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01-01-2009, 04:58 AM
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Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: God's Country
5,700 posts, read 2,067,281 times
Reputation: 15463
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Today's Pet Peeve 1 January 2009
People who tell a grieving widow or widower that they know how it feels because they went through a divorce! There is NO comparison between a divorce and the death of a loved one.
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01-01-2009, 05:34 AM
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Thankful for so much:)
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Woods of Missouri with many Critters
23,112 posts, read 3,718,985 times
Reputation: 23663
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Yes, your are correct in that observation. Sometimes people unwittingly grasp onto any situation in order to show that they have some sympathy and try to use an unhappy event in their life to show their understanding of grief. I think that most of us just want to let the person know of our sympathy for their experience (s) and sadly fail at times.
Don't you think it really is hard for some to adequately express sympathy. You get chocked up and find yourself muttering something that later you wished that you hadn't. I know I've had others say things to me in a time of grief that would almost be humourous if the situation hadn't been so sad. Maybe they mean well, but sure don't know how to say the right thing at times.
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01-01-2009, 07:16 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Where the meaning of cold is down right frigid.
24,371 posts, read 4,745,343 times
Reputation: 15226
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Well said NWV. Some people just cannot come up with the right thing at the right time-it's uncomfortable for both parties.
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01-01-2009, 07:32 AM
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Come visit the "Today's Question"
Status:
"VP of PMOOMA"
(set 6 days ago)
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NE Florida
12,480 posts, read 7,858,532 times
Reputation: 21178
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While I agree it is a difficult thing for folks to express their sympathy during these times
The thing I had the biggest problem with when I lost my parents 2 years apart was the
"I know what you are going through" from folks who have never experienced the death of a loved one.
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01-01-2009, 07:51 AM
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Senior Member
Status:
"happy New Year!!"
(set 7 days ago)
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: magnolia
7,177 posts, read 2,569,276 times
Reputation: 12573
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Northwoods Voyager
Don't you think it really is hard for some to adequately express sympathy. You get chocked up and find yourself muttering something that later you wished that you hadn't. I know I've had others say things to me in a time of grief that would almost be humourous if the situation hadn't been so sad. Maybe they mean well, but sure don't know how to say the right thing at times.
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Oh I definately agree. I'm one of those with my foot in my mouth all fumbled and mumble. I was NEVER good at this. Hate funerals for that reason. What do you say???????????
Sometimes It is best the less I say and then just say a prayer for the person. |
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01-01-2009, 08:05 AM
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Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: God's Country
5,700 posts, read 2,067,281 times
Reputation: 15463
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"I'm so sorry." is always sufficient.
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01-01-2009, 08:29 AM
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Senior Member
Status:
"happy New Year!!"
(set 7 days ago)
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: magnolia
7,177 posts, read 2,569,276 times
Reputation: 12573
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You are right alice........
But I still feel uncomfortable and hate to be in that position.
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01-01-2009, 01:47 PM
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Helping others help themselves...
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arizona
10,221 posts, read 3,334,512 times
Reputation: 6699
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Yes, I agree with all of you. This past year we've lost 7 people. 2 family and 5 friends, and it's sometimes very difficult to find the right words to say as it is a dramatic and emotional experience.
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01-01-2009, 02:24 PM
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I Eat Carbs...
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: (WNY)
4,673 posts, read 2,150,698 times
Reputation: 6136
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Oh, people told that to my grandmother.... she lost the love of her life four years ago...after 56 years of marriage.... and this woman came up to her and compared it to her divorce... IN THE RECEIVING LINE!!!!!
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01-01-2009, 04:49 PM
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Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: God's Country
5,700 posts, read 2,067,281 times
Reputation: 15463
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skbs
Oh, people told that to my grandmother.... she lost the love of her life four years ago...after 56 years of marriage.... and this woman came up to her and compared it to her divorce... IN THE RECEIVING LINE!!!!!
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I rest my case. |
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