Anyone know any adoptees?

[toosie]

For some reason, I feel like I've known more kids who were adopted than many people do. The vast majority of the people I've known had good experiences, are well adjusted, and have loving relationships with their families. Interesting to me is that only one of my friends who is adopted is on a quest to find her birth parents.

Yes, being adopted is a special circumstance, but these kids are desperately wanted and deeply loved - they aren't an afterthought - they ARE family through and through without question.

[kaykay]

Originally Posted by studedude

I have 2 adopted sons. I suppose when they are adopted matters. Ours were adopted as babies and have never known any other parents. They have also known they were adopted since before they knew what it meant. We have told both of them that if they ever wanted to locate their biological parents we would help. At 34 and 27 neither has any desire to locate them. They have always considered Mrs D and me their parents.

We also adopted a baby boy at birth, and it was wonderful. I think studedude may be right. When the child is adopted may indeed make a difference. Obviously, there is more to deal with when a child is older when the adoption occurs. ( In fact, it was a lady I worked with who was herself adopted, along with her brother, who encouraged me strongly to pursue adoption.)

[lisa805]

My stepdaughter was adopted and she is searching for her 1/2 sister who was adopted (Born Rachel Faulkner, early 1978 adopted through dyfs in Elizabeth NJ)
My stepdaughter is close to her adoptive parents and has always been even though she didn't know she was adopted until she was 13. She feels blessed that her adoptive parents were able to have her as their own and wouldn't have it any other way.

[Giesela]

As to when the child is adopted vis a vis success I think you would also have to take the adopted parents into consideration equally. Yes adopted children are wanted but that doesn't automatically equate to Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver. This sounds a little stupid but people are human as in flawed. Wanting and loving a child doesn't mean they will be perfect parents which also doesn't mean that the outcome wont be positive. I wonder if the motivation for adoption is sometimes a factor. Just like people often bear children for the wrong reasons I suppose people adopt for the wrong reasons as well.

[studedude]

Lots of good thoughts here. Age when adopted, age when child is told they are adopted, and adoptive parents are all part of the equation. I remembered something else we have always told our boys. Their birth mother loved them enough to do what was best for them. I have known several women who have made that decision and can tell you, it hurts