location: Central Kentucky
850 posts, read 1,991,008 times
Reputation: 465
Poprocks - Thanks for the points in your head! And you are not being dramatic - it hurts, I know.

I have a question -

If all who have written here could say what you need to to the ones you have lost - what would it be?

I'll start .... I have to get this out...

Rick, you brought me into this world, and I remember when you were my father. I remember the few good times, mostly remember you working - alot. But the time at the fair, when you 'won' the big pink alligator for me - after you told me we could not go to the fair, and when I had my first heart break and you let me cry like a baby - you were my father. You have chosen to no longer be my father, and I have to live with that. But one day, so will you. I hope you are well in Mexico. I hope you are happy. As for me, I am doing fine without you. It used to hurt, but you can't hurt me anymore. And you can't hurt my kids. Because of you I am stronger than I ever could have been. Had you not left - I may not have been this way. I thank you for that. Alex hurts, but he will be strong, too. Josh doesn't remember you when he was little, thank goodness, so he has no pain. Have a good life, and don't waste a thought on me - my Daddy takes care of me just fine. Kimmiey

Last edited by kimmieyky; 01-30-2007 at 06:51 AM.. Reason: posting issues
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Old 01-30-2007, 10:38 AM
 
4,781 posts, read 1,464,101 times
Reputation: 3984
I have a long list:

Grandpa: 1986 Heart attack in his sleep
My Brother:1994 Drowned in a river ( He was 22 ) I was 20
My Friend: 1994 Stabbed while trying to help a stranger
My Friend : 1995 Shot getting into his car for work by a mental patient.
My Aunt : 1996 Car hit by Amtrak train .She was in her early 40's.
My Grandpa: 1997 Cancer Given 3 mo. He passed in 1 mo. (I was there).
My Uncle: 2001 long battle with lung cancer (second hand smoke)
My Grandma: 2002 lung disease
My Uncle: 2002 Kidney failure (5 weeks after my Grandma)
My Grandma 2003 Heart Surgery
My G.Grandma 2003 Age related
My Great Aunt 2004 Long battle with cancer (I was there )



I believe with all my heart they are all together and I will see them again!
The day my Grandpa passed away of Cancer at home.
I went to his house in the afternoon. My grandma and my grandpa's sister looked so tired. I said, please try to take a short nap.
I will watch Grandpa. They both took a nap. I was alone with my Grandpa in the living room. I sat as close as I could to him and held his hand. He had been in a full coma like state for about 15 hours.
30 minutes later here came my Grandma. She was crying. Is he ok?
I said yes, Grandma I am watching him. He is OK!
She said, Jesus just came to me in my dream. Jesus said, he has to take him home now!


Watching my Grandma look down at her husband ( Broke my heart). They had been together since my Grandma was 13. WE all sat down on the couch.
A few min later my Aunt jumps up and goes over to my Grandpa. She said, He is breathing different.
I was so scared and shacking . The three of us gathered around him. My Grandma put her head on my Grandpa's heart. He took A few more breaths , and this peace and calm came over the room. Like nothing I ever felt before. I could feel someone in the room with us . It was the most amazing feeling. The only way I can try to describe it. It was like the birth of a baby, but better.
His face had no emotion but as he took his last breath . This huge smile come over his face. My grandma said, look look "who is he smiling at" ? Who does he see! It was instant .
I am not scared of Death anymore.

Have you heard that song By josh Groban :To Where You Are?
Reminds me of that day.
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Old 01-30-2007, 10:50 AM
 
12,408 posts, read 7,453,256 times
Reputation: 18622
Wow, that gave me goosebumps, what a powerful moment in time that must have been. Thank you for sharing that.
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Old 01-30-2007, 10:51 AM
 
464 posts, read 505,627 times
Reputation: 142
Oh my gosh DBNN I was with my Mom when she died it was very similar to your Grandfather. We were all told to talk to her and tell her it was ok to leave (awful gut wrenching) but we did it. My oldest who turned 2 two days after she died was at a friends all day, she brought him to my Dad's that evening I took him in to see his Grandmother who he just adored and she died 15 minutes later. I truly believe she was waiting for him to come home and see her. Everyone else was there my Dad, sisters,brother, aunt and my sisters son.

After my other 2 children were born I felt at different times like she came to see them. Both times at night I thought I saw an image looking down at them while they slept in their cribs.

There are so many songs I here that remind me of my Mom.

I am so sorry that you have lost so many that you have been close to you.
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Old 01-30-2007, 12:53 PM
 
1,107 posts, read 2,314,654 times
Reputation: 534
Default You're in my prayers

Rapture, I am so sorry. I know words really don't help right now. I wish I could give you a hug. My heart goes out to you, Grammy
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