Should I write an old friend in prison?

[dukester2]

I guess I would have to write...with your history with her and all, you were very close. You know much more than any of us do and you would know if she would be the type to bleed on your mercy or not..if she IS that type, than like it was said before, you have a wonderful life full of love, blessings, and harmony...you don't need the disruption and added burdens.

Good luck in either road you take.

[NorthFace&Timbs]

You all are right, I actually had time to sleep on this. No she WASN'T and I say wasn't because I haven't spoken to her in years, but the person I knew she was I think she wouldn't sponge on me, matter of fact she used to help me out more than I did for her, but my husband and all of you made a good point, the truth is I haven't spoke to her in years and I don't know what her state of mind is NOW most likely she probably is not the same person mentally as when I knew her. And according to the website she just got convicted, she's only beginning to serve her 3 year sentence she's only been in there a month, so she probably would try to get as much "help" as she possibly could.I'm just going to let it go, even back then she was always attracted to the wrong kind of guys who led a fast life, and she had to take care of herself since she was 13 so she always would look for a way to get money quickly (without elaborating) while I would be willing to struggle with and $8.00 hr job. and go to school. Come to think of it we were leading different lives then, I guess I never thought it would go this far with her. Last time I spoke to her come to think of it, after she got her G.E.D she said she was going to enroll in some kind of nursing assistant course and she told me she was pregnant and she wished me good luck because I was leaving for basic training in a few weeks. I guess she didn't go that route after all, it really saddens me because I know she could have done so much more with her life and all I keep thinking about are her kids. I'm so glad even through my struggles in life, that I wasn't tempted to go the illegal route. And I never thought about her thinking "wow, I have my old friend back", having my address or collect calling, or asking me to send her stamps, money, or hygiene products or even a visit to damn near Canada to see her, the worst one looking me up when she gets out, because I highly doubt the "friends" that got her there would be there 3 years from now. I definately don't need that and certainly don't want to involve my family in that. My husband would hit the roof, if we started getting collect calls, or tons of mail from prison. Thanks for all you guys input. I will rip up the address for now and let it go. This is a great forum by the way.

[dukester2]

Whew!! Good choice! Now that you had a good sleep on it and rationalized everything so in-depth I'm sure that you are making the right choice. Thank you for serving our country too...we are very proud of people like yourself

[jhlcomp]

Consider this. Would the urge to write or contact her be as strong if she weren't in prison? Would the allure still be the same?

If you want to contact her, why not wait until she gets out. You waited this long. Then you can hear her side of the story. Until then, enjoy your life and wish a better one for her.

[NorthFace&Timbs]

Originally Posted by jhlcomp

Consider this. Would the urge to write or contact her be as strong if she weren't in prison? Would the allure still be the same?

If you want to contact her, why not wait until she gets out. You waited this long. Then you can hear her side of the story. Until then, enjoy your life and wish a better one for her.

Ha Ha you got a point, but I was looking for her anyway, that's how I found out where she was, but I see where your getting at. I'm always watching prison movies and juvi detention shows on HBO. I guess that would be my only way of knowing how it really is on the other side by writing her. I guess that's why some women write men in prison. It's that curiousity

[jkmewright]

I once had an uncle in prison so I kind of have an insider's perspective on this one. This was a kind and gentle man who made some bad decisions. I suggest that you do write her, she may be lonely and ANY contact with the outside world is a blessing to prisoners. At one time, she was a person you valued and cherished, she may still be this person. If you are worried about any future ramifications from contact w/her, write from a PO box. Nothing safer than that IMHO.

[Delaneyland]

Originally Posted by jhlcomp

Consider this. Would the urge to write or contact her be as strong if she weren't in prison? Would the allure still be the same?

If you want to contact her, why not wait until she gets out. You waited this long. Then you can hear her side of the story. Until then, enjoy your life and wish a better one for her.

JHL makes a great point,, another thing to consider is if she has tried to contact you in years past. Keep in mind, prisons are a great learning institution for folks to continue their behavior, then again, I've never met a convict that wasn't innocent. Do what is best for you and your family...

[Pixie Dust]

I am soo glad that you decided to let it go. My eldest brother has been in and out of prison his whole life. My parents raised us all the same (five of us) and he is the only one to chose that life for himself. I remember the collect calls and letters of the changed man!!! To say the least everytime he got out he would go back to his old behavior and go right back in. He has been out now going on five years now...same behavior, hes just been luckier. I wouldn't be surprised if one night soon I get a call saying hes locked up again.