My thoughts for today (Support Needed) (the best, relatives, strange, story) - City-Data Forum

Roaddog · 05-02-2009, 08:57 AM

For the last 6 monthes lifes been tough, Dad having cancer has been a trying experiance, he finally was done with the treatments, his kidneys had improved and he was off dialysis, we thought things were looking good.
In the last two weeks it seems things have just went down hill, he is having trouble breatheing, his right lung had a lot of fluid, we had it drained and was expecting him to improve but it didn't happen, he's having trouble swallowing and can barely eat. Yesterday he had a CT scan and last night his nurse called and requested the family to meet with his doctor on monday morning.
At the start of this his cancer doctor told us with bladder cancer the treatment works wonders on some people and not at all on others, he said if it didn't work the cancer would spread to his lungs and he would only live 6 monthes, well it's the sixth month and it looks like he was right.
My thought for today is that I'm dreading Monday morning because all of this seemed like a dream and we thought he would come out of this. My Mom just thinks he'll pop out of this soon and be back the way he was and I'm not looking forward to seeing her reaction Monday when it sinks in.
I know this is a personal thing and some have wondered why someone would post such things, I just need to get it out and really don't have anyone to talk to.

Crew Chief · 05-02-2009, 09:21 AM

Raoddog, it's always good to get things off of your chest. My thoughts are with you, your dad and all around him...

Kerowyn · 05-02-2009, 09:35 AM

not to worry we are all hear for you. Apparently the C-D family is a loving family and well even though you have very tough times ahead we will be with you everyday.
Cancer as well all know is strange bed fellow. Attacks each of us differently and we respond differently. I wish I could hand you the perfect words and gift you with the knowledge for taking care of this situation. It always seems impossible, but all will be as it should be and you already have the strength within you.
take care and well... we will be here for you when you need us...

blessed be.
Kero

Gaffer · 05-02-2009, 09:44 AM

My thoughts are with you and wishing you, your dad, mom and those around you the very best things can be under the circumstances.
Not a strange place to vent at all. CD forum is a strong support group.

Cyber Munchkin · 05-02-2009, 09:59 AM

Roaddog....you are going through a very difficult time in your life and it's OK to come here and just let your heart talk.....CD is a big shoulder and it is here for all of us! Especially in times that we need to just lean our heads upon for a while....
Keeping your Dad, you and entire family in my prayers!

fuzzymystic · 05-02-2009, 10:15 AM

Cancer is a rotten, stinking disease, but your love and devotion and hopefulness have been awe-inspiring. You have been a wonderful son, the kind any parent would be proud to call their own. I am so sorry.

Magnum Mike · 05-02-2009, 10:34 AM

Ouch, RoadDog, I can imagine the anxiety you and your mom are going through right now. Our prayers and thoughts are with you.

Jaxson · 05-02-2009, 12:35 PM

Roaddog if it makes you feel better to post it here then do it. We all need support even if that support comes from virtual friends.

Indeed you have been a great son helping with your dad through all his treatments & doctors. This next step, if it is the one you are thinking, will be the hardest yet but being accepting and supportive is the best you can do for your mom & him right now. We are here to listen if you need it but know prayers are up for the whole family.

Peace and blessings.

toosie · 05-02-2009, 12:57 PM

I'm so sorry about your dad's prognosis and the struggle it must be for all of you. I'm glad, though, that you can come here to get some of it off your chest and have some support. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and hope that your dad gets the best palliative care in order to ease things some.

Hugs to you

Tek_Freek · 05-02-2009, 01:35 PM

Perhaps looking past what you have been through to what you are going to go through is a good thing. It may seem a bit harsh to bring it up, but it is inevitable, and you will have to deal with it.

I wish I could give you what was given to me: acceptance. While I did not go through a prolonged time of treatment with either parent, I have with other relatives and I had a very tough time until I simply decided to accept it for what it is; an inevitable process. Disease and death will happen to all of us, we have no choice. Watching my brother suffer through cancer was difficult and frustrating. We can't do a thing about it, we just have to support them as best we can and wait for the outcome. We knew from the start he would not recover, his was terminal with no chance of survival. Your situation seems somehow more cruel; the chance of survival and the hope it entails with the wrong ending to the story.

One day I simply understood that this was part of living and I could do nothing to change it. I had a picture in my mind of a light breeze flowing past my head that represented the passage of my brother and to me that was my acceptance of his fate. I have no idea what triggered this or where it came from, it was just a flash of thought that gave me calm, a calm I had not felt for quite some time.

I can only hope that at some point in your life you will be fortunate to share this feeling.

All my best to you and your family.