Heartbreak, Revenge.. and how to get over it all (poem, women, children)

[ellie]

Originally Posted by msjbrent

I really do not understand why I can't get my mind to stop focusing on this. HELP!

You gotta get a few new boyfriends, three to be exact. One, and he's the rebound victim, two and you're cheating on one, three and you're dating around, no problems, no attachments.

It works wonderfully because you never put too much pressure on any of them, and even if they don't know you're seeing other men, they sense that they should be feeling jealous. Men are happiest when they are pursuing something, when they've caught you, they get bored.

By finding a few nice boyfriends, two for movies and drinks and maybe one you like the idea of sleeping with, then you keep them all wanting more.

You will feel like the queen of it all. Now this is hard to maintain, so don't expect perfect stability, but what you need now is an ego boost to get over the loser who messed you up.

[Rapture]

The best revenge is moving on with your life and letting him drown in his pathetic existentance. It's easier said then done but you can do it as long as you can accept there's someone better out there for you. People on here are probably tired of hearing me say, life is short. People don't change, you can't fix him, help him or make him change.......go out and find the guy that treats you with respect and loves you more than anything. Believe me, you will find that!

[Crew Chief]

Both of you would do well to remember the old saw: "Too many men, not enough time"... The first thing is to take care of yourselves. You don't need a guy to complete you. But there really are plenty of decent guys out there to get to know. And you don't even have to get serious right away. go out and do stuff that YOU enjoy doing...volunteer. Join an organization that focuses on your interests. Even if there's no eligible males among the other members, there's a good chance that one of the members will know someone you'd like to meet. (It doesn't have to start with a "blind date"!) Best of luck!

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by ellie

By finding a few nice boyfriends, two for movies and drinks and maybe one you like the idea of sleeping with, then you keep them all wanting more.

You will feel like the queen of it all. Now this is hard to maintain, so don't expect perfect stability, but what you need now is an ego boost to get over the loser who messed you up.

That is only going to work with two wimps and one stud, anything else and you aren't going to get any stability at all, as she calls it. The better men will not play that game and will figure it out quick. Some men can pull off that type game, not too many women can.

If you are going to play around with three guys, be prepared to bang them all, they probably can live with that situation.

[Rapture]

Originally Posted by Cosmic

That is only going to work with two wimps and one stud, anything else and you aren't going to get any stability at all, as she calls it. The better men will not play that game and will figure it out quick. Some men can pull off that type game, not too many women can.

If you are going to play around with three guys, be prepared to bang them all, they probably can live with that situation.

You would be surprised...woman can play that game too.

[Rance]

I left the one for Rance off
Sorry Rance

Ewww...I am not smiling!

[spagirl]

Originally Posted by Crew Chief

Both of you would do well to remember the old saw: "Too many men, not enough time"... The first thing is to take care of yourselves. You don't need a guy to complete you. But there really are plenty of decent guys out there to get to know. And you don't even have to get serious right away. go out and do stuff that YOU enjoy doing...volunteer. Join an organization that focuses on your interests. Even if there's no eligible males among the other members, there's a good chance that one of the members will know someone you'd like to meet. (It doesn't have to start with a "blind date"!) Best of luck!

Crew Chief -- thanks for cheering me up! Honestly, I need to stop pitying myself so I can start the healing process.

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by Rapture

You would be surprised...woman can play that game too.

Granted, but usually they do not compartmentize all that well. There are always exceptions, but I believe they have to work much harder to pull it off than men. That type of woman who can be successfull at the game will probably be banging every thing in pants and not limit herself to three.

[DeLaSalle]

Originally Posted by msjbrent

OK. So my question is basically how do you get over a broken heart... and you didn't even know this person had the ability to break it until they did.

I am still as heartbroken/pissed off/confused/angry about a breakup from a year and a half ago. I know some may think, "Get over it" and I'm sure some that have been through it understand. I think I would be a little more "over it" if I would have had closure. It's confusing.

Basically the short story is: I was seeing this guy for almost a year. He originally sought me out. I was not interested at first. But since we had been friends for years and I knew he was an OK guy I went for it. We didn't have alot in common but seemed to enjoy eachothers company. We also worked together. Not good! He was up to some sketchy things at work. He did not tell me about them, the manager did. After he was "warned" at work and was told I was involved (as the accounting manager I was told to look into it) And I know it was for sure. He then dropped me like yesterdays garbage. Would not return phone calls. Literally ran from me at work. Quit a week later. I really felt like a bad disease that he could not dipose of fast enough. Oh yeah, and before the GM came to me everything could not have been going better. The sex had gotten so good! I was left very confused. I knew nothing really. I just assumed he was embarrassed. But it seemed like alot of different stuff was going on in his life all of a sudden. Including drugs.

Anyways, even though I am with someone new I still think about this all the time. I wonder wether I really cared more then I thought. Or maybe I am just furious. Or maybe both.

What should I do to get over this for myself. And let me say I am not comfortable approaching him in anyway. When someone can't get away from you fast enough it is too hard to do that! Should I seek revenge?

Come do the "Dirty" with me...

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Cosmic

That is only going to work with two wimps and one stud, anything else and you aren't going to get any stability at all, as she calls it. The better men will not play that game and will figure it out quick. Some men can pull off that type game, not too many women can.

If you are going to play around with three guys, be prepared to bang them all, they probably can live with that situation.

What's wrong with the wimps or whatever? I often include a gay boyfriend in my mix of male companions, simply because I'm not interested in sleeping with three men. But I enjoy male company. (and certain forthright women) And let's say I have a scrawny school teacher friend or like spending time with an accountant or civil engineer who's not exactly "studly" but he's smart as hell and a good conversationalist. My stud muffin isn't always the one I want to be seen with at an art opening. And muffin may not be the one who can give me the best business advice.

But honestly, I don't want to be married to any one of them right this minute.

What the woman needs is a boost in her self esteem and to realize she doesn't need to hang her hat on just one tree.