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Old 03-11-2009, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Tennessee bound...someday
2,514 posts, read 4,952,810 times
Reputation: 7130

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Rcvd this e-mail earlier which made me laugh...hope you will laugh too. It's really very tongue in cheek, but I bet you've spotted a few!

When we girls drink too much,

1 - we have absolutely no idea where our purse is

2 - we've suddenly taken up smoking & become quite good at it

3 - we take our shoes off because it's the shoes' fault we can't walk straight

4 - we start crying & telling everyone we see that we love them sooo much

5 - we get extremely excited & jump up & down every time another song on the jukebox plays because "oh my god, I looove this song!!!!"

6 - we believe that dancing with our arms overhead while shaking our butts & yelling "woo-hoo" is the sexiest dance move around

7 - we yell at the bartender for making weak lemonade because we can no longer taste the booze

8 - we've found a deeper spiritual side to the loser sitting next to us

9 - we've suddenly decided that said loser really needs his a$$ kicked & we honestly believe we can do it, too!

10 - in our last bathroom visit we realize we went from looking like the sensual goddess we were four hours ago, to a homeless hooker

11 - we fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when we sit on it

12 - we think we're in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop!)
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Old 03-12-2009, 12:10 AM
 
27,335 posts, read 27,385,151 times
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Lol, thats so funny! Next time I go out with friends, Ill make sure to bring this list with me and check off everything that applies!!
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Old 03-12-2009, 12:16 AM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,379,099 times
Reputation: 55562
please do not criticize this activity, without the aid of alcohol there would be precious few pregnancies.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:15 PM
Gue
 
24,118 posts, read 10,137,983 times
Reputation: 61066
I can so relate!
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:49 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
1,691 posts, read 3,849,869 times
Reputation: 4123
When we girls drink too much,

1 - we have absolutely no idea where our purse is Wait.... drinking is not the soul cause of this ailment. it is that nargle who keeps moving our purse from where we KNOW we put it!

2 - we've suddenly taken up smoking & become quite good at it Nope never had that drinking side effect had friend who always got a pack of smokes before going out though she herself never smoked. odd.

3 - we take our shoes off because it's the shoes' fault we can't walk straight we all know defective heels when we wear them cause they weren't defective when we put them on.

4 - we start crying & telling everyone we see that we love them sooo much I thought that was a guy thing. they get drunk and tell us how much they love us then deny later on in sobriety.

5 - we get extremely excited & jump up & down every time another song on the jukebox plays because "oh my god, I looove this song!!!!" Jukebox?! And why is that song always the song EVERYONE else loves and there no room on the dance floor to move one foot.

6 - we believe that dancing with our arms overhead while shaking our butts & yelling "woo-hoo" is the sexiest dance move around it is if it gets the chest bouncing... ask any guy! Its a bonus if the short skirt gets shorter with the arms overhead. Oh yeah get even major bonus point for doing the 'dance' on the bar!

7 - we yell at the bartender for making weak lemonade because we can no longer taste the booze Nope just ask to Texas Tea instead... then who cares its all booze!

8 - we've found a deeper spiritual side to the loser sitting next to us heck we find the spiritual side of EVERY loser in the place

9 - we've suddenly decided that said loser really needs his a$$ kicked & we honestly believe we can do it, too!
see number 3, we can kick some tushie with those darn stillitos... defective shoe = dangerous weaponary now

10 - in our last bathroom visit we realize we went from looking like the sensual goddess we were four hours ago, to a homeless hooker well I can't fault that one.... but have to add we are wearing twice as much 'touch up' make up and 10 time the amount of perfume we should be wearing all when we come out.

11 - we fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when we sit on it who sits on a toilet unless we are at home or a friends home.... then who care what we look like from #10?

12 - we think we're in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop!) I was thinking about the plush fluffy bathroom carpet.

LOL what horrid memories that brings up and several of them I did live through but my friends did. Must admit I was the dangerous one with the stilettos.
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Where the real happy cows reside!
4,279 posts, read 10,359,559 times
Reputation: 10472
How come I miss all the fun ... and just fall asleep? Not fair ... I want to kick someone's a** and think I can do it too!
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:46 PM
 
Location: central Maine
3,455 posts, read 2,786,025 times
Reputation: 26897
where were you all 25 years ago......
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Old 05-15-2009, 05:42 AM
 
Location: Tennessee bound...someday
2,514 posts, read 4,952,810 times
Reputation: 7130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerowyn View Post
8 - we've found a deeper spiritual side to the loser sitting next to us heck we find the spiritual side of EVERY loser in the place


hahahahahahahahahahaha! yes, you are so right!

I have to admit, I've never been much of a drinker - because I don't get the buzz everyone else gets, but I still wake up with a hangover.

Except for tequila. Tequila makes me very, very happy, with no hangover. It also makes me very outgoing.
To the point of saving the souls of all those losers you just mentioned!
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Old 05-15-2009, 05:49 AM
 
Location: Tennessee bound...someday
2,514 posts, read 4,952,810 times
Reputation: 7130
Quote:
Originally Posted by GarlicGuy View Post
where were you all 25 years ago......

Not to worry, GG.....you were probably trying to walk around us without knocking us over. If we weren't so loopy we would have seen you....
but instead Mrs. GG found her treasure. It was all part of the master plan!
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Old 05-15-2009, 08:21 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
1,691 posts, read 3,849,869 times
Reputation: 4123
in honor of Piperspal's enjoyment of Tequila!

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ID:	41588
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