To Gift or Not to Gift (license, things to do, ideas, location)

[doggiebus]

Need some help, wasn't sure where to post this. A friend is getting married soon, this is her second marriage and his second marriage too. They have only invited family, less than 10 people, to the actual wedding. Even though we are not going to the wedding, the girls want to have a luncheon for her. The woman organizing the luncheon told me no gifts. My question is should I bring a small gift to the luncheon even though I was told no gifts?

[fuzzymystic]

Maybe you could find something small and wrap it and leave it in your purse or someplace, see if anyone else brings one, and take it from there.

[doggiebus]

Humm, that might work.

[fuzzymystic]

Or maybe you could buy a nice card and enclose a gift certificate to a restaurant, that way, if you don't end up giving it to her, you could still use it! Don't mean to sound cold, just practical.

[canibeyou]

LOL... some friends and I were just talking about this kinda thing last night. Seems more and more often, people we know getting married (1st time or 6th time... yes, I just attended someone's 6th wedding ) are getting divorced within a year. So from now we have decided no gifts given at weddings. But a year from when their wedding takes place, than we'll send them a gift. Made it a year? Congrats!

If the invite said "no gifts"... I wouldn't bring a gift. If ya feel like giving them something later, than I'd do that.

[Kerowyn]

Originally Posted by fuzzymystic

Or maybe you could buy a nice card and enclose a gift certificate to a restaurant, that way, if you don't end up giving it to her, you could still use it! Don't mean to sound cold, just practical.

Hey I was thinking gift card.

But to me no gifts mean no gifts.

Yet, If you feel the need to give her something as a kind gesture. make sure you do it after the luncheon and not as a part of the luncheon. Kind of "Since I can't make it to your wedding. I wanted to do something nice for the two of you getting married. Since I know you both might have all the things one needs to start a marriage here is a wee something to keep it special. I hope I can give it to you now."

some ideas for anyone who has soem weddings to head to this year.

If you know of a special restuarant they love to go to get a GC from there. or a special pass for two to a location - Botanical Gardens, Zoo, parks. Someplace you know they like to go if they are campers then a years camping pass for local parks if it is affordable. Look for things they can do together as a couple. If they fish look into fishing licenses. Same thing for hunters. looking outside the box for gift ideas for couples who have been married before really makes the gift stand out. Having been married before I know if I would have a 2nd marriage I would keep it low-key and the gift giving as well. I would love passes to places and things to do.... not toasters, pot,pans, towels... trinkets. I have hordes already.

[fuzzymystic]

Hunters? I don't know too many married couples who go hunting together, but it would probably do wonders for the divorce rate!

I think the question is more along the lines of what if it says no gifts but everybody brings one anyway. Like if it says don't dress up and you don't and everyone else is in suits and long dresses.

[debey]

doggiebus...this is an occasion where I would take something small.personnally, I use Christmas ornaments, year round, for this type of gift......
on a side note:
My DD & SIL went deer hunting, for their honeymoon. The father of the birde, presented his daughter with a deer rifle, as a wedding gift......

[doggiebus]

Originally Posted by fuzzymystic

I think the question is more along the lines of what if it says no gifts but everybody brings one anyway. Like if it says don't dress up and you don't and everyone else is in suits and long dresses.

Exactly, I was planning on getting them a wedding gift anyways, when they get married. But wasn't sure if I should bring one to the informal luncheon. I just don't want to get there and others have gifts for her, and then I am the only one without a gift. But if it says no gifts. I think I will get a card and a small gift to put in my purse, and if no one brings a gift, I can give it to her after the luncheon.

I like the idea of giving them a membership to someplace or thing that they enjoy. Their going on a cruise for their honeymoon, so I figured I would order something for their cabin, when they arrive at the ship.

[Kerowyn]

I still say when it is officially known as a "no gift" event then don't bring one. If those other who think such silly rules don't apply to them then let them look foolish and self important. Yet have a back up plan just in case.... Buy a round of drinks and present as a special toast. or pay for the tip. or ask to pay for the bride's drink. I have done that at special events. Had a friend who had a Bday party and she specificly said no gifts. Well some people just cant help themselves and brought gifts. I had plan ahead, knowing were we were going I went in early spoke with our waiter and said... I will be taking care of the birthdays girls dinner and drinks, just don't tell her and don't let anyone else know from the group. It works like a charm. Even better when I challenged everyone to be gracious with their tips.

Oh ya... hunting licenses are for those redneck weddings.
If not get him a hunting license and her a spa membership. everytime he goes out hunting she heads to the spa.