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Old 04-22-2009, 12:37 AM
 
284 posts, read 672,097 times
Reputation: 118

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For some reason, a new phrase has taken hold, uttered by many clueless people, who have the mistaken idea that they are being "comforting." That phrase? "Well, we're ALL really suffering right now." Let me provide an example...Friend A, with a recession-proof job, has just returned from a week-long vacation, taking advantage of cheap airfares and hotel rates. They revel about the wonderful trip, and how much that they were able to rest, relax and enjoy really great meals/deals. They meet Friend B, who has lost their job, and possibly their house, with years of restructuring in the future. Friend A asks, "How are you doing?" Friend B responds, "Well, things are pretty tough right now." (The situation is known to all.)

THAT'S when the now-common phrase pops up, in all of its misguided, dismissive glory. "Well, we're ALL really suffering right now."

People, please. It's not a bright comment, nor a particularly sensitive one. How can anyone in their right mind, think that it is an appropriate response? Perhaps, say, "I'm sorry to hear it, I hope things improve soon." Or, even better, yet, "I have some good contacts, let me see what I can do."

If you're eating out every night...redecorating your home...walking out of the grocery store with a cart full of food...well, rethink the word "suffering."

Last edited by Bo; 04-22-2009 at 07:03 AM.. Reason: Moved from San Antonio forum.
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Old 04-22-2009, 01:02 AM
 
Location: Texas
2,330 posts, read 6,271,716 times
Reputation: 1595
I would hate to see Friend A when they really are suffering..
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Old 04-22-2009, 01:14 AM
 
Location: Wrangell, AK
297 posts, read 545,511 times
Reputation: 664
Some people are just dense. Other's are uncomfortable if their little illusions get rocked. The next time some dull-brained fool says something in your presence...offer to take them dork fishing Worked for me last week when an idjit opened their mouth in the grocery store!!!

Last edited by 2goldens; 04-22-2009 at 05:53 PM.. Reason: removed smiley's ad
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Old 04-22-2009, 06:00 AM
Status: "Amused by Blue" (set 9 days ago)
 
14,627 posts, read 31,214,976 times
Reputation: 6682
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ripshin View Post
.Friend A, with a recession-proof job, has just returned from a week-long vacation, taking advantage of cheap airfares and hotel rates.
Is he a senator or something?

Friend A is just an insensitive person. I'm sure if you think back to when times were good for everyone, Friend A was still a doosh. Choose your friends a little more wisely.
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Old 04-22-2009, 06:39 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
4,149 posts, read 9,325,524 times
Reputation: 3308
Why don't you tell friend A that to their face?

It was a bad choice of words, but he was probably trying to make your friend feel better, so the motives can be good. Just not a good choice.

However, there are a lot of people not suffering and it seems like a lot of folks are trying to make them feel guilty for that, and I don't agree with that. I think that those that aren't suffering are great and have done a great job to avoid the problems.
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Old 04-22-2009, 07:19 AM
 
25,669 posts, read 24,300,811 times
Reputation: 44254
I agree, how would 'friend A' feel if it were him.
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Old 04-22-2009, 08:14 AM
 
284 posts, read 672,097 times
Reputation: 118
Good grief, nobody is trying to make people feel guilty for doing well. This is about common sense, and how to behave during times of crisis. And to make a blanket statement that one should choose their friends more wisely....? The point is, it is shocking WHO says such things. People you would NOT expect. Anyway, I feel that this recession has brought out some of the worst in people. It has been a long time since the last one (of this magnitude). And, by the way, I am Friend C, who has worked quite hard for the last twenty years, and while I have not lost a home, I am self-employed, and feel the effects daily. I can ASSURE you, that many have done "a great job to avoid the problems", but have not been able to avoid them. Not everyone that has been hit right now, took out bad loans, or lived beyond their means. The trickle-down effect has slammed into thousands of people who were doing "a great job," thank you.
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Old 04-22-2009, 09:36 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,452,005 times
Reputation: 64033
I also think the media keeps reinforcing the "tough times" when the fact is if 10% of the population is unemployed, 90% of the population is working. People who are spending money are getting all sorts of buying insentives and discounts.
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Old 04-22-2009, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,517 posts, read 26,373,226 times
Reputation: 88539
I am sorry for anyone who is suffering during these times and I know a lot of people and families are affected.

On the bright side Friend A is probably up to their eyeballs in debt but they have to keep up with the "joneses" so they play the outdo you game. Just wait until they crash and burn.
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Old 04-22-2009, 09:48 AM
bjh
Status: "!" (set 12 hours ago)
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
30,718 posts, read 23,780,760 times
Reputation: 122422
Most Americans have never had inadequate or absent housing, food or clothing. Now that's suffering.
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