HUMOR -- Questions asked by those aged 55 and over... (to buy, to live, pregnant)

[Mike from back east]

Q. Where can men over the age of 55 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore ------- under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 55+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 55+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 55+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 55+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 55+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: ' Gee, I remember these.'


Q: Got a joke worth repeating in this G-rated forum?
A: Hit the reply button and add it to the thread.

s/Mike fbe
Age: 60

[Tek_Freek]

Doggonit, I had a really good one and forgot what it was. Now I can't find my glasses so I can't read it (I write them down so I will have them later).

I'd ask my wife, but she won't let out of the basement.

[AksarbeN]

All of them are very funny Mike,,, thanks for the post. I especially liked this one.

Q: Why should 55+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

However I’m not dumb enough to give the keys to my car ($xx,xxx) to the Valet kid I don’t even know.

[Tek_Freek]

Originally Posted by AksarbeN

All of them are very funny Mike,,, thanks for the post. I especially liked this one.



However I’m not dumb enough to give the keys to my car ($xx,xxx) to the Valet kid I don’t even know.

I'll park it for you. Just remind me where I put it.

[fuzzymystic]

And what about these so-called "oldies stations''???

[Clay Lady]

Originally Posted by AksarbeN

However I’m not dumb enough to give the keys to my car ($xx,xxx) to the Valet kid I don’t even know.

Well, I was dumb enough! Three other women rode with me to a weekend conference at a nice hotel. There were a couple of other cars unloading at the same time as us. No big deal - they had valet parking. Next evening when I ask for my car - I waited about thirty minutes before the young man comes back to tell me neither he nor the other young man know how to drive a standard. My skin crawled when I saw the look they gave each other when I asked how they got it into the parking garage before they started studdering/babbeling. I couldn't believe they were hired to park cars and only drive automatics! I still feel like screaming just remembering the ordeal!!

You know what kills me the most about dumb people? They have no idea how really dumb they are - clueless.

[AksarbeN]

Originally Posted by AksarbeN

However I’m not dumb enough to give the keys to my car ($xx,xxx) to the Valet kid I don’t even know.

Originally Posted by Clay Lady

Well, I was dumb enough! Three other women rode with me to a weekend conference at a nice hotel. There were a couple of other cars unloading at the same time as us. No big deal - they had valet parking. Next evening when I ask for my car - I waited about thirty minutes before the young man comes back to tell me neither he nor the other young man know how to drive a standard. My skin crawled when I saw the look they gave each other when I asked how they got it into the parking garage before they started studdering/babbeling. I couldn't believe they were hired to park cars and only drive automatics! I still feel like screaming just remembering the ordeal!!

You know what kills me the most about dumb people? They have no idea how really dumb they are - clueless.

How about handing the keys to a guy who drives away to park your car and he’s NOT the valet ! Ouch,,,,, where did he steal my car and park it? NOT ME

[Clay Lady]

Originally Posted by AksarbeN

How about handing the keys to a guy who drives away to park your car and he’s NOT the valet ! Ouch,,,,, where did he steal my car and park it? NOT ME

I would really hate to have to tell my husband that happened! I think I would try to buy another car really fast!

[Sandhills Guru]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want' So he tied her up and went golfing.

[Northwoods Voyager]

ROFLMAO...Sandhill....not fair....nope, not fair. lol...good one.

The ones that Mike posted are very good also...lol