Employer's Lingo....LOL (free, phone, legal, GPS)

[younglisa7]

For your enjoyment.

"COMPETITIVE SALARY!
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM!
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE!
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED!
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED!
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY!
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL!
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED!
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON!
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE!
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE!
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST!
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS!
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS!
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

[studedude]

You talked to my last employer?

[LSU Tiger Z71]

Good stuff, thankfully my job is free from this kind of thing!

[mkfarnam]

Yes, it's nice being self-employed.

[nitram]

Lisa, there's a lot of truth to those statements.Those are some of the reasons I was self employed.

[AliceT]

I could relate to most of those. That's why I am glad I finally found something that suits me - sort of. I drive a taxi. The fares tell me where to go and my GPS gets me back home. Nobody wants to hear my problems or deal with any issues that arise. That's all I need to know to make this job my last career choice.

[dsh1127]

Thanks Younglisa! I have seen those "qualities" in a few jobs that I have had! I work in the construction field now (which is pretty shaky at the moment), and hope to stay where I am at. I have a great job - work with great people, get paid well, and am pretty much my own boss. I know what needs to be done, and I do it! I worked in a medical office before this - - - hope to not have to go there again, way too stuffy, and the doctors were rather full of themselves.

It is funny how some of the employment ads read. I applied for a position once, not knowing where it was at, but the ad was really long, stating all these qualifications that you needed. After I sent my resume, I was actually kind of scared because I thought "Boy, this sounds like a rather intense job, I'm not sure I am that qualified". Well, I got the job - and it was no where near the "high knowledge" job that the ad made it sound! It was unbelievably easy, and I remember thinking "I thought I couldn't do THIS???"

[AksarbeN]

LOL,,, very funny stuff.

I always mentioned to the boss “do you want me to do it [that way] just as you said, or do you want me to make it work correctly?”

Also ~ “I can do it like you asked in about two hours”,,,,,,,,, “however it may take a half day or more to fix it later for the customer.” ,,,,,,,,,,,,, “ Would you like to try 3 maybe 3 ½ hours and no one will have to come back later.”

[firefightermom]

Very funny...and some did ring true from my last job, which I am soooo glad is not my job anymore!