when girls drink too much... (how much, strange, check, home)
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1 - we have absolutely no idea where our purse is Wait.... drinking is not the soul cause of this ailment. it is that nargle who keeps moving our purse from where we KNOW we put it!
2 - we've suddenly taken up smoking & become quite good at it Nope never had that drinking side effect had friend who always got a pack of smokes before going out though she herself never smoked. odd.
3 - we take our shoes off because it's the shoes' fault we can't walk straight we all know defective heels when we wear them cause they weren't defective when we put them on.
4 - we start crying & telling everyone we see that we love them sooo much I thought that was a guy thing. they get drunk and tell us how much they love us then deny later on in sobriety.
5 - we get extremely excited & jump up & down every time another song on the jukebox plays because "oh my god, I looove this song!!!!" Jukebox?! And why is that song always the song EVERYONE else loves and there no room on the dance floor to move one foot.
6 - we believe that dancing with our arms overhead while shaking our butts & yelling "woo-hoo" is the sexiest dance move around it is if it gets the chest bouncing... ask any guy! Its a bonus if the short skirt gets shorter with the arms overhead. Oh yeah get even major bonus point for doing the 'dance' on the bar!
7 - we yell at the bartender for making weak lemonade because we can no longer taste the booze Nope just ask to Texas Tea instead... then who cares its all booze!
8 - we've found a deeper spiritual side to the loser sitting next to us heck we find the spiritual side of EVERY loser in the place
9 - we've suddenly decided that said loser really needs his a$$ kicked & we honestly believe we can do it, too! see number 3, we can kick some tushie with those darn stillitos... defective shoe = dangerous weaponary now
10 - in our last bathroom visit we realize we went from looking like the sensual goddess we were four hours ago, to a homeless hooker well I can't fault that one.... but have to add we are wearing twice as much 'touch up' make up and 10 time the amount of perfume we should be wearing all when we come out.
11 - we fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when we sit on it who sits on a toilet unless we are at home or a friends home.... then who care what we look like from #10?
12 - we think we're in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop!) I was thinking about the plush fluffy bathroom carpet.
LOL what horrid memories that brings up and several of them I did live through but my friends did. Must admit I was the dangerous one with the stilettos.
8 - we've found a deeper spiritual side to the loser sitting next to us heck we find the spiritual side of EVERY loser in the place
hahahahahahahahahahaha! yes, you are so right!
I have to admit, I've never been much of a drinker - because I don't get the buzz everyone else gets, but I still wake up with a hangover.
Except for tequila. Tequila makes me very, very happy, with no hangover. It also makes me very outgoing.
To the point of saving the souls of all those losers you just mentioned!
Not to worry, GG.....you were probably trying to walk around us without knocking us over. If we weren't so loopy we would have seen you....
but instead Mrs. GG found her treasure. It was all part of the master plan!
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